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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..259260261262263264265..596Next> |
#30618 (270/464) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[niffie] I have no inhabitions right now
[aphr0] would you finger my asshole?
[niffie] no
[aphr0] then you have inhibitions |
#30616 (108/372) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<phr0work> using linux is like using windows, except every time you try to do something like install a program or a driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in and kicks you in the side of the head |
#30614 (157/323) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ryano> but i still like tattoos and piercings on chicks
<ryano> which is why i go for lina's friends
<ryano> and not lina
<Lina--> i have tattoos
<jons> those aren't tattooes, they're varicose veins |
#30609 (202/410) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cdowdsux> So my friend was telling me about how he tried to commit suicide by taking 20 Advil...so I was just like.. "Dude, why take 20 Advil when you could have just taken 3 Aleve?" |
#30608 (322/476) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<God> my car broke
<God> so my dad bought me a 100 dollar geo metro to use until its fixed
<God> 1994
<God> 70,000 miles
<God> runs great
<God> i got hit by an 18 wheeler first day driving it and the guy gave me 300 bux on the spot
<God> hes like "no please i dont want to deal with cops or insurance" "how does 200 sounds" ...."uhhh.." "ok fine 300!"
<God> "i guess that works"Comment: #xbox, irc.irctoo.net
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#30598 (165/373) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<iczer> oh man, this quest to get my chocobo license sucks
<iczer> have to try to feed a chocobo every ingame day 6 times - and one day in ffxi is one hour in real life
<ChrisDKK> iczer, NERD!
* ChrisDKK goes back to playing FFTA
<iczer> but it will be worth it! i can then ride chocobos!
<ChrisDKK> iczer, I have I have to feed your mom for 6 days...
<iczer> what is the reward?
<iczer> ......... oh god.........
<ChrisDKK> haha |
#30594 (205/365) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<J3anyus> i just received a sign from god that i'm going to get laid at the concert i go to tonight
<J3anyus> i was coming home and decided to check my mail, even though i wasn't expecting anything
<J3anyus> opened it up, and there was a little envelope
<J3anyus> opened that up, inside was a "FREE SAMPLE FROM TROJAN CONDOMS!" |
#30591 (0/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*S_R remembers orgasming over an AMD T-bird two years ago |
#30588 (85/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* @cagey strangles the fuck out of the verizon guy
<@cagey> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER?! |
#30564 (209/401) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rac00n> Security Level: Paranoid, Maximum, Medium, Low, RedHat. |
#30552 (214/462) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Summoner> Archimedes, Newton and Pascal are playing Hide&Seek.
<Summoner> Archimedes is counting down, Pascal takes off and hides, but Newton takes few steps, turns around, comes behind Archimedes,puls aout a chalk, makes a square 1 meter by 1 meter and steps in it.
<Summoner> Archimedes finishes counting, turns around and, praise the Lord, sees him immideatly:
<Summoner> - A-Ha, Newton!!!
<Summoner> Newton smiles and says:
<Summoner> - No, this is Newton per sqare meter, and that's Pascal. |
#30551 (-5/339) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Josho> Mac OS X 10.3 "Panther" Mouse Pad. Big. Black. And Powerful.
<Josho> Measuring 7 3/4" inches in diameter
<hy_dro> Big. Black. Sodomizing the 16 year-old girl next door.Comment: #geekissues
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#30573 (156/384) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MaTriX-> my cousin tells me "what does cum mean"
<MaTriX-> i tell her, go ask the guy u think is really cute......
<odom> dude
<Suicidaltaco> dude how old is she
<odom> how old is she
<MaTriX-> 14
<odom> tell her wait 3 yrs and call odom
<SDS91> tell her to call me 3 years ago |
#30570 (262/490) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DJ-Pyro> The average person contains 5 to 25 pounds of waste build up in their colon. This leads to being overweight, colon cancer, deadly toxins and parasite build up.
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> "Approximately 90% of all disease and discomfort is related to an unclean colon."
<Lippizanr> imagine that!
<Lippizanr> sign me up!
<DJ-Pyro> aparently "Drooling While Sleeping" is caused by an unclean colon
<DJ-Pyro> http://www.shadysports.com/colon/
<DJ-Pyro> I'd totally buy from a company hosted at shadysports.com
<Lippizanr> dry lips during the day?
<Lippizanr> and damp lips at night?
<DJ-Pyro> heh
<Lippizanr> it has EXTREME POWER PLUS.
<DJ-Pyro> oh shi
<Lippizanr> exactly.
<triple6> 5 to 25 POUNDS?! of waste build up?
<triple6> dude, that's a small child
<triple6> and rather unlikely
<DJ-Pyro> well that sure would explain the cries of help coming from my ass |
#30566 (231/417) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mediator> hmm....that troy movie looks awsome....I'll be able to jackoff to orlando bloom without having to watch lotr
<@Phucker> assumes 'orlando' is female.
<Mediator> your assumtion is wrong
<@Phucker> Jesus.
<Mediator> orlando bloom is legolas in lotr
<@Phucker> Jesus x2. |
#30563 (148/350) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Henke^-_-[CA]> what the hell do i buy for parents wedding anniversary ....
<creep`> sex toys
<creep`> spice up that marriage for them |
#30562 (10183/13149) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
* frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ... |
#30546 (153/345) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Black_Dog> ryo: if you were a sheep, would you fuck a sheep?
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: damn straight i would
<@Ryo_Hayasa> BD: or the farmer's daughter |
#30545 (2/394) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<aphr0> FUCK
<aphr0> I got a cookies and snickers bar
<aphr0> isntead of cookies and m&m
<aphr0> piss fuck whores
<aphr0> god cocks
<aphr0> deathComment: #couch on EFnet
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#30533 (56/258) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Tik-Tok> whats a good newsgroup for tv rips?
<DigDug> alt.tv.rips.uploaded.for.tik-tok
<Tik-Tok> alt.thats.not.funny.dildo |
#30543 (-6/470) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<clay> %addmsg <Lina-> 8======D~~~~ O-: <--meComment: #lost
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#30542 (-5/533) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<davidc> wtf
<davidc> Last login: Fri Feb 14 18:37:14 2003 from aca9300c.ipt.aol.comComment: #lost
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#30540 (-6/440) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
eighty7advil: you failed an art class? i didnt know that could happen
lunacrow: yeah, i totally rule
lunacrow: i think it was because i was like 5 minutes late every day.. and it drove the teacher nuts
eighty7advil: you should have just told the teacher you're on c.p.t.
eighty7advil: (colored people time)Comment: #lost
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#30539 (75/289) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<stu> if i could sell feet odour, i'd be rich
<jonathans> and aloneComment: #lost
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#30538 (-3/319) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<clay> clay-----`
<clay-> clay------------->
<davidc> oh dear it finally happened
<davidc> clay finally amassed so much weight he split in twoComment: #lost
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