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#311390* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<theblazehen> I should really learn perl sometime
<andrewlsd> ^ that's what he sed
#306632* (?/46) ⚐Flag
<Drag> In the US, you can say ass, and you can say hole
<Drag> but you absolutely cannot say "asshole"
<Drag> you will get bleeped
<Rena> what if you're referring to the hole an ass is in
<Rena> "that's the hole where we keep the asses. the ass hole."
<devin> at that point you are charged with animal cruelty for keeping livestock inside of a hole
<Rena> well maybe it's a very big hole
<Drag> It must've taken a lot of work to get the ass hole that big
#307260* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<HarryD> well shit
<HarryD> that girl that i went on a date with?
<B1naryth1ef> yes
<HarryD> wants to "head my log"
<B1naryth1ef> Why shit?
<HarryD> by log she meant penis
<HarryD> (i hope)
<B1naryth1ef> Or ya know, she has a lumberjack fetish
<cITs> why would she want to read old entries of your logfiles?
Comment: #anapnea
#304863* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<Hbomb> .seen zelse
<feepbot> Hbomb: I have last seen zelse 45 weeks, 3 days ago saying "well that was a disturbing mental image".
<Constie> It really bothered him a lot.
#302178* (?/92) ⚐Flag
<Ironholds> "Lady Almeria Braddock felt insulted by Mrs Elphinstone and challenged her to a duel in London's Hyde Park after their genteel conversation turned to the subject of Lady Almeria's true age. The ladies first exchanged pistol shots in which Lady Almeria's hat was damaged. They then continued with swords until Mrs. Elphinstone received a wound to her arm and agreed to write Lady Almeria an apology."
<Dragonfly6-7> "Please excuse the handwriting, as my arm was mutilated when some cow slashed at it with a sword."
#311330* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<G-Flex> a scammer just called my cell phone. Let's see where this goes
<G-Flex> lmao "Mr. Johnny Wilson"
<G-Flex> he's the "general manager"
<G-Flex> of the publisher's clearinghouse.
<G-Flex> I won a cherry red Mercedes! And a check for $1.5 Million!
<Shydow> lol
<Firestarter> Can I lend $5
<G-Flex> wow
<G-Flex> I tried playing along and he still thought I was messing with him
<G-Flex> he told me to get a pen and paper, and a few seconds later I was like, yeah, what do you want me to copy down
<Firestarter> Haha
<G-Flex> so he accused me of playing games because nobody could get a pen that fast!!!
<Sme> no one would ever answer their phone at their desk right
<Mrgary> what is notepad
<Keenan> I've always wanted to get one of those and flip it around.
<G-Flex> yeah I was like "I'm sitting at my computer, I can write down anything you want"
<Keenan> Be like "You know, it's a good thing you called. I'm Bob from Microsoft and your computer has a virus!"
<G-Flex> he wanted me to get a moneygram made out to a Kenneth Jones in Wichita, Kansas
<G-Flex> for $100
<G-Flex> so I could get a receipt, to show to the publisher's clearinghouse guys
<Sme> you should get right on that
<G-Flex> after a few more minutes I told him that it was nice I could waste that much of his time, and asked if there was any way I could possibly waste more of it
<Shydow> "Unfortunately, all my money is tied up right now. If you can advance me $100 right now, I could get access to my nigerian fortune"
<G-Flex> and that if he manages to scam anyone, it's probably going to be some old lady who doesn't know better, and that's kind of sad
<G-Flex> I love the idea that I'd have to send a $100 moneygram to someone in order to /claim/ over a million dollars.
<G-Flex> he hung up on me :(
<Keenan> I have a friend who is still sour with me because I didn't lend him money for that very same scam a few years back.
<G-Flex> the sad thing is, people fall for this stuff
<G-Flex> a customer of ours was talking to "Microsoft" who wanted her to pay them in iTunes gift cards.
<G-Flex> she bought the freaking cards before someone told her "yeah that's probably a scam"
#302958* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<Unosuke> how does one go about cureing insecurity?
<Holst_> I hate this approach but it's really true (in most cases): Face your fears Uno
<Unosuke> but i wanna fix myself BEFORE I actually do anything D:
<Holst_> That's what I hate about the approach
<mark> Unosuke: there's also watering your scrotum till you grow a pair.
#302352* (?/9) ⚐Flag
lonestarnorth: so i had lunch at the mall today
lonestarnorth: i like to do that on mondays so i don't have to make my own lunch, ie can sleep in
lonestarnorth: and i was walking back
lonestarnorth: now, picture a guy 20 something years old
lonestarnorth: walking ahead of you
lonestarnorth: say he was walking past a store window
lonestarnorth: and suddenly he noticed there were BOOBS in that store window
lonestarnorth just as he was passing
lonestarnorth: imagine the look he would make
Scaramouche: heh, okay.
lonestarnorth: i saw an old guy do that
Scaramouche: LOL
lonestarnorth: but for a sale on sweater vests
lonestarnorth: not boobs
Scaramouche: ...
lonestarnorth: i guess your priorities really do change when you get older
#308361* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Jeck> That's pretty much the opposite of my opinion. There's a time and a place for drugs, but a situation where you might die if you're not smart/careful enough is not one.
<Jeck> I might be biased, too. The time I had pot I had such an extreme reaction I hallucinated choirs of angels singing death metal while I shivered and threw up on a bathroom floor.
#303699* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<William> i just find it strange how life is so much about spending money now on the chance of saving money later
<William> we insure everything
<William> i have three kinds of home owner's insurange: one to protect me if i lose my job, one to protect the bank if i lose my job, and one to protect me if someone gets hurt on my property
<William> same thing for cars
<William> also life insurance
<William> health, dental, vision
<William> it's crazy
<William> at some point in order to break even, i'm going to have to start injuring myself on purpose ;-)
#308129* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> seatbelts and hard nipples don't mix
#296885* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK!
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK TEH INTERNET!!!
<Uuxaul> What is the internet doing?
<Raine Sabaal> I get a LOADING INDICATOR while sending messages on my INSTANT MESSENGER!
<Raine Sabaal> THAT'S NOT HOW INSTANT WORKS!
#311092* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<DrBadAss>Lessee... the Republican party is in disarray, divided by an offshoot reactionary group, spearheaded by men who pander to the least common denominator and say and do the most ridiculous things imaginable, directly flaunting the Constitution, and proving on a daily basis they're incapable of compromise, and that their only goal is to take down their opponent at the expense of the country's welfare and proper operation.
<DrBadAss>  We Democrats have a CLEAR shot at this.  It's going to be really interesting to see how we go about f#@%ing it up.
#311643* (?/42) ⚐Flag
[RjxLAPTOP] i audio taped my shroom experience
[RjxLAPTOP] but when we played the tape back later
[RjxLAPTOP] it was just me saying "
[RjxLAPTOP] er
[RjxLAPTOP] "dude, we should eat THERE"
[RjxLAPTOP] everywhere we went
[RjxLAPTOP] like, every few minutes
<thc\ip> haha
Comment: #orkut EFNET
#311649* (?/41) ⚐Flag
<alecxe> should i keep declaring chocolate as "food" when bringing it into the US?
[...]
<david> Chocolate, being a thing eaten by humans, is indeed "food."
#301546* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<%Noxy> Then again, it's not like the USA NEEDS people to be enemies. They can go to war with concepts.
#304362* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<Dr_BadSpoon> the internet's best and worst attribute? it gives EVERYONE a voice
* Spawn sets mode -v #dynasty Dr_BadSpoon
#302214* (?/82) ⚐Flag
<@CaptainJistuce> I've noticed several J covers are very minimal and subdued while the US covers are an explosion of color.
<Drakkar> thats because americans have ADHD
<Drakkar> also AD&D
<@CaptainJistuce> AD&HD? That could be the most disastrous tabletop game ev- oooh, shiny!
#302064* (?/91) ⚐Flag
<slywolf99> i got one. whats worse than a baby in a bucket?
<zenthan> ?
<slywolf99> a baby in two buckets
<zenthan> your not allowed near my child ever
#305729* (?/77) ⚐Flag
< dobber> A TCP packet walks in to a bar and says "I want a beer", barman says "you want a beer?", and the TCP packet says "yes, a beer"
#304712* (?/63) ⚐Flag
<@Snow_Bass> The three main causes of car accidents: Speeding, texting, and turtle shells
#307350* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<MostAwesomeDude> Here's an easy guide: How to tell if it's a bug?
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in Minecraft Wiki under Trivia, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in a changelog as a -feature instead of a +feature, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's not listed in a changelog, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If Notch tweets about it more than once, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> Hopefully this clears some things up.
<electronicsRules> MostAwesomeDude: By your last statement, *minecraft* *itself* is a bug
<MostAwesomeDude> electronicsRules: Well, yes.
<MostAwesomeDude> Don't tell anybody though.
Comment: #mcdevs on freenode
#303285* (?/44) ⚐Flag
< Andys> oh dear
< Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon
< Andys> eg.   :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"
#301271* (?/59) ⚐Flag
cetileve: you know what sucks about believing in an afterlife?
cetileve: they always teach you that your loved ones are always watching you
cetileve: and it fucking creeps me out to think that my grandmother is looking down from heaven watching me get ready to fap to catgirl hentai
Queue: ...WHY do you people always seem to tell me when you're about to indulge in said activity?
Queue: What makes you and Sarin and Evelyn think that I want to know?
Queue: What's wrong with brb?
Queue: How would you like it if I randomly told you at any one point what erotic image I'm pawing off to?
cetileve: I'd probably fap to that too
cetileve: shit, you just made me hard, brb
cetileve: BETTER?
#144407* (?/39) ⚐Flag
Buy cheap clarinex , discount generic clarinexComment: Buy cheap clarinex , discount generic clarinex
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