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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..123124125126127128129..596Next> |
#62312 (161/377) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zenith`> This porn sucks.
<Zenith`> Girl is sortof squatting on a dildo and I'm wondering why the camera man doesn't kick her legs out. |
#61152 (260/430) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to reproduce" |
#61115 (193/453) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^DX^> all day in class I thought I was sitting next to a gay asian kid
<^DX^> so I didn't want to look at him
<^DX^> then I finally looked and it was just a petite cute white girlComment: #SEO EFnet
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#61111 (183/447) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<farce> i was at a strip club and this hot little mexican girl showed me she was lactating
<feti> and you're like, put that shit back.
<farce> hell no.
<CJB2K686> you sucked ?
<farce> hell yeah.Comment: efnet/#php
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#62195 (183/433) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
paroute268: What is about:blank, can it hurt my PC? How do I get rid of it??? |
#61068 (133/333) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Ryan: Whats a good lie to fill some hours in? I have a day with nothing. lol
Andrew: uh.. something with orcs?
Ryan: lol, that would be telling the truth.
Andrew: thats sad
Ryan: I was playing WoW |
#61055 (329/567) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Curseoftantalus: How the HELL are ya doin?
PrimalDeicide: GOOD
Curseoftantalus: GREAT! That's GREAT to hear!
PrimalDeicide: AWESOME
Curseoftantalus: WONDERFUL!
Curseoftantalus: INCREDIBLE!
PrimalDeicide: INCREDULISTIC FABULOSIS!
Curseoftantalus: That's not funny man, my great grandmother died of that.
PrimalDeicide: She must have looked very good for the funeral.
Curseoftantalus: Fabulously incredible. |
#61053 (393/529) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Kat: They should make a NetFlicks for books!
Cassandra: they do
Cassandra: its called the library |
#61023 (201/443) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LinearA> so my boss emails me this resume for a 10AM interview
<LinearA> within 5 mins I trace the email address to a handle to an adultfriendfinder account.
<LinearA> !! Why can't people be more careful !!
<LinearA> "Need Hot Top To Fill Me UP!!" |
#60468 (-6/488) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<wind`> a blue shirt just bleeded onto some of my white shirts
<wind`> in the wash :(
<c-rOCK> way to not know how to do laundry
<wind`> i put it all in one load
<wind`> i figured it would speed up the process
<c-rOCK> and now youll like a fag with a soft blue shirt for it
<DigDug> wind`: and speed up the process you did
<DigDug> damn, i don't even wash different colors together
<DigDug> white + anything = heresy
<c-rOCK> thats what i say about interracial datingComment: #geekissues
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#61040 (324/534) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> Ahhhh, nothing like putting on a fresh pair of boxers :)
<Apollo> bleh, boxers
<Apollo> because having my dick wiggle its way out of my pants is so much fun. i prefer briefs
<Trinexx> yeah, because having your balls shoved up into your asshole is so much better |
#61017 (398/554) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged |
#60986 (2380/3102) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<itai> found a bug in the english wiki site :|
<Angela> what's the problem?
<itai> can't tell :x
<Gentgeen> that makes it hard to fix
<Angela> itai: could you explain where the bug is?
<itai> the site isn't secured
<JeLuF> secured?
<itai> yes
<itai> un protected
<Angela> anyone can edit it?
<itai> yesComment: irc.freenode.net #wikipedia
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#60954 (205/479) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The Ranger> it takes me a whole fucking hour these days to get out of bed since i'm off school for a bit...
<The Ranger> everytime i wake up early i subconsciously think "Great! that means i can get more done today..."
<The Ranger> but also i give myself a little more time in bed, and then when i get out half the day is gone =(
<The Ranger> i'm such a lazy ass
<The Ranger> how about you?
<HeYpReStO101> i have sunken back into getting up no earlier than 1 everyday
<HeYpReStO101> and i find that i seem to masturbating a lot more
<HeYpReStO101> double win |
#60940 (455/623) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> i still wonder why vegetarians aren't more pissed at animals
<@Rjx> i mean your average lion eats far more meat in a day than i do |
#60934 (465/639) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mikedep333> while I appreciate the attempt of ubuntu to be user friendly, automatically connecting to my neighbor's unencrypted wireless network is technically illegal for meComment: #ubuntu on freenode
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#61801 (676/816) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<descart3s> i heard some chick tell another chick to shut her "cock port" today
<descart3s> i almost died laughing |
#60850 (191/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[Lawnhorn]> man, that sucked
<[Lawnhorn]> got a knock on my door
<[Lawnhorn]> and two of my flatmates were there
<[Lawnhorn]> holding, on a plate, the pie I put in the oven at 12:40pm
<[Lawnhorn]> it could now be described as "ethnic" |
#61687 (268/408) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> Man, I just had quite a College Student moment
<CtrlAltDestroy> I was eating a slice of pizza, and a big glob of sauce fell onto my shirt
<CtrlAltDestroy> I looked around for some paper towels or napkins or whatever to wipe it off with
<CtrlAltDestroy> Couldn't find any
<CtrlAltDestroy> So I wiped it off with my shirt |
#61592 (304/548) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Khaos> Ok, so I was on a long, boring flight on sunday, ok?
<Khaos> the old lady sitting next to me was joking with the flight attendant, so when the attendant came to get our snack orders, the lady says, "Well, I'd have a nice sirloin."
<Khaos> The flight attendant played along, asking how she wanted that cooked.
<Khaos> As they were talking, I swear that the first thought that popped into my head was "Steak on a plane!"
<Khaos> I actually said this out loud. So now, I have a bruise on my arm from where the guy in the window seat hit me. |
#61355 (648/762) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mack> i totally got pwned by a spider this morning
<mack> there has been this garden spider living in the kitchen of my house, and i don't care because when summer nears it gets hot so flies come in and bug me...so i let him stay
<mack> so anyways. i wake up and grab my smokes and head for the sliding door to go out and have a smoke
<mack> i'm two feet away from the door when i walk into his web, and it scares the shit out of me cause i'm still half asleep
<mack> i stumble back and bump into the couch, flip over it as i lose my footing, and my legs crash into the coffee table, effectively splitting it in two
<mack> i'm laying there figuring out what just happened, and the spider bites my nose!
<mack> like HE'S having a bad day :/ |
#61203 (28/366) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Romykins> Well, grass is always greener on the other side etc etc
<Omi> That saying is so stupid
<Omi> Have you ever turned a bit of grass over? For a start, it's not green.
<Xa> A blade of grass or a field of grass?
<Omi> Field... cut a square of grass from a garden and turn it over. I'd love to meet the person who came up with that saying.
<Omi> I bet you the moron was colorblind. |
#60815 (269/523) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<don> bruce lee could fight all of the batmans (batmen?...) at once and he doesn't need any fancy gadets or a car or even a shirt
<don> just a wooden pole and some really cheesy zooms
<don> and whooshing noises when he punches
<don> that's not sound effects
<don> that's the air, scared of his fists, jumping out of the way
<don> there was literally no air resistance when that man moved
<don> it's a well known fact that every major earthquake in the 70's is attributable directly to the earth trying to get away from bruce lee |
#60788 (231/523) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Haohmaru77> a woman enters a vibrators shop,
<Haohmaru77> and shes all excited
<Haohmaru77> so she asks the vendor
<Haohmaru77> "do you sell vibrators?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<Haohmaru77> so the girl asks
<Haohmaru77> "do you know how they work?"
<Haohmaru77> and the guys like "yes"
<ichi_nii_san> .....
<Haohmaru77> so the girl, all excited, asks
<Haohmaru77> "could you tell me how to turn it off?" |
#60730 (232/442) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
08:22 <bjorn> ok, time for the daily commute! brb
08:23 <bjorn> backComment: he commutes from the bedroom to the living room to get to work
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