QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#2941 (72/252) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D
#243326 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse
#13446 (72/273) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole new respect for women
#44942 (72/208) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[sync]> Windows Services for Unix destroyed my windows installation
<[sync]> Microsoft: this is what you get, traitor
#309398 (72/80) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer
#39831 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<becci> where do you go to find out if a dentist is legit?
<spilt> hehe
<spilt> 1800DENTIST
<effnet> well
<effnet> if hes using rusty plyers to pull your teeth out
<effnet> he might not be legit
<spilt> she wants to know before i think
<becci> what if he works on your teeth for 2.5 hours and keeps saying "oh my...that's a lot of blood"
<becci> and "that etch really stops the bleeding good"
<effnet> toof had some dental work but her teeth are so big they had to use a jack hammer to operate on them
<luminol> if your zipper is down when the antesthesia wears off
<withnail> then your first treatment is free
<becci> can you guys shut the fuck up
#1433 (72/288) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Foo1> BOW TO ME
<Foo1> (*#$(*$#
*** Foo1 was kicked by Evel (WOOOOO I JUST KICKED JESUS FROM AN IRC CHANNEL!@##!@!@#!@#)
#298906 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail polish and listerine
<vartopia> that you shoplifted
#310171 (72/92) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#288157 (72/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
sietoba: sorry i did that thing wheres you say one thing but youre thinking of a mother
#2472 (72/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ArAgOn__> Dyckert: If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?
#31152 (72/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[moose]KT> Quoting bash.org is like masturbating, people know you do it
#7352 (72/250) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@[ben]> youd be suprised how many pancakes that mouth has masticated
<@[ben]> and yes, i spelt the last word right
#10946 (72/234) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* wrostek [~wrostek@HSE-Toronto-ppp296735.sympatico.ca] has joined #root
<wrostek> can anyone tell me if its possible to get windows ME to boot to the command prompt and not load windows?
<Varak> ask in #windows
<wrostek> They dont know
<Varak> big suprise
<Varak> go ask in #cisco, they are really helpful with windows questions too
<wrostek> ok thanks
#14787 (72/254) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the contents of your
nostrils into a trash can
#16602 (72/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key
#18398 (72/259) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jitspoe> my hard drive is clicking
<jitspoe> it's the one that fell on my foot and freaked me out :)
<jitspoe> all of a sudden something somewhat large and warm landed on my foot
<jitspoe> ... and i had my pants on
#15850 (72/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out
#18931 (72/229) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pizzathie> sex? what's that?
<Foole> pr0n without a camera
<pizzathie> I must have been doing something wrong at school
<Foole> i did lots of wrong things at school
#45815 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women.
#8962 (73/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff
#310284 (73/113) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bionicfen> I am starting to get tired of my aspie friend staying in my guest room
<bionicfen> it smells of balls
<bionicfen> because he is having A Sad and not showering
<JDigital> help him into the shower like that time in King of the Hill where the bald one is having a sad
<bionicfen> oh my god my friend is Bill
<bionicfen> jesus fuckiing christ JD you son of a bitch
<bionicfen> I had not made this connection
<bionicfen> Like all he's missing is the ex wife
<bionicfen> man globalization is an amazing thing
<bionicfen> an Northern Irish dungeon master manages to completely grasp the essence of a man I've known for 15 years in a single sentence, referencing a cartoon television show
#18446 (73/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
#1044 (73/239) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<digdug> i think i've come up with a solution to my problem
<digdug> i'll just put each [previously misconfigured NT] box into its own domain
<digdug> mwuahahahah
<h2odragon> digdug: you are in Hell; all you can do is push the rock up a different wall for a while
<h2odragon> it's still going to roll back down
#32534 (73/335) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Lizking unzips pants
* Lizking reveals CHAINSAW PENIS
*** Lizking has been kicked off channel #voices by JB (No one wants to see that.)
Comment: #voices on darkmyst
save page | share <Prev1..585586587588589590591Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,773 quotes approved; 8,802 fermenting; karma: 189.3752