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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..63646566676869..596Next> |
#300299 (124/244) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<welandB> I love how on fukung there are image files of ascii art.
<welandB> We've come full circle. |
#300290 (231/341) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Vespucci> My five year old just told me that his mom is doing a bad job raising him because he didn't eat his dinner, said a bunch of bad words, and still got ice cream with the other kids. To quote "What the freak is wrong with mom?" |
#167250 (227/367) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<an0n> If I ever find out someone has an inflatable love doll, I'm going to steal it and leave a note like "i've tried to make it work, Steve, but all you care about is yourself. What about MY needs? You treat me like a piece of meat, just here to fuck and cast aside. You've really let me down... :,(" |
#299993 (283/439) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dingo> I hate snipers <.<
<Starcraftmazter> I don't see any snip- |
#297089 (310/628) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<asp> Atheim: Your name is one letter away from a very dangerous idea.
<Atheim> asp: Not sure what you're talking about, it's quite a few letters away from Christianity... |
#295368 (379/667) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<anon1> You come across a girl in the forest, both her legs are broken and she says that she has just been raped, What do you do??
<brotha> unzip and get ready for round 2?
<Henaby> Check my compass, i MUST be walking in circles. |
#125372 (44/196) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Brownie12149 sets ban on Religion!*@*
<Brownie12149> if i had my own country
<Brownie12149> i would be want to able to control it through IRC commands |
#117878 (679/803) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<timelyx> can someone explain how to use wikipedia in a foreign language? :)
<max> timelyx: navegar simplemente a wikipedia.org y seleccionar tu lengua |
#297412 (183/289) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<shawnz> how come every emulator has dozens of advanced image scaling algorithms
<shawnz> but every image editing app has two or three
<&dt> because everyone wants mario bigger
<&dt> but not pictures of you |
#297426 (448/554) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Errdoth> Guess what I have that you don't.
<ichai> virginity?
<Errdoth> :( |
#297172 (475/627) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<foxygrl> so me and my girlfriend were thinking of coming out together, to each others' parents
<hulachick> wait, marissa?
<foxygrl> kristen??
<foxygrl> holy shit i didn't even realize it...
<hulachick> yeah, weird isn't it...
<foxygrl> ......
<foxygrl> ...wanna cyber? |
#294769 (47/271) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<angelphish> my figners smell funny
<king_egg> wtf are figners
<angelphish> fingers you fucking faggot
<angelphish> what a mroon
<king_egg> oh shit yeah figners. the things on my hnadsComment: #sa on SynIrc
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#294500 (1063/1211) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> So did I ever tell you the story of how my parents met?
<DryBones> Nope.
<MurderMachine> Well, there are two versions I guess.
<DryBones> How?
<MurderMachine> The story my Mum tells is: A group of idiots pushed her over while ice skating and my Dad heroically went over and helped her up.
<MurderMachine> The story my Dad tells is: He paid a group of idiots to go push her over so he could go heroically help her up.
<DryBones> ROFL
<MurderMachine> I have been paid not to tell her. |
#286353 (226/336) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< Liem> check this out, I was driving down my street yesterday
< Liem> a guy walking his dog flags me down
< Liem> I'm all "wtf?"
< Liem> "Hey! So you're the guy with the "uid 0" license plate!"
< Liem> "yeah, that's me."
< Liem> "So, I was laid off 2 weeks ago, is your employer hiring software engineers?"
< Coraxyn> :)
< Liem> "welcome to the party pal, I am a 5-week laid off software engineer."
< Liem> FLAGGED DOWN for a job. can you believe that?
< Coraxyn> Yes |
#283502 (736/862) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better. |
#261527 (341/467) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kuiper> My mom got me a toilet brush for Christmas.
<sic> lmao
<sic> have you been using it?
<kuiper> Well, yeah, but it hasn't been working too well. In fact, I think I may just go back to using paper. |
#199773 (136/266) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<yak[work]> This,..... is the weirdest error message I have ever gotten on database import...
<yak[work]> ---
<yak[work]> ERROR 1064 (42000) at line 1302: You have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ''orgasmic climax is like a parado' at line 1
<yak[work]> --- |
#185334 (0/288) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ichigo_> i always wonder why they call it comp sci
<ichigo_> its not science
<ichigo_> science is like, mixing shit in beakersComment: #4chan
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#127326 (386/506) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Random> I've wanked 50 times this year.
<Random> My ring finger is sore...
<Kogita> it's the third of January. You need help. |
#300297 (488/586) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Asaph> Yo, Pry?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Sup?
<Asaph> You're in geology right?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Ya.
<Asaph> What's the law of original horizontality?
<Pryo[Geo110]> Rocks do it in the missionary position.
<Pryo[Geo110]> Err, all sedimentary rock forms horizontally, any distortion in that must have taken time to form.
<Asaph> Thanks...What was that about missionary position?
<Pryo[Geo110]> I memorize all my rules/laws as sexual positions. Then whenever i get laid, it's like i'm studying. |
#300288 (262/422) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<c|oneman> did you ever meet this person that was so cheerful
<c|oneman> you've said to yourself
<c|oneman> I think this person would maintain the same face even when being fisted anally
<Urz> I don't believe I've ever thought those same words, no |
#300060 (138/288) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@g3nocide> I must warm my wrists up for some counter strike source
<@g3nocide> back in 30 seconds
<ne0n> he means he's gonna masturbate. |
#300059 (96/258) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Warchamp7> I have a PSD in graphics design |
#299845 (176/298) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<hagin> "if you already knew, then why did you ask me?"
<hagin> "because... you're so cute when you think you're right!"
<hagin> dumped instantly |
#299844 (398/520) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jafet> How the hell does youtube order its comments anyway?
<FauxFaux> Most annoying first. |
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