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#68185 (360/498) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
xyzzy: note to self - dont hit on homeschooled chicks
Bahamut Xero: especially during class |
#68143 (239/481) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nul1o> this pedo sees a kid hanging around near the edge of the cliff crying
<nul1o> so he looks areound and cant see anyone else round
<nul1o> so he goes up and asks the kid whatsup
<nul1o> and hes like, my dog just died, and on the way to the funeral we were in a car crash
<nul1o> and my parents drove off the cliff, I just manged to escape
<nul1o> and the pedos like its not your lucky day is it
<Biomech> so did you help him? |
#68041 (291/437) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<bubba> don't they have laws against lying in advertising?
<bubba> this coax cable i just bought says "Connects satellite and digital cable sources with no signal loss"
<glasnost> "Comes with complementary 'Fuck you, second law of thermodynamics' bumper sticker" |
#68026 (325/439) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Error_404: heh, everyone in this building except me is so nice
Error_404: their wifi BSSID's are all like... "dad's computer" or "smith family" or the default names
Error_404: and then mine's FUCKYOUDONTTOUCHMYSHIT |
#68018 (188/390) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rod> i wonder if that little RC plane with the camera on it could fly into some open windows and then drive around on the floor looking up ladies skirts
<Chris> too noisy
<Rod> all you need is a deaf girl and an open window
<Rod> and a questionable set of moral principles
<Chris> that's how lots of Rod's stories start
<Rod> most of them come from "101 Things To Do With A Deaf Girl, An Open Window, And A Questionable Set Of Moral Principles" by Noam Chomsky
<John> One of his lesser-known works.
<Rod> i dont want to spoil the book, but 99 of the 101 things are "Rape her."
<Rod> 101 is the plane and video camera thing
<Rod> you dont want to know about 100. it makes 1-99 look like ballroom fucking dancing |
#67817 (111/323) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Stormscape> oh man I love that alzheimers commercial. it shows an old guy bringing home a 1L of milk, then when the wife goes to put it in the fridge there's like 50 of them in there already |
#67780 (266/478) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
--> Jebus (Jebus@2ee923c5.cpe.net.cable.f33844f1.com.hmsk) has joined #nightgig
<poinko> jebus
<poinko> there's a black car parked in front of my house with a guy sitting in it
<poinko> it's been there for a good 10 minutes
<poinko> WHAT DO I DO
<Jebus> fap
<poinko> that's the best advice i've received all day |
#67755 (380/560) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Amika> what is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm
<RMD> going down on a girl and seeing she has a penis
<MrMog> the holocaust
<Amika> you guys are no fun |
#67650 (147/359) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Justin_Meisse> I think I may have conquered my nemisis, the bane of my existance, the evil bastard that's mocked me for so many years
<NoelCower> Your penis? |
#67416 (133/407) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
yeats: man
yeats: fuck it
yeats: if it's wrong, it's worng
yeats: lol worny
yeats: wtf
yeats: worny
yeats: ..
yeats: worng&
yeats: fuck this |
#67405 (160/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Phroziac> lol, my dad thought kelly clarkson was country
<HellDragon> lol
<HellDragon> wow
<TheBiggestGnome> wow?
<HellDragon> oops, i misreaded " my dad thought kelly clarkson was A country"
<Phroziac> LOL
<ajnewbold> "Today President Bush met with the leader of Kelly Clarkson for another round of missile talks." |
#67775 (76/210) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<turtlexiv> do you know of a built-in function to strip out possible extra info from the filename? i need to escape all back slash and forward slashes
<espantoso> back slash, forward slash, escape... sounds like OJ Simpson |
#67523 (138/302) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<North> In school I wrote on a desk "This desk is SERIOUS business"
<North> the next day, I saw under it "stfu" |
#67514 (129/285) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< marnanel> getting an email from the people you wrote a database app for ten years ago to say that it's still working fine... is an awesome thing.
<@tberman> marnanel: did it have money in it?
< marnanel> the email? no.
< marnanel> nor, I'm pleased to report, did it say "Would you do some free consultancy for us?"
< marnanel> Ah, I remember that app so well. It was distributed onto laptops with synchronisation when they were docked. And it printed letters. And it had a built-in macro language based on Forth. And it was written in Visual Basic.
< marnanel> I was young and foolish.Comment: #gnome-hackers
|
#67427 (113/315) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Angelic> In other news, Sony annonced that it's new game console, the PS3, would in fact NOT run games, and instead play VIRTUAL FUN DISKS which are totally different from games in all ways and should totally not be connected in any way to the "Game Industry" which the representitive speaking declared as "Childish" and "For Wimps,"
<Angelic> To go along with this bold declaration, he stated "YEA, YOU HEARD ME NINTENDO! YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF PUSSIES." |
#67551 (294/452) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Bulrog Cartman: Well, my sister got in an argument with her boyfriend in Monday, and when he walked out the door she punched the window in anger
LitlMsScareAll13: o_O
Bulrog Cartman: Lost some blood, got light-headed, I had to call 911
LitlMsScareAll13: Wonderful.
Bulrog Cartman: Her right hand is all bandaged up now, she won't be using it for 10 days
Bulrog Cartman: She gets to pay for the window too, although she can easily afford that
Bulrog Cartman: and she works with her mouth, so the hand won't be a huge problem
Bulrog Cartman: wait, that came out wrong
LitlMsScareAll13: ..........
Bulrog Cartman: She's a telemarketer |
#67456 (214/342) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Shaezerus> Sep 21, 2006 Play-Asia.com Order #------- received.
<Shaezerus> Jan 01, 1970 Play-Asia.com Order #------- shipped!
<Shaezerus> Fucking timetraveling import stores.
<Koushiro> And it *still* hasn't arrived! |
#67390 (421/571) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<eieioh> i completely trashed my vocal cords this weekend while playing a few gigs with my band..i'm not supposed to talk
<eieioh> tonight i was at work and they put me on delivery instead of in the kitchen like i usually do
<eieioh> i made nine deliveries before 8, when we stop delivering..and all but two of the customers called to complain that i was rude and impolite because i didn't say anything
<eieioh> and my boss, whenever someone complains, wants the person who was complained about to apologize to the person complaining
<eieioh> but my boss wouldn't let me because of my voice. but finally i got tired of people calling..so i told him to let me take it
<eieioh> here's what i said to everyone.."sir/ma'am, i apologize for your dissatisfaction but i have esophagal cancer and this job is helping me pay my chemotherapy expenses."
<eieioh> my boss and i were laughing so hard, but it hurt so much to laugh i nearly puked.
<eieioh> one of them came in to give me a tip. :D |
#67344 (174/298) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<netcrusher88> Sloloem says he found one of the old-style TTY things sitting around
<netcrusher88> the ones that look like old modems
<netcrusher88> he says once in a while they turn it on and scream into it to make it show random characters |
#67376 (149/281) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SuperJuan> ffs
<SuperJuan> why doesn't the jobcentre website have a section for "jobs where you can irc and smoke weed at work"
<smilertoo> they do, they're listed under tech support |
#67367 (171/293) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> 14.10. The BLACKHOLE Storage Engine
<@Rjx> The BLACKHOLE storage engine acts as a "black hole" that accepts data but throws it away and does not store it. Retrievals always return an empty result:
<@Rjx> this is the best mysql feature yet |
#67338 (195/367) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jsz> i wouldnt hit it
<jsz> looks like everyone else already has
<sour> she's a virgin
<jsz> bullshit.
<jsz> shes been down on more guys than a small site under the slashdot effect |
#67334 (376/508) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@oBs> LOL
<@oBs> This is an Apple delivery number. Your goods have not yet shipped from our warehouse and have not yet been passed on to our logistics carrier, therefore your reference number has not yet been passed on to our carriers, as a result I am unable to give you your logistics carrier reference number yet as it has not yet been created.
<@oBs> I will check on your order later today to see if your logistics number has been created and e-mail you the latest status. It is still too early at the moment to provide you with this information.
<@oBs> i have the computer at my house
<@oBs> right now |
#67322 (191/351) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< fr00t> hey you guys are gonna hate me for this but I'm wondering if you know of any serial box's for a windows, all the serial site infect cookies or are contaminated wiht porn
< orange8> contaminated with porn?
< orange8> i think you mean enhanced |
#67342 (132/286) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<goldfish> datagram, highschools throw away blackboards when they "upgrade" to whiteboards
<goldfish> KEEPING THE BLACKBOARD DOWN |
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