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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..145146147148149150151..596Next> |
#53872 (299/521) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<snarffles> Jesus I am so damn tired
<snarffles> I could literally fall asleep right here...
<snarffles> werrrrrrrwre34334""%%^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
<mellomeh> wow, you have fallen asleep in a comic fashion on your keyboard and managed to press enter despite your 'head' hitting keys nowhere near it
<mellomeh> you've also managed to hold shift near the end of that |
#53836 (188/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<NPR> HEY
<NPR> NICE HOUSE
<NPR> BE A REAL SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT
<NPR> YOU NEED PROTECTION IS WHAT I'M SAYING
<NPR> "OOPS" INSURANCE
<NPR> THE SORT OF PROTECTION THAT ONLY A PUBLIC RADIO SERVICE CAN OFFER
* NPR knocks over your lamp
<NPR> OTHERWISE ACCIDENTS HAPPEN
<NPR> YA FOLLOW!? |
#53829 (31/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kedrot> man, i think i'm catching teh ghey
<hey> sadly noticing early symptoms wont helpComment: #geekissues EfNET
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#53824 (299/521) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< withnail> thats another thing, in video games you always have to shoot bosses in the head or the one giant eye or something. i know this wouldn't work in transformers, but just once i'd like to see a game where the commander radios in the information for you to fight the giant monster and it comes through " well sir we've studied him deeply and it would appear his weak spot is right in his testicles, so shoot there repeatedly"
< withnail> i mean just once |
#53818 (208/372) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
You Hate SWC: The man gets the woman WASTED.
You Hate SWC: And they have "teh hawt secks."
You Hate SWC: And then she wakes up, vomits, and nine monthes later, I was born.
You Hate SWC: Oh shit.
You Hate SWC: a baby is born*
PSOdude34: XD
You Hate SWC: *cough*
ToasterStrube: Yea, nice typo
You Hate SWC: >__> |
#53794 (116/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< withnail> apparently when we were all apes they used to get a gang of like 5 males and take it in turns on a female ape while the others held her down
< jijicat> withnail: that's a good example of cooperation and working together |
#53783 (237/423) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<an0n|Geisha> I like Japan.
<an0n|Geisha> Fucking weirdos, the lot of them.
<Interitus> ...you're the one talking about make a suit out of human skin!
<an0n|Geisha> Human skin is no different from any other animal skin.
<Interitus> you dont see cheetahs running around with the skin of other cheetahs do you?
<an0n|Geisha> No, because Cheetah's lack a sense of irony.Comment: #nodewar - Sorcery
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#53770 (56/250) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< hondje> efnet is to conversation what scat is to porn |
#53724 (374/558) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< wietz0r> I was standing there with a packet of writeable dvd's and this women walks up fucking points her finger at me and says "Don't do illegal things with those dvds" |
#53711 (268/474) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Monxe> I have this chemistry class full of people who apparently get off acting as if they're 5. So, while leaving the class, I look over to my friend and say, "Man, I think the retardation in there is contagious."
<Monxe> Suddenly I pause, look up, and realize that we're right across from the special ed. hallway. |
#53737 (522/630) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
leet42: someone at the fortune cookie company has a sense of humor
leet42: "the fortune you seek is in another cookie" |
#53733 (115/341) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Volcom>How do I secure Windows XP?
<Vraxx>Trying to secure Windows is like trying to re-establish virginity in a hooker. |
#53719 (202/382) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ducklord> my finest moment in the army was due to mc hammer
<ducklord> I was on patrol
<ducklord> and we met some other soldiers
<ducklord> and we were chatting, talking about army stuff
<ducklord> and I yelled out, "hammertime", did my dance, then said "moonwalk" and did a retarded moonwalk around a corner
<ducklord> those guys never talked to me again
<@rp> Hahah.
<ducklord> serves them well for trying to make meaningful conversation |
#53697 (242/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Chris> They want everything they can't get in a man. For the most part, we only want someone to play with and have a little companionship with.
<Chris> I mean..I understand the compatiblity issue. You wouldn't put a G4 chip onto an AMD board...
<Chris> Then again, it's probably analogies like that which keep me pretty safe from girls. |
#53708 (318/426) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cmantito> I just found an old briefcase
<cmantito> with all my 2600 magazines in it
<cmantito> and a can of Crisco.
<cmantito> ... ><
<celti> ...
<celti> a can of Crisco?
<cmantito> I have NO idea. |
#53682 (215/403) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Book> Heh, I fell asleep on my keyboard,
<Book> when I woke up notepad was open with a few pages of 'Z's written in it. |
#53679 (285/479) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
xyzzy314: lol i saw this mcdonalds advertisement
xyzzy314: "until you can illegally download food, this is your best deal - the mcdonalds dollar menu" |
#53666 (55/457) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<olhfatti> im gohan die
<jca> you better vegeta to a hosptial
<olhfatti> i should, my lungs are krillin me
<jca> goku now
<olhfatti> i need to find my toque or else my ears will freeza |
#53665 (241/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
beafet: I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time
beafet: I'm not a smoker
beafet: I just really like certain songs |
#53608 (107/301) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ChaOSv2: hehe xbox 360 ... 'end up where you started' |
#53602 (126/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DJ_Yami> I don't have any friends in this neighborhood yet
<aoshi> How long have you lived there?
<DJ_Yami> 6 months |
#53597 (-2/358) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<yo> my GF just dumped me :(
<wer> why?
<yo> she said I spent too much time with computers and not with her... |
#53595 (99/275) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nsasch> My grandfather was on the team that invented FORTRAN
<nsasch> My brother's an artist.
<nsasch> My father's a program.
<saracen> But, does he run on linux?Comment: irc.vaccus.com @ #main
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#53594 (123/323) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<conrailto> any German speakers here?
<issq> i own a set of harmon kardensComment: #EFnet
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#53593 (223/389) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
iReima: That reminded me of that one time
iReima: where I wanted to get this job at a kiosk, selling phones
iReima: the guy was all like
iReima: "Alright, how old are you?"
iReima: "....19. NO WAIT, 20!"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Lmao
iReima: "...I'm not gonna get the job, am I?"
MitsukaiSiryuse: Yeah, I did that during one interview
MitsukaiSiryuse: I stared at the guy
MitsukaiSiryuse: And went ".....Uh......"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "Hold on, let me calculate it real quick...1985......17"
MitsukaiSiryuse: "I should just walk out, shouldn't I?"
iReima: We fail, my friend |
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