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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..232233234235236237238..596Next> |
#33546 (163/361) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Jon|AWAY> don't download porn from stile..
<@Jon|AWAY> I thought I had a stripper video..
<@Jon|AWAY> it's a man in drag with a sparkler up his ass. |
#33556 (218/464) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Philth : theres no lag when you play with yourself..
Philth : eh, i mean single player
Magnus : lol
Philth : I keep saying shit like that, i blame bashComment: Oh god I'm addicted
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#33550 (175/375) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<utopian_fiat> I used to have 160 penis enlargements every day before I trashed hotmail
<utopian_fiat> errr.... penis enlargement advertisments... ><Comment: irc.starfusion.org
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#33544 (271/441) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< digitalabsolutes> I always worry that the jews I am after will just have some stupid crap attached that I know nothing about
< Malix> eh?
< digitalabsolutes> the jews I'm after?!?! JOBS
< digitalabsolutes> How the hell did I manage that typo |
#33543 (438/580) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TheDarkOfKnight> When I was a seinor in high school we had to make a video and had to have blood packs. The best blood packs are made from condoms.
<TheDarkOfKnight> We had the following on the checkout counter: 1 Box of Trojan Magnum condoms, 2 Bottles of Corn oil, 4 Bottles of red food color, 2 Super 8 video cassettes and 1 Roll of duct tape.
<TheDarkOfKnight> I have never before gotten weirder looks. |
#33530 (435/613) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face |
#33518 (289/521) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Loz> I didn't invent the paradox, although it was my creation |
#33479 (-1/369) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
-!- HanSkywalker [~mpolanis@hanskywalker.registered.freenode] has quit ["and /exit were sitting in a park. /exit left, so who was still sitting in the park?"] |
#33505 (167/407) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SexyTurd> oh yuck the most horrible wet fart just came out of my butthole
<Golurilu> wtf
<Golurilu> was it absolutely necessary to share that?
<SexyTurd> sorry
<Golurilu> Somehow my bran muffin doesn't seem so tasty anymore :( |
#33488 (215/411) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the assComment: #fark
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#33485 (118/308) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hamhocks> god damn i've been getting boners all day
<Elle> boners are gods way of telling you to 'practice' more |
#33468 (265/453) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<djevan> ok i'm going to jump off a fucking bridge
<RonJo> why??
<djevan> i was reading bash a couple weeks ago and my dad comes in and asks 'what site is that' and i told him bash.cx
<djevan> well today him and i went shopping
<djevan> and we're talking, and he goes 'so have you checked out the latest additions to bash'
<RonJo> OMG that's a geeks worst nightmare dude
* RonJo hands dj the bullet
<djevan> thanks
*** Quits: djevan (Exit: killing myself ask RonJo for details) |
#33463 (202/430) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Joins: DesSc0rp (~DesScorp@66.168.250.226)
<DesSc0rp> and now.....
<DesSc0rp> Calculus love poetry
<DesSc0rp> I love you
<DesSc0rp> You are my Hero
<DesSc0rp> My love for you is 1/x
<DesSc0rp> as x approaches 0Comment: #bifemunix
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#33459 (263/463) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PeteriD> Ah, yes, online insult wars
<PeteriD> It's all fun and games 'til someone's Christian mom finds the logs.
<PeteriD> >.<Comment: DOH!
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#33457 (262/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling |
#33454 (186/382) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mouse> I think my pulse has stopped.
* mouse reboots |
#33452 (0/288) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[iggy2k]: or 'consumer whore'
[iggy2k]: that would be great to have engraved on it
[KirikaPhoenix]: that would be the ultimate irony
[iggy2k]: or
[iggy2k]: 'i was gonna get an iriver, but i got this engraved instead'Comment: In regards to the Apple marketing machine and iPods
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#33453 (131/327) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hamhocks> if taking a huge shit is anything like playing chess, consider me the next garry kasparov |
#33450 (5/283) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Opius: you wanna know whats sad
Opius: i was doing my homework, and i saw you reply, so i pressed CTRL-S and looked
Opius: my homeworks on paperComment: MSN Convo :: www.opius.tk
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#33433 (-2/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<crunge> PeterJohansson: Well, I use a GeForce and my GF says I'm amazing in bed |
#33428 (531/687) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<~kid[0]> odd
<~kid[0]> so friday
<~kid[0]> i drank alot of beer
<~kid[0]> yesterday i woke up feeling fine
<~kid[0]> today i wake p and my head hurts
<~kid[0]> wtf?
<+x24> lagComment: #gideontech
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#33421 (43/313) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kosta> oh this will be fun
<Kosta> here's some records that I know for a fact are in my car
<Kosta> The Clash -- London Calling
<Kosta> Brahms 3rd and 4th (Berlin, von karajan...)
<Kosta> 2 eminem records
<Kosta> Yes -- The Yes Album
<Kosta> Toy Dolls -- Greatest hits or anthology or whatever it's called
<Kosta> Rush -- Chronicles
<Kosta> Bob Marley -- Legend
<Kosta> A -- um... whatever their record is called
<Kosta> Massive Attack -- the gray one
<Kosta> um
<Kosta> Oingo Boingo -- boingo alive
<Kosta> oh that's not the title
<Kosta> I can't remember the title, but the Cd cover is gray
<Kosta> or grey
<Kosta> the score to Glory
<Kosta> Doobie Brothers
<Kosta> greatest hits
<Kosta> James Taylor, greatest hits
<Kosta> Carol King -- Tapestry
<Kurt> sell your carComment: Kosta writes film music for a living
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#33366 (135/345) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<CaRaB3lla> god des..i love seeing you so bitchy!
<DesScorp> I know
<DesScorp> makes you horny, doesn't it?
<CaRaB3lla> makes me want to bend you over a barrel and have my way with you
<DesScorp> my asshole itches with anticipation
<DesScorp> wait
<DesScorp> that's the clap
<DesScorp> never mind
<KArmA-> I can see where you'd be confusedComment: #bifemunix on EFnet
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#33414 (220/424) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TehFattyLove> Oh dear god..
<TehFattyLove> NOOO!
<TehFattyLove> Fucking eh
<infinitevalence> ??
<infinitevalence> you ok
<TehFattyLove> A fly was flying around.. It was on the other side of the room and was coming at me
<TehFattyLove> I saw it.. like in slow mo.. then it like hit my face.. so naturaly I tried to get away..
<TehFattyLove> but was sitting down.. so instead of dodging it..
<TehFattyLove> I flippe backwards out of my chair.. and crashed my head on the ground
<TehFattyLove> When I got up I felt somethign wet on my head and I was like "FUCK!" thinking I busted my head open..
<TehFattyLove> But I reach back tehre and the fucker was crushed in my hair
<TehFattyLove> It was awesome. |
#33407 (311/479) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Monique> i reached a whole new level of internet geekdom.
<Monique> i was at quiznos eating my soup and i saw a car outside and its license plate said 911 AFK
<Monique> and i burst out laughing |
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