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#7124 (71/224) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Chum> I told them I was a 16 year old female that would put out if given a beta account.
<Kash> yea, i'm going to be female to
#16857 (71/209) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200 bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude
#3290 (71/273) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than me
(snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/
#16602 (71/255) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key
#6387 (71/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today
<xsneakerx> was he cute?
<yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean.
<yabba> I think he may have been jesus.
#9974 (71/241) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Brianetta_afe > There's this other girl, who says she "values out friendship but..."
Brianetta_afe > and this continues:
Brianetta_afe > "... I wish it was more."
Josh_afe > lol, she's talking about your co...oh, never mind.
#23802 (71/245) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nanobot> I wish I had a girlfriend...
<Nanobot> My only friend is a sock puppet
<Nanobot> Lucky for me though, it has a hole in it
#298766 (72/156) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< amee2k> fow: provided i had enough to drink, i'll satisfy your every desire :)
< fow> :o
< fow> amee2k, including the one where Left4Dead works on my laptop through Wine?
#15634 (72/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read
#36883 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was
#4372 (72/283) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis
#41236 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sock_Monkee> i used to read choose your own adventures all the time. then i realized how fucking dumb they were
<mog> Sock_Monkee: That's because you're not supposed to read the pages in order, you fucking idiot
#17946 (72/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a pretty tricky business
#6206 (72/265) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Welcome to ftp.idsoftware.com
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Connection from logged
<kadafi:#916> You are user 201 of 200 available connections.
<kadafi:#916> IM USER 201 BEYOTCH
#62028 (72/390) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sonic> nah, for the enterprise and server systems I think, they want to compete with Linux' ZEN
<dtm> oh holy crap.. did i just see a person pretend that a word is a plural and make a plural possessive based on the idea that the end of the sound of the ending consonant SOUNDS like an "s"?
<dtm> this is some kind of recursively regressive anti-grammar
<dtm> what's next?  "I'" instead of "my"?
Comment: #zsnes on freenode
#42849 (72/206) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<aeon> As much as I love sitting at my computer for weeks at a time designing brochures, websites, logos, and maintaining a webserver..
<aeon> I might go clean my car.
<aeon> my fiance wrote " I LOVE YOU " with a grape jelly doughnut on my driver-side window and it just hasn't quite completely come off yet...
#2923 (72/236) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<michael-> shut up
<michael-> i sucked a lot of cock to get where i am today
<kisama> heh
<kisama> at least you got to suck cock and not be ass raped like the rest of us
#4207 (72/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<eldeesux0r> i used to think lysol was a lice repellent
<eldeesux0r> one day i sprayed it in my hair before i went to school cuz they were doing lice checks
<eldeesux0r> i got a rash :|
#31343 (72/378) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<funk> \o/ <-- person in posession of pie
#310640 (72/114) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ChauffeR> what's the name of the mission that fucked up because they didn't use meters
<OyajiVyse> America?
#373 (72/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Flobbster> Haw, my computer doesn't like for ZipMagic to access a zip in a zip
in a zip on a parallel port Zip drive :D
<redslime> a zip in a zip in a zip on a zip?
#2941 (72/252) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D
#243326 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse
#13446 (72/273) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole new respect for women
#44942 (72/208) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[sync]> Windows Services for Unix destroyed my windows installation
<[sync]> Microsoft: this is what you get, traitor
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