|
AllBestWeekMonthRandom<Prev1..271272273274275276277..311Next> |
#295848* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Apophis> You know the Beatles song Come Together?
<Apophis> It proves I'm a nerd
<Apophis> It was on the radio the other day and when it got to the line "He say one and one and one is three"
<Apophis> And I was thinking, "or it could be seven... or 1 AND 1 AND 1 AND is 1" |
#295847* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@zakalwe> you fucking faggots and your exercise plans. if you sit on the internet eating pies and masterbating you will be a god damn sexual tyrannosaurus like me. |
#295846* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<itilayu> yess irc good
<MoonWirelessG> yes irc good, but sometimes irc users are bad so we get rid of them
<itilayu> shell for porn good
<MoonWirelessG> not here it isn't
* Gazbun just wait and see...
<Gazbun> lol
<[BeNjY]> ¦
<itilayu> shell for fuck n sex good u know
<[BeNjY]> ... |
#295845* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< zashi> I'm bored. I just shoved an M&M up my nose. Then ate it.
< zashi> I'm 21 and at work.
< nicolas> zashi: tasty ?
<+Ox40> ... eeew
<@benryves> 21 going on 5?
< Damakaru> The fuck?
< nicolas> it's good for his immune system!
* benryves passes Damakaru a "what".
< zashi> you go crazy sitting here reading various web pages
< zashi> wishing your nose could hold more M&Ms |
#295841* (?/44) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@G> RichardBLand: just create a blog dammit and moan about stuff there :)
< RichardBLand> lol you guys won't read it then
<@G> RichardBLand: what makes you think we read what you say anyway? :)
< RichardBLand> oh because you always ban me
< RichardBLand> and people think that im a dick
< RichardBLand> and stupid
< RichardBLand> did you know that most my dreams are of people thinking im stupid / different
< RichardBLand> same when it comes to girls... i dream about them, but they just reject me
<@arbscht> shit, I was rejected by stephen fry in my dream the other day
<@arbscht> but it wasn't really stephen fry
<@arbscht> I don't know who it was |
#295839* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
****never use a webbroswer irc addon****
|<-- roflcopter has left irc.rizon.net (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Hatsuyuki> omfg
<Hatsuyuki> google crashed my firefox
<Hatsuyuki> wtf
<rocker2344> and you have a second irc how?
<Hatsuyuki> my bot, i cant install 2 mirc. the new one gets rid of the old one |
#295837* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Surt: the laptop dont got internet out there though
Anton: evidently you need a longer ethernet cable
Surt: I do, but i wouldn't know where to buy one in this country..
Surt: I would, incidentally know, where to get hookers(not that i have..) |
#295836* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
[18:09] <SerasTheImmortal> !ping
[18:09] <SerasTheImmortal> ...
[18:10] <SerasTheImmortal> anytime now
[18:10] <SerasTheImmortal> ahem...
[18:10] <SerasTheImmortal> i said
[18:10] <SerasTheImmortal> !ping
[18:10] <@Zael> SerasTheImmortal, your ping is 0.407 seconds.
[18:10] <SerasTheImmortal> thats better |
#295830* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@dr_jesus> heh, I just had to rename some IOS image file to dongs because the fucking VMS host it's on can't do multiple periods in a filename
<@dr_jesus> then I had to copy it to the target device and this happened
<@dr_jesus> Loading dongs !!!!!!!Comment: #bifemunix
|
#295824* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
shrimants: if anyone sends me a text now, it will play the final fantasy 7 victory fanfare
shrimants: and if anyone calls me it plays "those who fight further"
fogobogo: shrimants: why not the THX sound in extra loud?
shrimants: unfortunately, i forgot about this last night, and i had my phone set to loud. so when the stupid bithc i work with as a partner for
homework called me at 2am to discuss homework while i was furiously masturbating in the dead of night, it scared the living bejesus out
of me. that was the most action packed phone answering ever, and i do not care to repeat the experience
shrimants: fogobogo: because i have only 1 speaker on my phone, and it crackles if you crank it past 20% volume
fogobogo: the victory fanfare for fapping. not to bad actually no?
shrimants: no, it was the fight theme that played
shrimants: if it was the victory theme it wouldnt be so badComment: #archlinux-offtopic on freenode
|
#295820* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* Joins: Jessica312 (darkmage@74.85.24.188)
<Jessica312> :O
<Jessica312> :O
<Jessica312> :O
<Jessica312> apparently im quite shocked by something tonight
<Jessica312> :O
<Jessica312> :O
<GaidinBDJ> (======8Comment: #fark
|
#295819* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<L|NUX> can some one tell me how can i setup all my ports installation prefix by default from /usr/local to /usr ?
<Pulpie> why would you want to do.... oh wait your a linux user, nevermind. we... we cant help you hereComment: http://pulpie.ath.cx
|
#295805* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<GarandLeCoq> OH. MY. GOD. they should totally like make the bears and like guard dogs have like totally awesome rifles upgrade them with like guard towers and stuff
<syberghost> And NINJA MASKS
<Nerkel> that dude just screams troll
<syberghost> NINJA BEARS WITH ASSAULT RIFLES\
<Nerkel> skeleton army > ninja bears
<GarandLeCoq> with PKMs or AKs
<GarandLeCoq> they would lay down in trenches and spray the perimiter of the guard towers with auto fire
<syberghost> And RPG-7s.
<GarandLeCoq> cut the grass, day and night, until their shoulders turn blue
<GarandLeCoq> then the dogs come in
<syberghost> And then people could say "what are those things the bears have?" and you could say "those are MMO RPGs."
<GarandLeCoq> the dogs dont shoot but if they see you they call in air strikes
<JunkHead> I think you guys are on to something.
<JunkHead> Seriously.
<syberghost> Grizzlarians.
<syberghost> Enemies of the Pandaren.
<JunkHead> You could just go all out and have an army of the most devastating animals ever.
<JunkHead> An army of Sharkacondasnakabears.
<JunkHead> And they can breathe fire.
<JunkHead> And read and do basic addition and subtraction.
<Nerkel> Can they do divison?
<JunkHead> They'd be unstoppable.
<JunkHead> No.
<JunkHead> But who cares.
<JunkHead> They only need to know how many people are still alive.Comment: New World of Warcraft race
|
#295796* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<QueLokz> >_>
<QueLokz> Dream Theater - Scene One: Regression (Live)
<QueLokz> <_<
<TBF> *bats*
<TBF> o_O
<TBF> I never realized that before
<QueLokz> ??
<TBF> if you stab someone backwards, you're batting them x.x DUDE, BASEBALL PLAYERS STAB THINGS, HOLY SHIT |
#295795* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
v0kal Says to jim33: u got smooth lips?
jim33 u got lips coverd in cum
v0kal Says to jim33: haha yeh ur sisters
jim: fuk u
jim: vokal ill fukin stab u
jim: if i new were u were
jim: dnt say sht bout my sister
v0kal Says to jim33: lmao not polite to pic on downys? |
#295790* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<klono_> dude implement that shit |
#295782* (?/38) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> If you catch jellyfish, and leave them on a rock out in the sun, they melt.
<Ironholds> If you catch jellyfish, your hands melt.
<Ironholds> I assume you mean with a net :P.
<fahadsadah> Well, I tried with a net, anyway. Maybe someone tried it by hand?
<Ironholds> Fahadsadah: nobody could be that stupid.
<fahadsadah> Yes, somebody could
<fahadsadah> Cobi: You here?Comment: #wikipedia-en on freenode
|
#295779* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Doerfler> HAI
<[K4L]ThePro> hai Doerfler's Doerfler
<[K4L]ThePro> i am drunk
<[K4L]ThePro> i drinked too much.....
<[K4L]ThePro> CHOCOLATE MILK! |
#295773* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
01:18 %Akiros • oh god damn shit son
01:18 %Akiros • you fuckin got that wiggly on the chassis god damn it
01:18 %Akiros • FUCK
01:18 %Zex • kamu if you were to have a sex change to a guy would you still pms?
01:18 @Kamu • fuck son wutya gunna do now man shit
01:18 %Akiros • m gonna go wallaby on that giraffe
01:18 %Akiros • you KNOW WHAT IM SAYIN
01:18 %Akiros • MOTHERFUCKER
01:19 @Kamu • aiight
01:20 %Akiros • that's what you get when a white dude from arkansas and a white dude from australia try to be gangster
01:20 %Akiros • me and kamu totally did a drive by on Zex that shit was nutz biggie biggie
01:21 @Kamu • damn bro
01:21 @Kamu • shit son
01:23 @Kamu • is probably why he is so pissed
01:23 @Kamu • we fucked up his crib
01:25 @Kamu • Akiros: come to australia and we form a security company
01:26 %Akiros • yeah |
#295771* (?/46) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: (logged off)Comment: I know it's probably fake, but it made me lol.
|
#295770* (?/46) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* SFN02750 has joined #sfn
<SFN02750> HI
<SFN02750> I HAVE THEERY ON GLOBLE WORMING
<SFN02750> CAN I SAY
<SFN02750> PLZ
<SFN02750> Y U NO TALK
<SFN02750> PLZ
<SFN02750> PLZ TLK
<SFN02750> :(
<SFN02750> I HAS NO FREND
* SFN02750 has quit |
#295769* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Flickerdart> dammit what kind of fag tags trainz simulator 2009 with Stalker Shadow of Chernobyl |
#295766* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
(09:13:38 PM) tehDarkAura: then it got really infected and the doctor had to cut it out
(09:13:53 PM) tehDarkAura: lol-- i had to wear a big ass patch on my ear for weeks
(09:14:03 PM) Squall: Ear patch?
(09:14:03 PM) dort1: Should've worn an ear patch instead. |
#295763* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
***betweenthewheels fires a photon at photon with a 180 phase shift
photon: :o
photon left the room (quit: Nick collision from services.). |
#295625* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Deltantor> You seriously cant beat a rock with voyager, the doctor, someone who looks like chakotay or tom paris, janeway, and tuvok
<+GaidinBDJ> Deltantor: Yes, I could. I could have a Seven of Nine RealDoll
<Deltantor> GaidinBDJ, you win.
<+Pornosaur> sexual vinyl beats rock, rock, paper, scissors goes 4 wayComment: #fark
|
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..271272273274275276277..311Next> |
|