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#302032* (?/93) ⚐Flag
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISH
Comment: My first day on IRC
#305297* (?/50) ⚐Flag
<roverbat> I live near an old nuclear reactor
<roverbat> there's nothing wrong with me
<iva|phone> roverbat, how do you explain your wings then?
<roverbat> they go up and down, iva|phone
#308361* (?/25) ⚐Flag
<Jeck> That's pretty much the opposite of my opinion. There's a time and a place for drugs, but a situation where you might die if you're not smart/careful enough is not one.
<Jeck> I might be biased, too. The time I had pot I had such an extreme reaction I hallucinated choirs of angels singing death metal while I shivered and threw up on a bathroom floor.
#303699* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<William> i just find it strange how life is so much about spending money now on the chance of saving money later
<William> we insure everything
<William> i have three kinds of home owner's insurange: one to protect me if i lose my job, one to protect the bank if i lose my job, and one to protect me if someone gets hurt on my property
<William> same thing for cars
<William> also life insurance
<William> health, dental, vision
<William> it's crazy
<William> at some point in order to break even, i'm going to have to start injuring myself on purpose ;-)
#308129* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> seatbelts and hard nipples don't mix
#296885* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK!
<Raine Sabaal> FUCK TEH INTERNET!!!
<Uuxaul> What is the internet doing?
<Raine Sabaal> I get a LOADING INDICATOR while sending messages on my INSTANT MESSENGER!
#311390* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<theblazehen> I should really learn perl sometime
<andrewlsd> ^ that's what he sed
#311449* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<GiMP> pffft you guys couldn't have this
<Talgie> you're already hard to want, you don't need to play hard to get
#308131* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<SnortnSnowflakes> getting on the plane
<SnortnSnowflakes> and blowing that
<SnortnSnowflakes> thing
<SnortnSnowflakes> up
<dippingsauce> oh thats way different than my master plan
<SnortnSnowflakes> well
<SnortnSnowflakes> you'd be doing all the blowing
<SnortnSnowflakes> so
<SnortnSnowflakes> it's not too different from your plan
<dippingsauce> naw im going to just hijack it and land it safely and then over the intercom yell MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIM FOR LIFE BITCHES then bounce out before the police come
#301546* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<%Noxy> Then again, it's not like the USA NEEDS people to be enemies. They can go to war with concepts.
#304362* (?/59) ⚐Flag
<Dr_BadSpoon> the internet's best and worst attribute? it gives EVERYONE a voice
* Spawn sets mode -v #dynasty Dr_BadSpoon
#302214* (?/82) ⚐Flag
<@CaptainJistuce> I've noticed several J covers are very minimal and subdued while the US covers are an explosion of color.
<Drakkar> thats because americans have ADHD
<Drakkar> also AD&D
<@CaptainJistuce> AD&HD? That could be the most disastrous tabletop game ev- oooh, shiny!
#302064* (?/91) ⚐Flag
<slywolf99> i got one. whats worse than a baby in a bucket?
<zenthan> ?
<slywolf99> a baby in two buckets
<zenthan> your not allowed near my child ever
#305729* (?/77) ⚐Flag
< dobber> A TCP packet walks in to a bar and says "I want a beer", barman says "you want a beer?", and the TCP packet says "yes, a beer"
#304712* (?/63) ⚐Flag
<@Snow_Bass> The three main causes of car accidents: Speeding, texting, and turtle shells
#307350* (?/44) ⚐Flag
<MostAwesomeDude> Here's an easy guide: How to tell if it's a bug?
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in Minecraft Wiki under Trivia, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in a changelog as a -feature instead of a +feature, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's not listed in a changelog, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If Notch tweets about it more than once, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> Hopefully this clears some things up.
<electronicsRules> MostAwesomeDude: By your last statement, *minecraft* *itself* is a bug
<MostAwesomeDude> electronicsRules: Well, yes.
<MostAwesomeDude> Don't tell anybody though.
Comment: #mcdevs on freenode
#303285* (?/44) ⚐Flag
< Andys> oh dear
< Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon
< Andys> eg.   :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex"
#301271* (?/58) ⚐Flag
cetileve: you know what sucks about believing in an afterlife?
cetileve: they always teach you that your loved ones are always watching you
cetileve: and it fucking creeps me out to think that my grandmother is looking down from heaven watching me get ready to fap to catgirl hentai
Queue: ...WHY do you people always seem to tell me when you're about to indulge in said activity?
Queue: What makes you and Sarin and Evelyn think that I want to know?
Queue: What's wrong with brb?
Queue: How would you like it if I randomly told you at any one point what erotic image I'm pawing off to?
cetileve: I'd probably fap to that too
cetileve: shit, you just made me hard, brb
cetileve: BETTER?
#144407* (?/39) ⚐Flag
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#304684* (?/53) ⚐Flag
<BrokenHaiku> No but my former neighbours had a lot of sex, which was evident from her yelling. We have pretty thick walls though so often I only hear hear vagely when it's quiet at night...
<BrokenHaiku> And so one night I heard her and it sounded pretty hot so I thought I'd get in on some parallel action so to speak.
<BrokenHaiku> And just when I'm hot and going her screaming gets louder
<BrokenHaiku> And I suddenly realise...it's not her.
<BrokenHaiku> It's her baby crying.
#307708* (?/53) ⚐Flag
* rycuda has just been offered an amp
<@Al> After being given a shock like that it's wise to have a coulomb-down period
<@mgsts> I'm trying to decide watt a suitable punishment for these awful puns is
<@OneCruelBagel> mgsts: it's not his volt, he has troubles at ohm.
<@OneCruelBagel> We should let him have some peace faraday.
#306976* (?/34) ⚐Flag
< Sexyboss> phillipsjk wears tinfoil hats
< phillipsjk> Plastic actually.
< phillipsjk> Tinfoil reflects too much and lets them know where you are :)
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