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#55166 (238/358) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job |
#54135 (238/428) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Geeky1: Jaguar V12s make baby jesus cry. They are, hands down, the biggest fucking mess I've ever seen under the hood of a car in my entire life
(...10 minutes later...)
Godzilla941: i think i finally found the dipstick
Godzilla941: it's like where's waldo for mechanics |
#51343 (238/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wils0r> I was hearing about that guy
<wils0r> Jude Law or whatever
<wils0r> he has the best life ever
<loko> cuz hes fuckin the nanny or why
<wils0r> he fucked the nanny, and then his hot ass wife took him back, made him make up a list of all the girls he fucked
<wils0r> and now he is in trouble because he inadvertantly left kate moss off the list, who he had a 3some with
<wils0r> so wtf
<wils0r> does life get better than being able to forget about a 3some with kate moss |
#47173 (238/410) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Kel: woops
Kel: the account number doesn't go in the Amount box
Kel: i don't want to transfer $579835962 to account number 145 |
#44593 (238/450) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Timmy> what is the point of IPs?
<+Timmy> like what can u do with them?
<&Edwards> you use them to talk to computers
<+Timmy> ok
<+Timmy> why not use MSN? |
#43524 (238/346) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*JU5T1CE* says helpful hint #471 - The highest concentration of pickpockets is always your nearest Star Trek Convention as it is a well known fact that 85% of Star Trek fans use 1701 as their ATM pin. |
#43490 (238/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Calum> going to bed at 4am, then getting woken by traffic at 8am is unpleasant
<Calum> *grumbles about his head being sore*
<Alice> How about going to bed at 1 am and waking up at 5 to go to work?
<Calum> that's also unpleasant
<Alice> It is what I am about to do
<Calum> i've gone to bed at 5 and gotten up at 6 for work before
<@ALC> but its effectively 2 am :p
<+MStar> or drinking heavily and waking up the next morning wearing nothing but kitty ears in some stranger guy's bed?
<Calum> wtf?
<Alice> o.O
<@ALC> ...
<+MStar> i mean.. finish school project at 4 and need to wake up at 7.
<Calum> oh yeah, that's unpleasant. |
#35089 (238/454) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rykan> ah man, chocolate is evil...
<CrazyEruntje> 1 ounce of chocolate
<CrazyEruntje> equals one pound of body fat :P
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> so wait...
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> i can turn my body fat into chocolate?
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> omg!!!
<[Illuminati]Jaerchom> I be rich yo!Comment: #MxO on irc.stratics
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#34940 (238/428) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Zappo> may I suggest a "Fix it" button in every error box too?
<Zappo> I also want undo on power off
<wardrobe> look, you're just being silly now
<Zappo> what do you mean "now"? did you think the "fix it" was actually possible? |
#34012 (238/434) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Serrated Sp00n: Holy crap. My dad just told me has a server he's gonna give me.
Serrated Sp00n: And I just saw it.
a restless child: Did you shiver with unadulterated lustful anticipatory glory?
Serrated Sp00n: Yes. |
#33293 (238/428) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(SlackMuffin) [22:25] <SlackMuffin> winamp(2.80) playing(17 - Katrina & The Waves - Walking on sunshine) stats(38% of 3m 55s )
(SlackMuffin) [22:25] <SlackMuffin> I mean.. winamp(2.80) playing(really cool masculine music.mp3) stats(38% of 3m 55s) |
#33190 (238/382) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Lawn-Gnome> fuck
<@Lawn-Gnome> time to take the toaster outside again :\
<@Zee> ...
<@DonoftheDead> wtf
<@Lawn-Gnome> i dont got a lighter
<@Lawn-Gnome> and i cant smoke inside
<@Lawn-Gnome> so i ben taken the toaster outside to light my smoke off of
<@Lawn-Gnome> brbComment: From teh h4x
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#29110 (238/426) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bruce> You know the mile high club?
<Sheila> what about it?
<Bruce> Can you join it on your own?
<Sheila> you sad, sad little man |
#23512 (238/467) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Pr|cK> oi shan on sunday last week at footlocker when i was buying new shoes
<@Pr|cK> there was this REALLY HOT chick working there right
<@Pr|cK> anyway i went in to buy shoes, and she saw my $500 sunnies
<@Pr|cK> and she gave me her number
<@cray> pfft that's nothing...i went into this shop and waved around my expensive gun, and the chick behind the counter gave me all her money |
#23380 (238/419) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Arrgh> hmmm... i need to write my own matrix code
<Harrison> Yes, Arrgh!
<Harrison> Then you can subjugate the entire human population!
<Harrison> Except for a small number of upstarts who'll wind up totally ruining your plans.
<Harrison> One of them will be a terrible actor.
<Arrgh> naw, that has a scale thats much too big
<Arrgh> i'll have to just subjugate all of you gys
<Harrison> Can I be the bad actor?
<Arrgh> i dunno, you need to audition!
<Harrison> Ok ok ok. How's this...
<Harrison> "Whoa."
<Arrgh> you're hired! |
#19199 (239/426) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Phantom> I heard the funniest thing on DBZ today
<Phantom> "Having these balls makes me feel something approaching joy, I think. I want to caress them." --Frieza |
#14826 (238/376) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the one" I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers |
#12899 (238/412) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DireWolf> My life'd be a whole lot cooler if Vikings invaded every once in a while. |
#11169 (238/408) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet |
#8637 (238/418) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<NiTro> i gonna go test for hiv
<NiTro> bbl
<Impolite> think positive |
#6068 (238/392) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<GaeMan> Chia: Be nice to CAgurl today.
<chirpet> I am always nice to CAgurl. I resent the implication.
<chirpet> I am nice to everyone.
<chirpet> Always.
<chirpet> So shut up.
<chirpet> pigfucker. |
#4918 (238/391) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter |
#2929 (238/401) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<neck> btw... bought an ice cream maker today :)
<qu4ntum> dont you mean a donut maker ?
<Lord-Data> very easy to get those confused ..
<neck> oh hell yeah
<neck> oh crap... it was a donut maker |
#1628 (238/401) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<reflector> I'm skinny and I have a big nose, but girls still let me touch them sometimes
<Viseus> reflector: Yeah me too. In packed subway trains and stuff |
#239 (238/504) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Amanda`> I just went out to the parking lot in my bathrobe to exchange warez CDs. |
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