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#311531* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<pflanze> in any case, I can see why you changed your userid from ``bigassniggaonascooterdrinkingcaprisun`` before launching the business
#303166* (?/33) ⚐Flag
<indigo> some of my fish are not very smart.
<indigo> i have some that are small catfish (1-2") with a sucker mouth
<indigo> i startled some, and they jumped above the waterline and clung to the glass in the air.
#254430* (?/33) ⚐Flag
lordhelmet: just got back from DC
lordhelmet: I took nearly 500 photos
HWF13nd: haha sweet
HWF13nd: I�m going to Vegas in January
lordhelmet: Yeah I got to see memorials for dead people all you're going to get to see is strippers
lordhelmet: wait
lordhelmet: dammit
#304396* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<@Garg> In what circumstance would an ip trace to florida but a hostname to guatemala?
<@meeb> certain third world networks terminate in first world peering points
<@Sebas> That's a bit harsh, Florida may be a shithole but it's not quite third world.
#309042* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Vaylin> Do yu go to school far away from where you live Keren?
<Keren> Yes, Vaylin XD
<Vaylin> My Us geography sucks .... Lol
<Keren> You know where California is?
<Vaylin> I do Keren
<Keren> Do you know where Kentucky is?
<Vaylin> Hmmm south central? I think .....
<Keren> Correct Answer: Who gives a damn? Kentucky sucks.
<Keren> I'm going to college in Japan
#306879* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Cprossu> can't put a bigger one in, too many computer parts around it
<wannabe1987> lol
<wannabe1987> move them?
<Cprossu> some support the bed.
Comment: #thegeekgroup irc.freenode.net
#309219* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<@Kain_Dragoon> lol..... just ran google translate on a page full of names of hentai doujinshi
<@Kain_Dragoon> its funny shit
<@Kain_Dragoon> its so literal
<@Kain_Dragoon> Relocation of the capital hundred raw vagina
<@Kain_Dragoon> ROFL
<@Zinic> And this is why I don't do this
#307530* (?/43) ⚐Flag
MichaelXX2_: College is great
MichaelXX2_: Just don't fuck yourself
MichaelXX2_: Then things get really really bad
BlueProtoman: Fuck myself?  In what way?  You mean "don't neglect coursework"?
MichaelXX2_: Well there's that
MichaelXX2_: Very much so
MichaelXX2_: And also be sure not to masturbate in the middle of class during a wild hallucination brought on by a lack of sleep
MichaelXX2_: That's not good either
BlueProtoman: Noted.
Comment: #openpandora on Freenode
#302195* (?/84) ⚐Flag
dexi: Today this lady came in to best buy with a tv to exchange because it "didnt have enough features"
Cynic: wow
dexi: this lady was so funny...
dexi: im not done
dexi: this lady was so funny, in a bad way
Cynic: heh
dexi: she said "my neighbor has a sony that has a video game mode and it makes it so theres no delay between when you do something, and when it shows up on the screen
dexi: already she clearly has no idea wtf shes talking about
Cynic: wow
dexi: but i have to play along or i'll get fired, so i take her to the tv section and show her around
dexi: and she starts like... flirting, but trying to do it conspicuously
Cynic: ... how old is she?
dexi: like bending over far past whats comfortable to show off her ass
dexi: idk 30
Cynic: oh god
dexi: she was hott
dexi: so i didnt mind lol
Cynic: oh haha
dexi: but anyway, there was someone who needed help in video games (my area) and my coworker is better with TVs so we traded
dexi: and when i got back to him, the first thing he said was "That retard lady called you a retard"
dexi: then he said "and she kept trying to feel my cock"
#300945* (?/79) ⚐Flag
<%Chlamydia> normalboy: 100% CERTIFIED BONER FUEL.
<%Chlamydia> "boner fuel" is maybe one of my favorite phrases ever.
<@ME-tan> hahahaha
<+normalboy> sounds like a Monster energy drink spin off
<+normalboy> for those special bro-rape moments
<%Chlamydia> LOL
<@ME-tan> powerthirst!
<+normalboy> HEY
<+normalboy> DO YOU WANNA FEEL SO GAY
<+normalboy> TRY BONER FUEL
<+normalboy> THE ENERGY DRINK FOR GAY MEN
<%Chlamydia> I was up all night studying for a final when Braedon walked in with nothing but his bicycle shorts on and he wanted me to peg him in the ass but I was SO TIRED that I almost said NO but then I had a BONER FUEL
<+normalboy> MENERGY
<%Chlamydia> ^
#305899* (?/48) ⚐Flag
<apo`104_> Scientists Create World�s 1st Practical Artificial Leaf, 10X as Efficient as the Real Thing <- yeah, but it doesn't exactly grow on trees
#307428* (?/58) ⚐Flag
<Ifrit> 1992 telnetted, they want their joke back
#296865* (?/53) ⚐Flag
<Paradox> ok, so
<Paradox> I forgot what the latin root for 'hairy' was
<Paradox> so I punched in 'hairy latin' into google
#310165* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Taneb> Question:
<Taneb> What's a dew point?
<boily> it's the temperature an object needs to be for condensation to appear.
<pikhq> Temperature at which water vapor in the air condenses into liquid water.
<pikhq> i.e. the temperature at which dew forms.
<Taneb> OK
<Taneb> Doesn't look like there'll be a dew today, then
<boily> I mean, it's all according to current conditions. you always need to chill that object down from ambient temperature for dew to appear.
<boily> (or, be in the morning, as in, like, you know, regular dew.)
<oerjan> if the dewpoint is higher than the temperature, you're having a flood hth
<pikhq> Yes. If the dewpoint is higher than the ambient temperature it means the air is actually water.
#234487* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Matthew> Eh, logged out already
<Matthew> Watching Wall-E
<AaronIsFab> It's not too bad
<Matthew> I don't get why girls think he's so cute.
<AaronIsFab> its an excuse to watch it
<Rsd95> i think they think the way he talks is cute or something
<Rsd95> the weird noises and what not
<Matthew> Must be a vibrator thing.
<Rsd95> probably
#311431* (?/21) ⚐Flag
curiousjock> hi
<sickleanna> hiya curiousjock
<curiousjock> hey there sickleanna
<bubblegumbitch> oh sick leanna. i thought anna was a communist lol
* sickleanna is now known as sickle-anna
<sickle-anna> lets roll with it
<TungstenCarbide> can't roll
<TungstenCarbide> someone sliced the tires
<TungstenCarbide> someone with a SICKLE
#303656* (?/72) ⚐Flag
<Rican boy87>: my dick is like Inception
<Rican boy87>: just keeps going deeper and deeper.
<GOLD SWORD>: then you wake up
#307291* (?/62) ⚐Flag
[22:25:04] <horrorfax> I want to make a chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon.
[22:25:39] <oughts> Still, that was a noble attempt.
[22:33:04] <horrorfax> I'm not even going to try to top that.
[22:33:07] <horrorfax> Well done.
[22:33:20] <horrorfax> That's a lie. I tried to top it for seven minutes.
#304451* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<mikemike> massive fail
<mikemike> put mail() on wrong line
<mikemike> just emailed myself 1273 times
#301772* (?/57) ⚐Flag
<Matazar> haha, so I found this girls profile on some dating site
<Matazar> her about me started off with:
<Matazar> "I am me, me I am! Do I like green eggs and ham? Do I like them on this couch? Do I eat them from a pouch? Do I like them with some punch? Do I eat them just for lunch? I guess you'll have to ask and see, and come to have some green with me!"
<Matazar> So I just sent her a message with the subject:
<Matazar> "I does not like green eggs and meat. It's you who I would like to eat."
#311324* (?/52) ⚐Flag
<Odiumchild>    Oh what the hell, I was adjusting my QOS and now I can't access my router lol
<Odiumchild>    I guess restart my router and hope nothing worse happens
-- Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Ping timeout: 121 seconds)
-- Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  ayyy restart let me get back into my router
<Odiumchild>  Lets go
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Ow%~{g_v3!QWKi:SEvl{8atBGU(+S>1`r"d<&+UrA:]%<-Hzkz1 _j&xZ!B-
<Whitey>  you fucked up your QoS mate
<Whitey>  think you need to reboot it again
<Odiumchild>  Test
<Whitey>  must have jumbo frames on, all your text is coming through as garbage
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> O<Od72B|6,LC6nUwlsMh~xj:tWO8ZFi?_|L-.t|:*^'PG6
<tcg>  Odiumchild stop spamming the chat with garbage
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  you fuckin troll
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  10/10, this is great
<Whitey>  we don't know what you're saying
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  he fuckin quit
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  I am so pleased with this result
<diytto>  LOL
<Pupper>  lol
<Whitey>  ahahahahaha
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  likewise
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  i like how everyone just let it happen
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  poor bastard
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  test
<Whitey>  jesus
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: sort your shit out
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left the channel ("")
<Whitey>  hahaha
<vinyl>  Odiumchild you're about to get tested so damn hard
<Whitey>  ssssh
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  test
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> prueba
<Whitey>  is that spanish?
<Whitey>  what setting did you enable Odiumchild?
<Odiumchild>  Is my text broke or not, or is Whitey just trolling me
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> es mi texto se rompió o no, o se me acaba de Whitey curricán
<Whitey>  dude
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: we don't understand what you're saying, try rebooting
<Whitey>  I don't speak spanish
<Whitey>  does anyone speak spanish?
<tcg>  Whitey yeah
<Whitey>  what's it say tcg?
<tcg>  he's saying that his text is either broken or not / whether you're something
<tcg>  idk that verb
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: hola amigo
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  haha
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  he's gotta catch on now
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  you say that
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  amazing... is this real?
<vinyl>  hahahaha
<tcg>  hahhahahahah
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  are we living in a bash.org quote?
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  We good now?
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Estamos bien ahora?
<Whitey>  tcg: can you translate?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: no espaniol por favor
<tcg>  Odiumchild: tienes problemas con tú texto
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: what are you saying? have you rebooted your computer?
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) left IRC (Quit: ChatZilla)
PRIVMSG  <Whitey>  next up is esperanto translation
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  rofl
<tcg>  and he's gone
<diytto>  i know spanish
<Jelleh>  when he gets back, never respond to him, pretend you don't see his messages
<tcg>  Jelleh no, Whitey has an even better plan
<Whitey>  Jelleh: esperanto is next :P
<arborist|work>  lmao
<Whitey>  got google translate up and ready ;)
<Jelleh>  perfect
Odiumchild (odiumchild@irc.j08.168.104.IP) joined the channel
<Odiumchild>  Fuck it, we'll do it live
<Whitey>  <Odiumchild> Fuck ĝin, ni faros lin en vivas
<Whitey>  tcg: is that spanish still?
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  from PM:
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:50:53]  <Odiumchild>    are you guys trolling me or?
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:15]  <tcg>    what language are you even speaking in
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:17]  <tcg>    stop trolling
PRIVMSG  <tcg>  [22:51:17]  <tcg>    smh
<tcg>  Odiumchild what the fuck are you saying
<Whitey>  I don't recognise that
<tcg>  no Whitey that is definitely not spanish
<Whitey>  hold on Odiumchild, I'll pull up google translate
<Whitey>  fuck knows what you did to your router
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: vi havas la "packet loss"?
<Whitey>  oh shit
<Whitey>  anyone speak esperanto?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - vi devas fabrikon rekomencigita via router
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - Mi esperas ĉi tradukas bone, Mi uzas retan traduki provi kaj komuniki kun vi. Kontrolu vian QoS kaj via lingvo agordojn.
<tcg>  Whitey what the fuck are you even saying
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - Eble vi devus provi dd-respekto aŭ tomato
<canary>  its esperanto dood
<Whitey>  tcg: I'm google trnalsating esperanto back to him
<tcg>  ahhhh
<Whitey>  hoping it goes back so he can understand
<Whitey>  I'm assuming he can't read what we're writing here
<Odiumchild>  Now I know you guys are trolling me
<thegreattoad>  what language is that
<Odiumchild>  I hate you guys
<Jelleh>  Odiumchild: definitive provi rekomenci la router, ĝi ŝajnas kiel paketon perdo de Tiucele
<thegreattoad>  google says esperanto, i never heard of that
<oddbondboris>  i look up an i see esperanto
<Whitey>  Odiumchild - kiu min troll?
<tcg>  thegreattoad it's a fake language
<Jelleh>  he says troll?
<Whitey>  Odiumchild: I respect your choice for a universal language, but I think you should modify your router settings
<Odiumchild>  I feel so griefed
<Whitey>  I'll link you to the bash.org quote shortly ;)
<tcg>  kek
<diytto>  this guy Odiumchild
<diytto>  what a fucking guy
<Odiumchild>  I hate you guys so much
<Odiumchild>  Reported
Comment: Odiumchild switches on esperanto on his router
#301487* (?/52) ⚐Flag
saltydog: i told you
thero: you did?
saltydog: you said youd go if someone bought you a drink
thero: stop talking to me when im drunk
saltydog: that leaves a 5 minute window each day to talk to you
thero: thats not my problem
#301256* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<Sebas> So today's dinner is leftovers.
<Sebas> Problem is, being the greedy fucks we are, we ate all the food yesterday.
<Sebas> I'm not entirely sure how my mum plans to make dinner out of nothing.
#306670* (?/47) ⚐Flag
<Nae> for fuck's sake
<Nae> STOP SPOILING SHIT YOU DUCKS
<Nae> fuck
<CUM_quesa> heh
<Nae> i was going to write either dicks or fucks
Comment: #isharia
#302407* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Dustin> Me: "What can I get for you?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want a small popcorn, and don&#65533;t try to upsell me a medium!"
<Dustin> Me: "Can I interest you in a large then?"
<Dustin> Customer: "I want to speak to your manager."
Comment: #chatspike on irc.chatspike.net
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