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#307801* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<Drazhar> someone help me
<Drazhar> because I think I went insane
<Drazhar> I found something that I agree with Glenn Beck on
<Malware> Drazhar
<Malware> You are undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Drazhar> The radio talk-show host says George Lucas should be "tried for movie crimes" not only for what he has done to a beloved franchise, but also for producing "Red Tails."
<Drazhar> George HAS fucked up Star Wars big time
<Malware> Now we are both undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Malware> Because now I agree with Glenn Beck.
#311395* (?/40) ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#311454* (?/23) ⚐Flag
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
<Oddish> .....
#311589* (?/4) ⚐Flag
<cuisir> Ever eat gravy?
<cuisir> Or drink
<tincan> yes, i drink only coffee
<tincan> never had water in my life
<MurkyBanana> coffee has water in it
<cuisir> Gravy
<cuisir> Not coffee or water
<cuisir> Flour and grease, I think
-*- genii immediately gets the coffee gravy to go
<MurkyBanana> hmm.. coffee gravy
<genii> Might be good to try at Thanksgiving, offset the tryptophan
<MurkyBanana> brilliant!
Comment: freenode
#310618* (?/4) ⚐Flag
(antomatic) Official SonyMicrosofTendo Policy On Video Game Preservation:
(antomatic) "Well, y'see... we kind of already /have/ your money?"
(antomatic) "And running servers is so hard."
(antomatic) "So very hard."
(antomatic) [End Statement]
(midas) 'Bye!'
(antomatic) 'Enjoy those consoles we sold you!'
(@raylee) at least piracy helps with archival of some of the game libraries. so if, say, the original wii shop channel servers were taken down, much of the content there would be available online
(antomatic) In 2000 years time, scholars will look back and speculate as to why so many internationally successful software titles from numerous disparate producers all bore the common insignia "Cracked by Honktronics"
Comment: EFnet #archiveteam
#310631* (?/4) ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> So in Civil War re-enactment school I was voted most likely to secede.
#310720* (?/4) ⚐Flag
<@swight> job cuts were announced locally, I guess everyone in the building went to google to check the news, google is now asking random people to prove they aren't a robot
<@swight> all 3 buildings are a single IP to the outside world
<@swight> I'd guess about 4000 computers
#310723* (?/4) ⚐Flag
<_Aur|lap_> FUCK I hate curves
<ShaneC> hey hey
<ShaneC> real games have curves
<MattTS_> no comment :)
<_Aur|lap_> I hate doing any code with them
<_Aur|lap_> but.. I still need to
<_Aur|lap_> so I'll just further lose sanity and truck on
<ShaneC> sanity is overrated
<graphitem> _Aur|lap_, solution, art direction involving 45 and 90 degree angles only
<graphitem> 45 and 90 are like the ascii of angles
<graphitem> all those other angles are unicode.
<nimitz> haha
<_Aur|lap_> lol
Comment: game development
#311087* (?/22) ⚐Flag
<syn> what in the actual fuck, our new oven just played 'Joy to the World'
<Mintzs> Best oven
<syn> why do so many modern appliances play music
<Mintzs> JOY TO THE WORLD
<Mintzs> YOUR BUNS ARE BAKED
#310326* (?/45) ⚐Flag
< Spengo> so
< Spengo> I met up with one of my transgender friends who I haven't seen in forever
< Spengo> had a child
< Spengo> now he's transparent
< ryantmer> Somewhere, a drummer did a rimshot, and they have no idea why
< xmc> so technically you still haven't seen him
< ryantmer> Ha!
#309014* (?/29) ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I find it somewhat terrible that after taking 8 years of german, plus studying on my own time now that I'm out of school, I still make completely awful jokes that revolve around replacing as many words in a sentence with Ach as possible...
<cjk> It's fine. After spending 25 years here growing up, whenever you do it on skype, I'm never entirely sure if you're speaking gibberish, or just a dialect I'm not familiar at all with.
<cjk> ...which kind of makes me sad at my own language.
#310940* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> We should invent a product that's like spray paint for kids
<@TheGiz> I don't know what that product would be, but I can hear the announcero n the commercial saying "It's like spray paint... for kids!"
<Nathan_Tanuki> Water-washable spray paint
<Feenicks> So... non-toxic and water-soluble?
<Nathan_Tanuki> Non-toxic might be going a little far ;)
<@TheGiz> I was going to say I won't sign off on water soluble
<Bob_the_Hamster> The dirt just slides off! I hardly ever have to bathe them anymore, and when I do it is a quick splash with the garden hose, Child Lacquer (TM) has changed my life!
<@TheGiz> hahahah
<Nathan_Tanuki> Haha
<Bob_the_Hamster> Now available in a whole rainbow of colors, or original transparent
<Bob_the_Hamster> It's like spray paint.... for kids!
<Feenicks> What happens if you put it on when they're still a bit dirty, though?
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "Why are the children green!? What did you do?"
<@TheGiz> Happy St. Patricks day?
<Bob_the_Hamster> Me: "Isn't it great?" (splashes a cup of grape juice into infant's face) "See? everything slides right off!"
<@TheGiz> hahah
<Bob_the_Hamster> My Wife: "This is going in the deposition"
#310973* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<BtbN> I never broke anything so far. Except for my right small toe. That one i broke like 3 times on the same door.
<NanoSector> Lol
<mathieui> you must really dislike that door
<NanoSector> Or the door must really dislike him
<BtbN> I disliked it so much I moved out
#310495* (?/13) ⚐Flag
<apo_> My parents wanted to see how well google now (that android voice recognition thing) worked, so I told it to show me pictures of Nussschnecken (some nutty pastry), and it interpreted that is "Muschi lecken" (pussy licking) ~_~
#309660* (?/35) ⚐Flag
<Mootp> got a cunt load of physics questions if anyones interested :D
<toastydeath> most vaginas are about 4" deep related and can accommodate 1.5" or so in diameter without much pain
<toastydeath> so you have about 28" cubic inches of questions
#306739* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<Vivisector> Enlightenment++
<Vivisector> Do like, A+++++++ would reconfigure for hours again
<echoed> what?
<Vivisector> Enlightenment window manager
<echoed> 16 or 17?
<Vivisector> 16.999
<Vivisector> no i'm not trolling
<Vivisector> that's the actual version number
#308078* (?/27) ⚐Flag
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then.
#310893* (?/12) ⚐Flag
xxx:My younger brother called me a child demoversion;_;
yyy:What do you expect from a backup copy?
Comment: siblings
#311026* (?/12) ⚐Flag
<early90spants> someone's playing the worst fucking music on our office speakers
<Dixioli> cowboy christmas?
<early90spants> first it was a song from that fucking linkin park jay-z bullshit and now they're playing the thong song
<Dixioli> or worse
<Dixioli> oh boy
<early90spants> i'm in hell
<early90spants> i'm just gonna leave 20 minutes early, i can't take this shit. i'm out
<early90spants> NOW THEY'RE PLAYING CREED
<early90spants> i just sent an email to HR
<H> "Dear HR.  This music sucks.  I'm going home.  Mail me my paycheck.  ~Signed: Pants."
#309334* (?/26) ⚐Flag
(Duck) kim: You're from Toronto, aren't you.
(Duck) Aren't you, kim.
<-- Quits: kim [Ping timeout: 186 seconds]
--> Joins: [kim_ (~IRIS@mwf-644-222-71-528.tor.primus.ca) to #ext3]
(kim_) Now none of you can see where I live. The screen has been cleared. :3
-!- kim_ has changed nicknames to kim
(Doc) just because you clear your screen doesn't mean other screens get cleared. some people even have logs
(kim) Why wasn't I informed of this. D:
#308074* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> grrr network hiccup
<ENKI-][> you should hold your breath while drinking jolt and whistling the 2600Hz tone in order to get rid of network hiccups
#297622* (?/26) ⚐Flag
Bot190: Firefox is complaining that opening 17 tabs might slow it down
Warchamp7: I have 25+ tabs open most of the time
Warchamp7: My Firefox doesn't complain
Warchamp7: It doesn't say a thing
Warchamp7: And it when it crashes, it apologizes
Warchamp7: That's how a browser should be
#309049* (?/19) ⚐Flag
(a conversation started about somebody who discovered that his wife was having an affair with an employee of his, in an IT workplace)
[starbuck] i wanna respond with something like "make your wife private"
[fever] if she's a hipster tell him to make her abstract
[starbuck] he's not a hipster definitely
[starbuck] he's someone's superior
[starbuck] i guess he can have the final word
[fever] well he can't keep working like this... he needs a static work environment
[starbuck] i think he should handle it with class
[fever] //to-do: something with a code pun
[fever] nothing comes to mind right now
[starbuck] do you think that if he forgives her she will return?
[fever] i don't know, maybe he sees women as objects
[starbuck] i wonder why she cheated on him
[starbuck] maybe he's not her type
[fever] true, maybe she just made an exception by dating him in the first place
[fever] dude
[fever] i told vangelis and he asked
[fever] "did he catch them on the act?"
[starbuck] if he had, it could have ended with double penetration
[fever] i think that's out of bounds
[starbuck] you think she's not sexually attracted to her husband anymore?
[starbuck] perhaps
[starbuck] perhaps she has the employee for sex and the husband is just a good listener
[fever] oh god
[fever] that was awesome
[fever] the setup
[fever] the finishing line
[fever] good work dude
[starbuck] we're horrible
[starbuck] we're laughing at his expense
[starbuck] that poor guy must feel a terrible void
[fever] well he went and made his problem public, you can't blame us
[starbuck] that's true
[starbuck] i just hope they had protected sex
[fever] should we just ask him later for an update?
[fever] or maybe he should just fuck other women to get it out of his system
[starbuck] i don't know if i agree
[starbuck] these things usually need a very specific method
[fever] true, there are many variables to take into consideration
[starbuck] exactly
[starbuck] for starters, an issue like this easily extends into the workplace
[fever] i might be out of puns for the moment
[starbuck] so it has come to this
[starbuck] this is what it looks like
[fever] super(yes)
[starbuck] damn
[starbuck] how do you think it all happened anyway?
[starbuck] how did they even meet?
[starbuck] perhaps she came to the husband's workplace wearing only a string?
[fever] fuck
[fever] SOMETHING WITH INTEGER
[starbuck] ah, i don't know about that
[starbuck] considering she left her husband who's the boss for a mere employee
[starbuck] i'd say we are dealing with a long
[fever] maybe he just needs a new wife
[fever] //so simple... why didn't i think of this before
[starbuck] but i'm curious
[starbuck] does the other guy have a long penis?
[starbuck] or a sixpack?
[starbuck] or is he smart?
[starbuck] or maybe he has all of the above
[starbuck] maybe he has the whole package
[fever] well maybe it's good
[fever] maybe they should take a break
[starbuck] oh nice
[starbuck] i didn't expect that
[starbuck] i don't think i can handle it
[fever] you should try at least
[starbuck] i am
[starbuck] but i'm afraid my puns are becoming too generic
[fever] and i think i'm using the same ones over and over
[fever] we're in a loop
[starbuck] true
#311357* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<netham45> Bash.org is offline
<netham45> But it responds to SSH.
<netham45> I tried to log into their SSH as 'ERROR CRITICAL BASH.ORG IS DOWN' in hopes their log management system picks up on the keywords.
#302962* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<sunabozu> ZAON MY BOY
<sunabozu> HOW ARE YOU?!
<zaon> QUITE WELL SIR, QUITE WELL INDEED
<zaon> JUST GOT MY NADS SNIPPED
<zaon> BASKING IN THE GLORY OF NOT WORRYING ABOUT HAVING CHILDREN
<sunabozu> wat
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