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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..48495051525354..596Next> |
#300122 (493/669) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Slashy> Kanye West has a new show coming out
<Slashy> No time slot, it just interrupts other shows |
#297717 (314/480) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ChromosFel|WoW> i can't see how people feel they can judge WoW without even playing it
<Z-Ramm> i can't see how people feel they can judge crack users without even trying it |
#266625 (354/560) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
kwenda: this lady who works here is so disgusting
kwenda: fat and ugly
kwenda: she rubbed my hair in the middle of a meeting
kwenda: i stood up and left the meeting without saying anything
kwenda: went to supercuts and got a shampoo and a haircut
kwenda: walked back into the meeting and sat down |
#261528 (291/499) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Blimey> hmmmm shall i have another cup of tea?
<Blimey> or is that a bit drastic?
<Blimey> what the hell, you only live once.... |
#121036 (2/490) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<SimonJester> myself: Yeah. I have a fascination for all things Tuvan. To find even a minor phrase book is something amazing.
<purge> I'm a fan of throat singing.
<purge> No idea why they call it that, though, since it's all in the tongue.
<SimonJester> It's not all in the tongue. Some of it is in the back of the throat.
<myself> fuck. Why is this channel +t ? |
#120265 (-14/548) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@sdr> shitting while being hungover must be like childbirth to a womanComment: #**** efnet
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#120261 (-6/490) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<m0rb> you're breaking up with your girl dylan?
<dylan> haha she's opting out of meComment: #**** efnet
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#118944 (97/397) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Wendell> Who's that?
<Texture> qdb.us random quote
<Texture> it's like chatting on IRC
<Texture> except you don't have to chat
<Texture> and you just read the funniest parts |
#303208 (429/555) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GauHelldragon> G-Flex
<GauHelldragon> how many cubic milliliters can you fit in a bathtub
<G-Flex> what is a cubic milliliter
<G-Flex> you're going to have to ask me in units that aren't hyperdimensional |
#303156 (125/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<dd7> sigh
<Marcus> whats up?
<dd7> i was eating a sandwich on my electronics workstation right
<dd7> well i ended up getting bread crumbs in the breadboard
<dd7> go figure |
#303154 (292/432) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pgp> i want food but it is raining and i have no escape from the rain
<pgp> oh wait i have apples
<iank> use them to construct an umbrella
<iank> so you can buy foodComment: irc.slashnet.org/#mefi
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#303149 (0/278) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<nuintari> two happy little bacteria cells have met, estalished a cute little rapport, wined and dined, enjoyed each other company as dear good friends, fallen madly in love, settled down for a night of loving mutal physical satisfaction, then realized that they are not sexual beings, said fuck all that, and then deciding that they should just remain friends, and immediately go into mitosis |
#303118 (763/969) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fbcash> has anyone here flashed their xbox before?
<warbucks> no, but I once showed my dick to a nintendo DS |
#303101 (558/708) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<grent>
<grent>
<grent>
<hitenmaster> You don't say. |
#302976 (245/357) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[@tank] there's a gay porn called Hungry for Hungary
[@tank] there should have been a whole series like that
[@tank] Budapest Butts, Croatian Cocks
[@tank] etc
<@JohnnyDoe> Switzerland sucks :-D
<+dlong> Azerbaijanian Asses
<+dlong> Danish Dicks
[@thechosenone] Ethiopian Enemas
<+dlong> Finnish Fucks
[@thechosenone] German Goatses!!!
<@JohnnyDoe> Inside India
<+dlong> Jamacian Jailbait
[@thechosenone] Kinky Kenya
[@thechosenone] Monaco Man-Meat
<@JohnnyDoe> Liberia Libido
<cs^> [@thechosenone] Nicaraguan Nipples
<+dlong> Oceaniac Oral
<+dlong> Penises from Paraguay
<@JohnnyDoe> Quickie in Qatar
[@thechosenone] Ravenna Rim-jobs
<+dlong> Trannies in Tahiti
<@JohnnyDoe> Uganda Urinals
<+dlong> Vacuums in Vatican City
[@thechosenone] Vanatuan Vaginas
<+dlong> This is supposed to be gay porn
<+dlong> Watersports in Wakanda
<cs^> [@thechosenone] Xin-XXX
<@JohnnyDoe> Should have been Watersports in West Bank
[@thechosenone] old country names count? ;) otherwise i can't find an X
<hellix> zombie sex in zanzibar
<hellix> wait, what
[@thechosenone] Yugoslavia Youths |
#302934 (666/810) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Ted: Usually we get a virga rainfall here.
bob read that as viagra rainfall
ErinH: lol
Ted: sigh, bob
ian: "if you have rainfall lasting more than 4 hours, contact your weatherman"
Ted: heh
MichelleH: dare I ask what virga rainfall is?
bob: gah. now I have "it's raining men" stuck in my head
Ted: it's rain that evaporates before hitting the ground
ErinH: cool
bob: heh. premature evaporation. |
#302907 (104/222) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
hawq: link to news story "chair-maims-girl-by-anal-penetration"
Orange_Ribbon: caused the gas cylinder in the chair to explode
Orange_Ribbon: WHAT!?!?!?v Gas Cylinder!!
Manoel: Why would they need a gas cylinder in the chair?
Skynet: I was under the assumption that's how gas lift chairs worked, with a gas cylinder.
FetusChrist: Guess what I have in common with a chair
Zoidberg: Explosive gas? |
#302893 (92/196) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@teleolurian> if i were going to try fetishes
<@teleolurian> hair spitting would be #1
<@teleolurian> making her roll up a shadowrun character would be #2
<@minipulator> i realize that fetishes are sort of, by definition, not the norm, but i'm pretty sure at least one other person has to be into it to be considered a fetishComment: #smash on BashZen
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#302849 (336/474) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Thinpy> Well, my first day at work didn't go at all well.
<Thinpy> Even though I'm probably the only competent IT person there
<Thinpy> well, as you might know I've been unemployed and living in my own place for three months
<Thinpy> in that time i have adjusted to living in a... relaxed environment
<Thinpy> for example, i have been wearing mostly loose-fitting sweatpants
<Thinpy> so when I need to drain the ol' bladder
<Thinpy> i have perfected a move at home by which I yank 'em down and start peeing in one fluid (lol) motion
<Thinpy> today at work I needed to pee and went into the work toilets
<Thinpy> since I was alone in there I kinda instinctively used the move
<Thinpy> only to discover that work pants, held up by a belt, do not come off as easily as my sweatpants might
<Thinpy> and I urinated copiously into my pants. |
#302837 (450/552) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* +skism np: Lady Gaga - Pokerface [03:46m/128kbps/44kHz]
<+Polynomial> skism you're a freak
<+skism> why?
<+skism> nothing wrong with lady gaga
<+Polynomial> 128kbps
<+Polynomial> you disgust me |
#302747 (279/407) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@ETJ> iTunes handles new computers in the stupidest way possible.
<@ETJ> Instead of saying "Oh. This is an iPod. Here, let me move all that shit onto here for you and duplicate your playlists so that you wont have to redo them."
<@ETJ> It says "Fuck you." |
#302530 (315/439) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Apophis> Somalian radio stations have banned certain songs
<Apophis> my first thought upon learning this was, 'they'll still be played on pirate radio'
<Apophis> then I punched myself |
#302377 (543/673) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Umm> Sorry, had to eject a stoner from the house
<Umm> Fuckhead managed to bust a door, though
<Navier> ...?
<Umm> Claimed to be "fixing" a door that was broken into being closed
<Umm> He managed to break it into being open
<Einar> why was there a stoner IN your house?
<Umm> I don't know
<Einar> You should call the police
<Einar> Real life is not video games. Having strange people wander in, dig through your stuff, and attempting to solve door-opening puzzles does not indicate they're saving the world.Comment: nightstar.net
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#302269 (390/572) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Vasir: there was an evil dick staring at me all day
Mel: O_O WTF.. um are you okay?
Vasir: yeah i'm fine. it was starring me down through the windows all day though. i'm pretty sure it had malicious intent
Mel: Are you okay?
Vasir: yes.
*10 minutes or so pass*
Vasir: you know Mel, we never talk much anymore...
Mel: I know, but Vasir, why are you talking about dicks?
Vasir: I'm not?
Vasir: OH FUCK. I meant DUCK! AN EVIL DUCK WAS STARRING AT ME! NOT AN EVIL DICK! |
#299911 (548/648) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< koala_man> after some future breakthroughs in robotics, but before the price has gone down, there is likely to be robotic brothels
< mawlipe> robot sex? that's scary.
< koala_man> I know, that's what I thought
< koala_man> but according to my calculations, a condom of normal thickness has a dielectric strength of at least 780V
< koala_man> meaning if the robot runs on mains and shorts out, you're still protected with a margin of nearly 500V
< mawlipe> .....not what I meant. |
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