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#1905 (72/257) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.
#2941 (72/252) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> the only effect cocaine really has is it makes you want more cocaine :D
#37502 (72/178) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< leary> how many people does it take to have an organized religion?
< leary> cause i got an idea
< Systat> 2
< Systat> one to preach and one to beleive the bullshit
#243326 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Anarkii> Security staff in the airport's Qantas domestic terminal discovered a number of passengers had made it to their gate just before 6.30pm (AEST) without proper security screening
<+brad`> how can you tell someone hasnt been properly screened?
<rioter> brad` they are not walking like they just got fucked in the arse
#13446 (77/278) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Demanicus> Well if this is how a period feels I have a whole new respect for women
#44942 (72/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[sync]> Windows Services for Unix destroyed my windows installation
<[sync]> Microsoft: this is what you get, traitor
#309398 (72/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer
#39831 (72/144) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<becci> where do you go to find out if a dentist is legit?
<spilt> hehe
<spilt> 1800DENTIST
<effnet> well
<effnet> if hes using rusty plyers to pull your teeth out
<effnet> he might not be legit
<spilt> she wants to know before i think
<becci> what if he works on your teeth for 2.5 hours and keeps saying "oh my...that's a lot of blood"
<becci> and "that etch really stops the bleeding good"
<effnet> toof had some dental work but her teeth are so big they had to use a jack hammer to operate on them
<luminol> if your zipper is down when the antesthesia wears off
<withnail> then your first treatment is free
<becci> can you guys shut the fuck up
#45975 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch.  At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek
#298906 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail polish and listerine
<vartopia> that you shoplifted
#2472 (72/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ArAgOn__> Dyckert: If your parents got divorced, would they still be cousins?
#31152 (72/272) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[moose]KT> Quoting bash.org is like masturbating, people know you do it
#7352 (72/250) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@[ben]> youd be suprised how many pancakes that mouth has masticated
<@[ben]> and yes, i spelt the last word right
#10946 (72/234) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* wrostek [~wrostek@HSE-Toronto-ppp296735.sympatico.ca] has joined #root
<wrostek> can anyone tell me if its possible to get windows ME to boot to the command prompt and not load windows?
<Varak> ask in #windows
<wrostek> They dont know
<Varak> big suprise
<Varak> go ask in #cisco, they are really helpful with windows questions too
<wrostek> ok thanks
#14019 (72/238) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ion-> at least she has correctly proportioned genetalia
<ion-> within two standard deviations from the mean
#14787 (72/254) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<colrebel> i hate it when a coworker spots you blowing the contents of your
nostrils into a trash can
#16602 (72/256) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key
#18398 (72/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jitspoe> my hard drive is clicking
<jitspoe> it's the one that fell on my foot and freaked me out :)
<jitspoe> all of a sudden something somewhat large and warm landed on my foot
<jitspoe> ... and i had my pants on
#15850 (72/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Po|2N`GotSex> ok everyone this is the most funniest thing that has happended to me in years....
<@Po|2N`GotSex> my g/f mom found out we fucked
<ownsya> lol
<@Po|2N`GotSex> and we sat and talked it out
#18931 (72/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pizzathie> sex? what's that?
<Foole> pr0n without a camera
<pizzathie> I must have been doing something wrong at school
<Foole> i did lots of wrong things at school
#45815 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Error404> Why would a girl tell me that 2 guys just asked her out.
<Error404> Think she wants me to ask her out?
<Akamu> Error404: Mabey she thinks you're gay and is offering you the one whe doesn't choose.
<Error404> fuck you whore I need advice quickly
<Syntacs> She's probably just trying to make you jealous.
<Syntacs> Tell her you just married 3 women.
#8962 (73/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* hals masturbiert zu: Mudvayne - dig
<shawnporn> is that german?
<hals> it is
<shawnporn> germans masturbate to some weird stuff
#310284 (73/113) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bionicfen> I am starting to get tired of my aspie friend staying in my guest room
<bionicfen> it smells of balls
<bionicfen> because he is having A Sad and not showering
<JDigital> help him into the shower like that time in King of the Hill where the bald one is having a sad
<bionicfen> oh my god my friend is Bill
<bionicfen> jesus fuckiing christ JD you son of a bitch
<bionicfen> I had not made this connection
<bionicfen> Like all he's missing is the ex wife
<bionicfen> man globalization is an amazing thing
<bionicfen> an Northern Irish dungeon master manages to completely grasp the essence of a man I've known for 15 years in a single sentence, referencing a cartoon television show
#18446 (73/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RoyalBlood> hes like "my dad tells me all about cars cuz he downloads them from the internet" ...
<RoyalBlood> i would have slapped him if i was closer
* Fembot knows all about women 'cause he d/l's them off the Internet
#32534 (73/335) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Lizking unzips pants
* Lizking reveals CHAINSAW PENIS
*** Lizking has been kicked off channel #voices by JB (No one wants to see that.)
Comment: #voices on darkmyst
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