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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..62636465666768..596Next> |
#299675 (611/717) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<squibbles> :o
<squibbles> Universal is producing an Asteroids Movie!
<~blue_tetris> It sounds absolutely awful.
<~blue_tetris> I'd shoot that movie, if not for the fear that it would break into three smaller movies. |
#154996 (323/423) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW |
#297725 (1247/1395) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CShadowRun> windows keeps telling me i might be a victim of software counterfeiting :(
<CShadowRun> i don't think of myself as a victim, more of a benificiary |
#117874 (206/288) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<plasticmillion> so this is totally stupid but does anyone know the keyboard shortcut to jump to the next compilation error in VS.NET
<plasticmillion> for the life of me I can't seem to find it
* plasticmillion bets that if he asked how to invert a multidimensional matrix in the current Emacs buffer someone here would know *that*
<db48x> well
<db48x> if you're in calc mode it's &
<db48x> I'm not aware of any other modes that let you do matrix math
<plasticmillion> I rest my caseComment: irc.mozilla.org #developers
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#117669 (51/189) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+zmda> how fast do you guys think i can type
<+zmda> 100?
<+zmda> 200?
<+zmda> 300?
* hund sets mode: -v zmda
<@hund> 0 words per minute is my guesstimate.Comment: #c on efnet
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#117599 (176/318) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Celox> I'd be terrible with kids, specifically bedtime stories, I can't lie to kids
<Celox> they'd ask me if that really happened and I'd just say no, citing all the historical and scientific inaccuracies
<Celox> then I'd explain human psychology as best we understand it as a means of further proving that would never happen because people don't really act like that
<Celox> but then I'd reassure them that due to quantum physics in an alternate dimension far away from here it is entirely possible that something did happen that was at least fairly similar to the story even though we have no worldly form of proving it within our collective lifetimes
<Celox> then I'd say goodnight |
#117205 (129/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ghib[2d]> yeah, it's like when I tell my nephews and nieces what I do they all go ..coooool!!.. and I'm thinking if only you knew what that entailed you wouldn't be saying that
<ghib[2d]> masturbating pigs for a living isn't fun
<brome> What do you do ?
<brome> uh
<brome> wtf |
#117159 (-3/337) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
popmania7: It would be like some movie thats like this situation. |
#116343 (101/199) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<IdleFire> back later perhaps, playing aoe with the girlfriend
* Quits: IdleFire (IdleFire@idlefire.net) (Quit: IdleFire)
<MadManMarkAu> Wait, he has a girlfriend, and he prefers to play AoE?
<MasterCJ> thats nothing
<MasterCJ> once he was in bed with her
<MasterCJ> naked
<MasterCJ> and was on irc
<MasterCJ> and she was playing aoe
<MadManMarkAu> :s |
#116163 (63/189) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sly> being a sex addict is a bad thing?
<hohum> only for ugly people |
#115706 (253/331) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* scalpod shakes his head in cornfusion
<Phinny> cornfusion? Is that like being caught in a maize?
<Asquire> corn fusion? is that like ethanol? |
#216997 (398/574) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing oneComment: #raspberryheaven
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#119039 (48/298) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far |
#295823 (4/302) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jenny^> hi
<jenny^> can i ask?
<BlueDoll> about?
<jenny^> r u open minded?
<BlueDoll> yeah
<BlueDoll> why?
<BlueDoll> what is it?
<jenny^> do u know how to make a married woman hot?
<BlueDoll> just try to shape up work out, eat a low carb diet.. dress up nicely
<jenny^> u get me wrong
<BlueDoll> uh oh.. |
#220556 (97/245) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<superlanb0y> to everyone : i bought awesome transformer today
<veganonymous> I bet you went into the store and was like "oh no this is for my kid"
<veganonymous> and they looked at your transformer shirt and were like
<veganonymous> "yeah sure dude sure"
<EHG> that's what I say when I go buy girls panties |
#129759 (-4/186) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pthree> oh god, ern was watching some horrible fat person challenge show last night
<Austin> Are you fatter than a fifth grader?
<pthree> it was all i could do to make relatively few sound effects
<pthree> but it was a lot of "NOM NOM NOM" and mouth breathing. |
#115962 (152/292) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%Raven> and then the next was "write a reply coming from a WASP"
<%Raven> I had no idea what a WASP was so I basically had to gamble whether they were for or against indian mistreatment
<%Raven> I went against, which was wrong
<%Raven> but I covered myself by saying "in case above answer doesn't suffice, here's a reply from a different WASP"
<%Raven> I just drew a giant wasp (the bug) and added a textballoon with BZZZZZZZT
<%Raven> he might just give points for originalityComment: #dyo on irc.dyo-ecksdee.com
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#295851 (322/456) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<glxblt> when my dad was a fire fighter they had this special technique for putting out fires called the "APP-technique"
<glxblt> Antaa Paskan Palaa. Roughly translated as "Let the piece of shit burn"
<glxblt> it was easier to use the "APP" -term around the owners of the property when the fire was so bad that they didn't really try to put it out, just to contain it
<glxblt> if they'd openly talk about just letting it burn it sorta might've upset the owners :D
<glxblt> also known as "removing the burning material."
<glxblt> (by burning it) |
#299982 (457/561) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Cynake> French is a useless language for being angry.
<Cynake> No matter how angry you are, and how hateful the words you say, it still sounds like you're looking at yourself in the mirror and admiring your dress and makeup.
<Cynake> Russian is a great language to swear in if you're understood.
<Cynake> Entry-level Russian swearing starts off with phrases like "Oh rotting whore on my dick"
<Cynake> Instead of "Oh crap"
<lorraine> So romantic.Comment: #trl
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#297440 (97/225) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<w0rm> i actually found this chat becuase CNN advertised it
<Magami_Yuuji> CNN advertised a IRC channel?
<w0rm> yes the were showing some twitter messages earlier and i saw this chan
<werdnativ> worm, I think CNN were referring to the twitter hashtag, not irc channel...
<w0rm> probably but this is how i found this chanComment: #iranelection
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#295315 (165/301) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sartak> when we win the first nobel for computing you're totally not invited to stockholm
<arcanehl> that's okay
<arcanehl> I have an outstanding warrant anyway |
#294592 (273/363) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(@Zigkirby) I mean, could you explain it to me?
(@Polly) I could but I feel I'd be wasting valuable typing energy. I can only type so many characters per day and when I start getting close to the limit i hv to strt lving out lttrs so i dn rn out
(@Jaq) You're having irregular vowel movements
(@Jaq) Perhaps you've caught what I have |
#246997 (254/414) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Annie> Vagina ^_^
*Annie (~Annie@Annie.Annie) has left #plott
<Golvmopp> o.o
<Golvmopp> A GIRL WAS HERE
<Golvmopp> A GIRL WAS HERE
<Some> What is a girl? :o
<Golvmopp> I read about them in a magazine
<Golvmopp> They are like us, but they like horses.Comment: #plott on Rizon
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#232309 (85/209) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jenny> Wrath comes out on my birthday :3
<Cerbis_Latran> yay
<Jenny> it's like Blizz are saying "happy birthday Jenny"
<Jenny> "have a piece of crap that crashes every ten minutes until it gets patched in three months"
<Jenny> "that'll be 30 euro" |
#181649 (238/354) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@vap0r> a friend of mine got out of jail after being in for 10 years or os
<@vap0r> so
<@vap0r> a young guy
<@vap0r> he had no idea abou tthe internet at all really
<@vap0r> this was years ago
<@iNToIT> and now he wants to have sex with you?
<@vap0r> nah hes still straight
<@iNToIT> lies
<@vap0r> but it was just weird
<@vap0r> he ended up getting on the internet
<@vap0r> and the first thing he searched for was latino girls
<@vap0r> and it blew his mind |
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