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#307428* (?/58) ⚐Flag
<Ifrit> 1992 telnetted, they want their joke back
#311324* (?/53) ⚐Flag
<Odiumchild>    Oh what the hell, I was adjusting my QOS and now I can't access my router lol
<Odiumchild>    I guess restart my router and hope nothing worse happens
-- Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
-- Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  ayyy restart let me get back into my router
<Odiumchild>  Lets go
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Ow%~{g_v3!QWKi:SEvl{8atBGU(+S>1`r"d<&+UrA:]%<-Hzkz1 _j&xZ!B-
<Whitey>  you fucked up your QoS mate
<Whitey>  think you need to reboot it again
<Odiumchild>  Test
<Whitey>  must have jumbo frames on, all your text is coming through as garbage
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> O<Od72B|6,LC6nUwlsMh~xj:tWO8ZFi?_|L-.t|:*^'PG6
<tcg>  Odiumchild stop spamming the chat with garbage
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  you fuckin troll
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  10/10, this is great
<Whitey>  we don't know what you're saying
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  he fuckin quit
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  I am so pleased with this result
<diytto>  LOL
<Pupper>  lol
<Whitey>  ahahahahaha
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  likewise
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  i like how everyone just let it happen
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  poor bastard
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  test
<Whitey>  jesus
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: sort your shit out
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left the channel ("")
<Whitey>  hahaha
<vinyl>  Odiumchild you're about to get tested so damn hard
<Whitey>  ssssh
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  test
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> prueba
<Whitey>  is that spanish?
<Whitey>  what setting did you enable Odiumchild?
<Odiumchild>  Is my text broke or not, or is Whitey just trolling me
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> es mi texto se rompió o no, o se me acaba de Whitey curricán
<Whitey>  dude
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: we don't understand what you're saying, try rebooting
<Whitey>  I don't speak spanish
<Whitey>  does anyone speak spanish?
<tcg>  Whitey yeah
<Whitey>  what's it say tcg?
<tcg>  he's saying that his text is either broken or not / whether you're something
<tcg>  idk that verb
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: hola amigo
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  haha
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  he's gotta catch on now
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  you say that
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  amazing... is this real?
<vinyl>  hahahaha
<tcg>  hahhahahahah
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  are we living in a bash.org quote?
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  We good now?
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Estamos bien ahora?
<Whitey>  tcg: can you translate?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: no espaniol por favor
<tcg>  Odiumchild: tienes problemas con tú texto
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: what are you saying? have you rebooted your computer?
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  next up is esperanto translation
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  rofl
<tcg>  and he's gone
<diytto>  i know spanish
<Jelleh>  when he gets back, never respond to him, pretend you don't see his messages
<tcg>  Jelleh no, Whitey has an even better plan
<Whitey>  Jelleh: esperanto is next :P
<arborist|work>  lmao
<Whitey>  got google translate up and ready ;)
<Jelleh>  perfect
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  Fuck it, we'll do it live
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Fuck ĝin, ni faros lin en vivas
<Whitey>  tcg: is that spanish still?
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  from PM:
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:50:53]  <Odiumchild>    are you guys trolling me or?
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:15]  <tcg>    what language are you even speaking in
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:17]  <tcg>    stop trolling
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:17]  <tcg>    smh
<tcg>  Odiumchild what the fuck are you saying
<Whitey>  I don't recognise that
<tcg>  no Whitey that is definitely not spanish
<Whitey>  hold on Odiumchild, I'll pull up google translate
<Whitey>  fuck knows what you did to your router
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: vi havas la "packet loss"?
<Whitey>  oh shit
<Whitey>  anyone speak esperanto?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - vi devas fabrikon rekomencigita via router
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - Mi esperas ĉi tradukas bone, Mi uzas retan traduki provi kaj komuniki kun vi. Kontrolu vian QoS kaj via lingvo agordojn.
<tcg>  Whitey what the fuck are you even saying
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - Eble vi devus provi dd-respekto aŭ tomato
<canary>  its esperanto dood
<Whitey>  tcg: I'm google trnalsating esperanto back to him
<tcg>  ahhhh
<Whitey>  hoping it goes back so he can understand
<Whitey>  I'm assuming he can't read what we're writing here
<Odiumchild>  Now I know you guys are trolling me
<thegreattoad>  what language is that
<Odiumchild>  I hate you guys
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: definitive provi rekomenci la router, ĝi ŝajnas kiel paketon perdo de Tiucele
<thegreattoad>  google says esperanto, i never heard of that
<oddbondboris>  i look up an i see esperanto
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - kiu min troll?
<tcg>  thegreattoad it's a fake language
<Jelleh>  he says troll?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: I respect your choice for a universal language, but I think you should modify your router settings
<Odiumchild>  I feel so griefed
<Whitey>  I'll link you to the bash.org quote shortly ;)
<tcg>  kek
<diytto>  this guy Odiumchild
<diytto>  what a fucking guy
<Odiumchild>  I hate you guys so much
<Odiumchild>  Reported
Comment: Odiumchild switches on esperanto on his router
#296865* (?/53) ⚐Flag
<Paradox> ok, so
<Paradox> I forgot what the latin root for 'hairy' was
<Paradox> so I punched in 'hairy latin' into google
#310165* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Taneb> Question:
<Taneb> What's a dew point?
<boily> it's the temperature an object needs to be for condensation to appear.
<pikhq> Temperature at which water vapor in the air condenses into liquid water.
<pikhq> i.e. the temperature at which dew forms.
<Taneb> OK
<Taneb> Doesn't look like there'll be a dew today, then
<boily> I mean, it's all according to current conditions. you always need to chill that object down from ambient temperature for dew to appear.
<boily> (or, be in the morning, as in, like, you know, regular dew.)
<oerjan> if the dewpoint is higher than the temperature, you're having a flood hth
<pikhq> Yes. If the dewpoint is higher than the ambient temperature it means the air is actually water.
#234487* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Matthew> Eh, logged out already
<Matthew> Watching Wall-E
<AaronIsFab> It's not too bad
<Matthew> I don't get why girls think he's so cute.
<AaronIsFab> its an excuse to watch it
<Rsd95> i think they think the way he talks is cute or something
<Rsd95> the weird noises and what not
<Matthew> Must be a vibrator thing.
<Rsd95> probably
#311582* (?/21) ⚐Flag
@KittyKatt | I'll describe the weather to you in the form of a haiku.
@KittyKatt | There are birds chirping
@KittyKatt | But my heater is broken
@KittyKatt | I am fucking cold
#303656* (?/72) ⚐Flag
<Rican boy87>: my dick is like Inception
<Rican boy87>: just keeps going deeper and deeper.
<GOLD SWORD>: then you wake up
#307291* (?/62) ⚐Flag
[22:25:04] <horrorfax> I want to make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
[22:25:39] <oughts> Still, that was a noble attempt.
[22:33:04] <horrorfax> I'm not even going to try to top that.
[22:33:07] <horrorfax> Well done.
[22:33:20] <horrorfax> That's a lie. I tried to top it for seven minutes.
#304451* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<mikemike> massive fail
<mikemike> put mail() on wrong line
<mikemike> just emailed myself 1273 times
#301772* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<Matazar> haha, so I found this girls profile on some dating site
<Matazar> her about me started off with:
<Matazar> "I am me, me I am! Do I like green eggs and ham? Do I like them on this couch? Do I eat them from a pouch? Do I like them with some punch? Do I eat them just for lunch? I guess you'll have to ask and see, and come to have some green with me!"
<Matazar> So I just sent her a message with the subject:
<Matazar> "I does not like green eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat."
#301256* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<Sebas> So today's dinner is leftovers.
<Sebas> Problem is, being the greedy fucks we are, we ate all the food yesterday.
<Sebas> I'm not entirely sure how my mum plans to make dinner out of nothing.
#306670* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<Nae> for fuck's sake
<Nae> fuck
<CUM_quesa> heh
<Nae> i was going to write either dicks or fucks
Comment: #isharia
#302407* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don&#65533;t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."
Comment: #chatspike on irc.chatspike.net
#300358* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<Fax> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rapeseed
<Fax> because if you write nutrition information labels for a living you need to get your kicks from somewhere
<Fax> I'd totally do stuff like "Polyethylene Monosodium Carbonate (Vitamin A, Vitamin B4, Vitamin lol this doesn't even exist I just made it up...but let's see you eat it NOW. Man I can't believe you're even still reading this. Go outside.)"
<lolfighter> Vitamin lol DOES exist.
<lolfighter> It was an experimental food additive developed in the very late 70s.
<lolfighter> By the early 80s a few human experiments had been made.
<lolfighter> My mother was strapped for cash, so she participated.
<lolfighter> She didn't know she was pregnant at the time.
<lolfighter> I was the result.
<lolfighter> The records were sealed after that and all research abandoned.
#306632* (?/46) ⚐Flag
<Drag> In the US, you can say ass, and you can say hole
<Drag> but you absolutely cannot say "asshole"
<Drag> you will get bleeped
<Rena> what if you're referring to the hole an ass is in
<Rena> "that's the hole where we keep the asses. the ass hole."
<devin> at that point you are charged with animal cruelty for keeping livestock inside of a hole
<Rena> well maybe it's a very big hole
<Drag> It must've taken a lot of work to get the ass hole that big
#307260* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<HarryD> well shit
<HarryD> that girl that i went on a date with?
<B1naryth1ef> yes
<HarryD> wants to "head my log"
<B1naryth1ef> Why shit?
<HarryD> by log she meant penis
<HarryD> (i hope)
<B1naryth1ef> Or ya know, she has a lumberjack fetish
<cITs> why would she want to read old entries of your logfiles?
Comment: #anapnea
#309766* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<The_Ass_Burgerler> Er, Satan, you know that virgin I sacrificed to you?
<The_Ass_Burgerler> I kind of want her back
<Satan> Damn really?
<Satan> Well, rumor has it she isn't a virgin anymore
#304863* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Hbomb> .seen zelse
<feepbot> Hbomb: I have last seen zelse 45 weeks, 3 days ago saying "well that was a disturbing mental image".
<Constie> It really bothered him a lot.
#302178* (?/75) ⚐Flag
<Ironholds> "Lady Almeria Braddock felt insulted by Mrs Elphinstone and challenged her to a duel in London's Hyde Park after their genteel conversation turned to the subject of Lady Almeria's true age. The ladies first exchanged pistol shots in which Lady Almeria's hat was damaged. They then continued with swords until Mrs. Elphinstone received a wound to her arm and agreed to write Lady Almeria an apology."
<Dragonfly6-7> "Please excuse the handwriting, as my arm was mutilated when some cow slashed at it with a sword."
#305579* (?/60) ⚐Flag
<Valtieri> Hmm, close friend's got an English professor who refuses to let the guys in his class wear anything on their heads, but allows female students to - no, it's not a religious thing, either; I asked him if it was just so that Muslim ladies could keep their headscarves on if they chose.
<Valtieri> I told him to wear his cat ears in. They're not a hat, they're an adorable headband. Discussion over.
<ShadowCrow> :D
<Valtieri> Haha, just told him this, too:
<Valtieri> <Val> Oh jeez, owls apparently keep swooping down like they're gonna steal my friend's hat when he's out jogging in the evening.
<Valtieri> <Val> What the fuck...?
<Valtieri> <Val> I told him to get a beanie hat, you know, with a propeller... form the blades from stainless steel, sharpened, power them with a drill motor.
<Valtieri> <Val> But this is a problem that should never exist.
<Valtieri> <Val> You could do something similar with your professor. "Mr. Veilleux, take off that hat." "Okay, take it from me."
<ShadowCrow> hahaha :D
<ShadowCrow> xD
<Valtieri> Thinking 18/8 stainless should do well enough for the cost/difficulty.
<Valtieri> Hmm... run off of the appropriate number of NiCd or NiMH AAs in a pocket, with a momentary switch inline for safety and convenience.
<Valtieri> Easy enough.
<Valtieri> The hardest part would be stabilising the hat, but if you take a construction hard hat, drill a couple holes, and install a low-profile mounting bracket for the drill motor (a bog-standard Mabuchi RS-540 would do it)...
<Valtieri> Paint that shit like a beanie hat, with gaily coloured quadrants...
<Valtieri> From there it's wire, a quick-release connector so you could carry the batteries and switch around but take off the hat, solder, and possibly resistors.
<Valtieri> I've never thought about murdering owls with a hat before.
#302643* (?/20) ⚐Flag
sunny_mousey: you are on your way to alcohol poisoning town.
SudoJones: do hety have laoiqikcer store ther
Comment: #inportb on freenode
#302958* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<Unosuke> how does one go about cureing insecurity?
<Holst_> I hate this approach but it's really true (in most cases): Face your fears Uno
<Unosuke> but i wanna fix myself BEFORE I actually do anything D:
<Holst_> That's what I hate about the approach
<mark> Unosuke: there's also watering your scrotum till you grow a pair.
#311245* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<nacht> I sold body armor in a rite aid parking lot yesterday.
<Naraka> I love everything about that.
<nacht> Ohio ftw
<nacht> Are you a felon? No? Here buy this AK and 2000 rounds out of my trunk.
#302352* (?/9) ⚐Flag
lonestarnorth: so i had lunch at the mall today
lonestarnorth: i like to do that on mondays so i don't have to make my own lunch, ie can sleep in
lonestarnorth: and i was walking back
lonestarnorth: now, picture a guy 20 something years old
lonestarnorth: walking ahead of you
lonestarnorth: say he was walking past a store window
lonestarnorth: and suddenly he noticed there were BOOBS in that store window
lonestarnorth just as he was passing
lonestarnorth: imagine the look he would make
Scaramouche: heh, okay.
lonestarnorth: i saw an old guy do that
Scaramouche: LOL
lonestarnorth: but for a sale on sweater vests
lonestarnorth: not boobs
Scaramouche: ...
lonestarnorth: i guess your priorities really do change when you get older
#304009* (?/55) ⚐Flag
***DoucheEnrique rolls 2 6-sided dice: 1 3
Mathii: 6 sided dice?
Mathii: o.o
DoucheEnrique: yes
Mathii: didn't know those existed
DoucheEnrique: err
Yellowchopsticks: um
DoucheEnrique: lol
Vulpes: ...
Yellowchopsticks: are you serious?
Mathii: seen'em in those dungeons and dragons flash and what not
Vulpes: Sometimes I just want to cry.
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