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#27960 (158/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Monkey> I once ate at an Irish restaurant in China Town, D.C.
* Monkey tries to be topical
* waider rubs monkey on his skin and breaks out in a rash.
<waider> you're not a very good topical.
<@kingmob> discontinue monkey if rash appears
#27958 (270/428) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gravity->: www.realdoll.com (NWS)  i mean.. these guys put WAY to much scientific work into this.. i'm fooled just by squinting a bit.
<Magus`>: I've always wondered... if someone bought a realdoll...then happened to get a real girlfriend... how the hell would they explain that?
<Dire_Wolf>: Explain what... explain the realdoll to the girlfriend, or explain how they managed to get a girlfriend?
<Magus`>: ...i guess either
#27956 (93/237) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@timmo> man
<@timmo> my dad just brought home the coolest thing
<Mootar> what's her name?
<@timmo> its a 5' long plastic inflatable tube, you bind it in half
<@timmo> and clap the two sides together
<@timmo> and it makes this fucked up sound
<RuKK> <timmo> its a 5' long plastic inflatable tube
<RuKK> that was enough for me
<RuKK> ;x
<@timmo> hah
<Mootar> you gotta include the "coolest thing" bit
<@timmo> im easily amused
Comment: #geekissues
#27954 (41/253) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WiLLSTiFF> I just have a small problem..
<[Piratez]> is that wut the ladies tell u
#27953 (54/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<timmo> the hulk fists are badass
<tito> great for fapping
#27951 (99/295) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fr30n> so you married
<fr30n> a pregnant woman?? man.. that's like putting gas in a car you've
<fr30n> already wrecked.. what's wrong with you.
#27950 (-1/303) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* @FrozenFood goes to /knock and /run
#27932 (113/299) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Razor_EQ> god damn I just embarresed myself with a girtl I lik
<Razor_EQ> like
<Razor_EQ> look at this shit
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: im glad i didnt ask for one now
<Razor_EQ> dazed_n_confused_1983: i have cokes and dr peppers tea
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: cool dr pepper
<Razor_EQ> rangers4life03: but I dont drink cocks anymore
#27931 (226/392) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<taglin>   ok, so te pretty menu came up and is asking you to add drives?
<suds>   yeh
<suds>   done that
<taglin>   k... whats next?
<suds>   weee
<suds>   hang on a sec...
<suds>   need more rum+coke+spritz of lime
<suds>   :)
<taglin>   heh
<taglin>   i think some of the problems with this crazy install could be alcohol related
#27930 (1/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@ian) my neighbor must have been like 5 or 6 yrs old
(@ian) and i was in like 4th grade
(@ian) so my friend (who lives on the other side of this kid)
(@ian) we drank some cokes
(@ian) and we were bored
(@ian) so we went out in the woods and pissed inside one of the cans
(@ian) and between both of us we like filled it up
(@ian) so then we were like hey justin.... this pop is warm i don't want it
(@ian) OK LEFT M3 HAFT IT PWEEZE!
(@ian) THIF TAFTE LAIK PISS KTHX
(@ian) *drinks some more*
(@ian) GROSS
(@ian) throws it down
(@ian) YOU GUYS SUCK
(@ian) *leaves*
(@ian) then his mom got all pissed off
(@ian) now that i think about it
(@ian) it's bad enough to drink a pop can that 2 other people's dicks have been on
(@ian) despite the fact that he drank half a coke can of piss
#27929 (-1/229) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`dsx-efnex> you're talking to a guy who lost his virginity to a paper cup
#27949 (107/327) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<willo> so
<willo> this morning
<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road.
<willo> I didn't let him by
<willo> I get to work
<ogw-iii> that sounds painful
<willo> and it turns out to be the guy in the next cube
<willo> I'm trying to determine an appropriate beratement.
<willo> stoning?
<ogw-iii> "<willo> this guy's driving up my ass on the road."
<willo> you put that in bash.org and I'll hurt you.
*** willo is now known as HULK
<HULK> PUNY HUMAN!
<ogw-iii> how's about bash.cx?
#27948 (333/461) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hkhenson> we may need to modify the expected collision between our galaxy and andromeda
<finite> everyone lean left
#27945 (143/317) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MRAmes> In some lanuages I have used, a symbol like a circumflex ^ over the letter indicates a glottal stop.
[Eliezer] thus, "x-guh-2" means "x squared"
[Eliezer] (that was a joke)
<Gordon> really?  I thought that jokes were funny.
#27944 (62/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes..
<tmoenk> People have said that i have an infinite supply of patience.
<tmoenk> Alan Grimes spent infinity in just four days.
#27941 (169/319) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eg0mech> Someday you'll find that special girl, give her a couple dollars, and experience that special thing.
#27935 (220/370) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Name of channel please.
<+[d20]Gau> Clan:  Covert Underground Neutralization Team  #CUNT
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: Sorry but thats an unacceptable channel name.
<+[d20]Gau> ?  Is it too short?
<@Phobius> [d20]Gau: No its the word "cunt"
<+[d20]Gau> "cunt"? Ohhhh goodness That's another word for a woman's vagina, isn't it
<+[d20]Gau> How about The War Against Terrorism? #twat
<@Phobius> !#twat reg [d20]Gau
#27928 (-1/245) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
This is Unix & Netware country, on a quiet night, you can hear NT reboot.Comment: AIM:Anonymous
#27917 (254/430) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<azathoth> why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a 20 year old computer programmer can provide...
* azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his debugging
#27915 (131/303) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Extigy> Ships are Long, Hard and full of sea men!
<blondee> i don't get it....
#27913 (103/257) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@bandXXX> HAHAHA clipse is on new justin timberlake album
<@bandXXX> sad thing is
<@Blaxthos> that you know this
#27912 (114/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vexer`> i'm arabic / muslim
<Traktopel> im more muslim than you
<Vexer`> you are?
<Vexer`> YOU TERRORIST!
#27911 (196/348) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CrackZ> I'm gonna be getting a new boss soon too
<CrackZ> its a power hungry female
<CrackZ> ya know the type
<CrackZ> her 'can do' profile is going to clash with my 'can't be arsed' profile
#27910 (222/374) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Enrico> do you like your co-workers
<Thibster> I'd like them to leave me alone
<Enrico> have you tried shooting them... I bet you didn't.
<Thibster> no I tried
<Thibster> they respawn
#27909 (68/280) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<slippy> wtf is this shit on bbc1
<slippy> how on earth do you prevent friendly fire?
<slippy> don't fight with the americans?
<slippy> hrhrhr
<doggie^> hahah
<doggie^> maybe if we painted all our military equipment red white and blue
<doggie^> they would be so overcome with patriotism they wouldnt be able to blow us up
<slippy> lol
<slippy> paint golden arches on all the tanks
<slippy> then a little sign under saying "this is not a drive-thru, you dopey obese fools"
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