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#310973* (?/20) ⚐Flag
<BtbN> I never broke anything so far. Except for my right small toe. That one i broke like 3 times on the same door.
<NanoSector> Lol
<mathieui> you must really dislike that door
<NanoSector> Or the door must really dislike him
<BtbN> I disliked it so much I moved out
#311395* (?/34) ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#306739* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Vivisector> Enlightenment++
<Vivisector> Do like, A+++++++ would reconfigure for hours again
<echoed> what?
<Vivisector> Enlightenment window manager
<echoed> 16 or 17?
<Vivisector> 16.999
<Vivisector> no i'm not trolling
<Vivisector> that's the actual version number
#308078* (?/27) ⚐Flag
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then.
#310412* (?/27) ⚐Flag
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore.  The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful.  IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly.  Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have  to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup.  WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.
Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
#311205* (?/12) ⚐Flag
17:43:59 <GenteelBen> Ugh I can't find the photo.
17:44:07 <GenteelBen> The ONE TIME I look for gay porn and I can't find it.
Comment: ##chat on freenode
#310495* (?/12) ⚐Flag
<apo_> My parents wanted to see how well google now (that android voice recognition thing) worked, so I told it to show me pictures of Nussschnecken (some nutty pastry), and it interpreted that is "Muschi lecken" (pussy licking) ~_~
#306781* (?/33) ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> I keep getting dates FARRR into BCE... Unless the cavemen formatted their paintings as JPEG, I'm pretty sure that is wrong -_-'Comment: #On decoding EXIF tags.
#309334* (?/26) ⚐Flag
(Duck) kim: You're from Toronto, aren't you.
(Duck) Aren't you, kim.
<-- Quits: kim [Ping timeout: 186 seconds]
--> Joins: [kim_ (~IRIS@mwf-644-222-71-528.tor.primus.ca) to #ext3]
(kim_) Now none of you can see where I live. The screen has been cleared. :3
-!- kim_ has changed nicknames to kim
(Doc) just because you clear your screen doesn't mean other screens get cleared. some people even have logs
(kim) Why wasn't I informed of this. D:
#308074* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> grrr network hiccup
<ENKI-][> you should hold your breath while drinking jolt and whistling the 2600Hz tone in order to get rid of network hiccups
#309636* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<@Jano> Last time I ordered pizza the delivery chick got stuck in the elevator for an hour.
<@Jano> And when she got out she told me she didn't have my pizza.
<@Jano> It was great.
<@Lorkki> did she eat it
<@Jano> No. She just didn't have it. She had the wrong stuff.
<@Jano> They hadn't even made it.
#297622* (?/26) ⚐Flag
Bot190: Firefox is complaining that opening 17 tabs might slow it down
Warchamp7: I have 25+ tabs open most of the time
Warchamp7: My Firefox doesn't complain
Warchamp7: It doesn't say a thing
Warchamp7: And it when it crashes, it apologizes
Warchamp7: That's how a browser should be
#309049* (?/19) ⚐Flag
(a conversation started about somebody who discovered that his wife was having an affair with an employee of his, in an IT workplace)
[starbuck] i wanna respond with something like "make your wife private"
[fever] if she's a hipster tell him to make her abstract
[starbuck] he's not a hipster definitely
[starbuck] he's someone's superior
[starbuck] i guess he can have the final word
[fever] well he can't keep working like this... he needs a static work environment
[starbuck] i think he should handle it with class
[fever] //to-do: something with a code pun
[fever] nothing comes to mind right now
[starbuck] do you think that if he forgives her she will return?
[fever] i don't know, maybe he sees women as objects
[starbuck] i wonder why she cheated on him
[starbuck] maybe he's not her type
[fever] true, maybe she just made an exception by dating him in the first place
[fever] dude
[fever] i told vangelis and he asked
[fever] "did he catch them on the act?"
[starbuck] if he had, it could have ended with double penetration
[fever] i think that's out of bounds
[starbuck] you think she's not sexually attracted to her husband anymore?
[starbuck] perhaps
[starbuck] perhaps she has the employee for sex and the husband is just a good listener
[fever] oh god
[fever] that was awesome
[fever] the setup
[fever] the finishing line
[fever] good work dude
[starbuck] we're horrible
[starbuck] we're laughing at his expense
[starbuck] that poor guy must feel a terrible void
[fever] well he went and made his problem public, you can't blame us
[starbuck] that's true
[starbuck] i just hope they had protected sex
[fever] should we just ask him later for an update?
[fever] or maybe he should just fuck other women to get it out of his system
[starbuck] i don't know if i agree
[starbuck] these things usually need a very specific method
[fever] true, there are many variables to take into consideration
[starbuck] exactly
[starbuck] for starters, an issue like this easily extends into the workplace
[fever] i might be out of puns for the moment
[starbuck] so it has come to this
[starbuck] this is what it looks like
[fever] super(yes)
[starbuck] damn
[starbuck] how do you think it all happened anyway?
[starbuck] how did they even meet?
[starbuck] perhaps she came to the husband's workplace wearing only a string?
[fever] fuck
[fever] SOMETHING WITH INTEGER
[starbuck] ah, i don't know about that
[starbuck] considering she left her husband who's the boss for a mere employee
[starbuck] i'd say we are dealing with a long
[fever] maybe he just needs a new wife
[fever] //so simple... why didn't i think of this before
[starbuck] but i'm curious
[starbuck] does the other guy have a long penis?
[starbuck] or a sixpack?
[starbuck] or is he smart?
[starbuck] or maybe he has all of the above
[starbuck] maybe he has the whole package
[fever] well maybe it's good
[fever] maybe they should take a break
[starbuck] oh nice
[starbuck] i didn't expect that
[starbuck] i don't think i can handle it
[fever] you should try at least
[starbuck] i am
[starbuck] but i'm afraid my puns are becoming too generic
[fever] and i think i'm using the same ones over and over
[fever] we're in a loop
[starbuck] true
#310940* (?/19) ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> We should invent a product that's like spray paint for kids
<@TheGiz> I don't know what that product would be, but I can hear the announcero n the commercial saying "It's like spray paint... for kids!"
<Nathan_Tanuki> Water-washable spray paint
<Feenicks> So... non-toxic and water-soluble?
<Nathan_Tanuki> Non-toxic might be going a little far ;)
<@TheGiz> I was going to say I won't sign off on water soluble
<Bob_the_Hamster> The dirt just slides off! I hardly ever have to bathe them anymore, and when I do it is a quick splash with the garden hose, Child Lacquer (TM) has changed my life!
<@TheGiz> hahahah
<Nathan_Tanuki> Haha
<Bob_the_Hamster> Now available in a whole rainbow of colors, or original transparent
<Bob_the_Hamster> It's like spray paint.... for kids!
<Feenicks> What happens if you put it on when they're still a bit dirty, though?
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "Why are the children green!? What did you do?"
<@TheGiz> Happy St. Patricks day?
<Bob_the_Hamster> Me: "Isn't it great?" (splashes a cup of grape juice into infant's face) "See? everything slides right off!"
<@TheGiz> hahah
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "This is going in the deposition"
#302962* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<sunabozu> ZAON MY BOY
<sunabozu> HOW ARE YOU?!
<zaon> QUITE WELL SIR, QUITE WELL INDEED
<zaon> JUST GOT MY NADS SNIPPED
<zaon> BASKING IN THE GLORY OF NOT WORRYING ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN
<sunabozu> wat
#309364* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<Tak> Also there was this little fat kid
<Tak> who was in there for his first time
<Tak> and he sits down in the holding cell
<Tak> and asks the guy next to him, "is it really as bad in here as they show on TV?"
<Tak> and everyone in the room just stopped talking and looked at him
<Tak> I have NEVER seen anyone hazed so badly
<Tak> Within 10 minutes, they had him believing he was gonna get raped.
<Tak> He only moved around the room with his back against the wall.
<Tak> There was this old junkie in there named Chuck, who just looks like a total rapist, and they told him that chuck likes little white boys.
<Tak> and Chuck is just eying him up and down, then the guy telling him all this shit is telling the kid he will protect him and shit.
<Tak> so he tells the kid to "come here"
<Tak> and the kid just skootches across the floor on his butt toward the guy
<Tak> and everyone just starts laughing so hard
Comment: Protip: Tak just got out of jail. irc.rubbermallet.org #wtfpwnt
#310165* (?/31) ⚐Flag
<Taneb> Question:
<Taneb> What's a dew point?
<boily> it's the temperature an object needs to be for condensation to appear.
<pikhq> Temperature at which water vapor in the air condenses into liquid water.
<pikhq> i.e. the temperature at which dew forms.
<Taneb> OK
<Taneb> Doesn't look like there'll be a dew today, then
<boily> I mean, it's all according to current conditions. you always need to chill that object down from ambient temperature for dew to appear.
<boily> (or, be in the morning, as in, like, you know, regular dew.)
<oerjan> if the dewpoint is higher than the temperature, you're having a flood hth
<pikhq> Yes. If the dewpoint is higher than the ambient temperature it means the air is actually water.
#310962* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<jokester> >i wanna run long distances
<jokester> >i don't want long workouts
<jokester> pick one, stupid
<jokester> running long distances takes a long time
<VeggieEater> not if you do it really fast
<jokester> ok
<jokester> thanks veggie
Comment: #bodyweightfitness on irc.snoonet.org
#310893* (?/11) ⚐Flag
xxx:My younger brother called me a child demoversion;_;
yyy:What do you expect from a backup copy?
Comment: siblings
#302809* (?/11) ⚐Flag
Foxhound: So, you're 18. You can do everything now.
Foxhound: Even drink, which I can't legally do yet.
Foxhound: Stupid US and it's culture of drinking til you can't stand up.
Foxhound: I blame our English/Irish heritage.
Foxhound: I mean, in Ireland, you can farm, drink, and occasionally shoot at the Catholics/Protestants. Not much else to do there. England is much the same, minus the religious strife, plus the soccer hooligans.
#302821* (?/11) ⚐Flag
<noka>How is to Hentai AMV coming?
<gizz>:(
<noka>what happend
<gizz>his part failed
<gizz> so no i'm working on both
<noka> ok let me recap
<noka>You where both doing it together
<noka>Then his part failed
<noka>And now you have to finish yourself?
<gizz>Yes :P
Comment: :P
#311026* (?/11) ⚐Flag
<early90spants> someone's playing the worst fucking music on our office speakers
<Dixioli> cowboy christmas?
<early90spants> first it was a song from that fucking linkin park jay-z bullshit and now they're playing the thong song
<Dixioli> or worse
<Dixioli> oh boy
<early90spants> i'm in hell
<early90spants> i'm just gonna leave 20 minutes early, i can't take this shit. i'm out
<early90spants> NOW THEY'RE PLAYING CREED
<early90spants> i just sent an email to HR
<H> "Dear HR.  This music sucks.  I'm going home.  Mail me my paycheck.  ~Signed: Pants."
#310580* (?/3) ⚐Flag
bagataroni: so Mitchist what is this concrete slab for
Mitchist: we're putting a carport on top of it
bagataroni: i see
bagataroni: the plot thickens
bagataroni: what is this carport for?
Mitchist: you wouldn't think it but
Mitchist: cars
rooter: no way
#310615* (?/3) ⚐Flag
<+toordog> omg, I cannot stand working with a developer who takes 1 hour
to do a 30 second task...
<+bsdwolf> he's probably on IRC
#310618* (?/3) ⚐Flag
(antomatic) Official SonyMicrosofTendo Policy On Video Game Preservation:
(antomatic) "Well, y'see... we kind of already /have/ your money?"
(antomatic) "And running servers is so hard."
(antomatic) "So very hard."
(antomatic) [End Statement]
(midas) 'Bye!'
(antomatic) 'Enjoy those consoles we sold you!'
(@raylee) at least piracy helps with archival of some of the game libraries. so if, say, the original wii shop channel servers were taken down, much of the content there would be available online
(antomatic) In 2000 years time, scholars will look back and speculate as to why so many internationally successful software titles from numerous disparate producers all bore the common insignia "Cracked by Honktronics"
Comment: EFnet #archiveteam
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