QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#1905 (71/256) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fustard> oh good god
<Fustard> i was just thinking of something to myself
<Fustard> and out loud i said
<Fustard> 'laugh out loud'
<Fustard> instead of actually laughing.
#33393 (71/287) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pott> now i'm no big fan of the strokes
<pott> but their new single is good
<Chris[ni]> i dont like the strokes either, and i havnt heard theyre new single, so i will not judge it until i have heard it
<Chris[ni]> but its bound to be shit
<pott> fuck you
#309884 (71/125) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Mondale (~Mondale@CPE-120-148-236-70.hdqu1.vic.bigpond.net.au) has joined #fountain_pens
<kerin> sup, nerd
<Mondale> sup nerd
<kerin> punctuatin'
<kerin> to a limited extent
<kerin> you?
<Mondale> wtf does that mean
<kerin> it's a contraction of "punctuating"
<kerin> which means applying punctuation to sentences
<Mondale> why would you need to do that?
<kerin> "to a limited extent" indicates that this punctuation is incomplete
<Mondale> yes, but why
<kerin> because punctuation provides additional clarity when parsing sentences
<kerin> and my closing "you?" is digressing to inquire, out of politeness, about whatever tragically uninteresting bullshit you occupy your time with
<jrvc> OH BURN
#37502 (71/177) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< leary> how many people does it take to have an organized religion?
< leary> cause i got an idea
< Systat> 2
< Systat> one to preach and one to beleive the bullshit
#20867 (71/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<revolver> "whatevah, whatevah, it's mah hot body and ah'll do what ah want."
<DirtyPunk> revolver: Until you're in prison with a man bigger than you.
<DirtyPunk> ;)
<revolver> d'oh
#9100 (71/240) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Ryo curses his swiss-cheese memory
* Grue curses his fondue memory. It's all melty and stuff. o_o;
#37005 (71/219) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#310413 (71/77) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(aaaaaaaaa) I know people at work that actually store files in the recycle bin. As in, they store files they plan to use in the future there. IT had to stop deleting files from it because of people's work was getting lost and had to be restored from the backups.
#8592 (71/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<halos> i went to lunch with a couple co-workers and before we left they both
+went to the bathroom
<halos> when they came back out I asked, "Who won?"
#309398 (71/79) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< BronzeEagle> I just found a floppy disk in my desk that says "women = evil"
< Frostypants> :D
< o11c> you still have a floppy drive, and were patient enough to put it in?
< BronzeEagle> Negative and negative
< o11c> then how did you know what it says?
< BronzeEagle> It's written on the label
* o11c forgets sometimes that there is a physical layer
#37015 (71/199) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mercury> emacs sucks, literally, not an insult, just a comment that its large enough to have a noticeable gravitational pull...Comment: #debian-devel
#298648 (71/145) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Dave2> h*tp://www wristbands.co.uk/wristbands-textag.htm is the bands, fwiw
< amee2k> wtf? they have wristbands that you crimp onto your arm?
< amee2k> i'd feel like a piece of ethernet cable if they did that on my arm :P
< PeanutHorst> you mean you don't feel like a piece of ethernet cable normally?
< fow> I don't. I only have one male end. I'm actually okay with that.
#7124 (71/224) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Chum> I told them I was a 16 year old female that would put out if given a beta account.
<Kash> yea, i'm going to be female to
#16857 (71/209) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200 bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude
#3290 (71/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(^NaKeD^) snowburnt....my bf is a million times stronger than me
(snowburnt) Naked: but smell isnt everything though :/
#16602 (71/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Baledood> fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftggggtfggggff
<Baledood> oops
<Baledood> sorry, was fishing a crumb from under the F key
#6387 (71/248) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<yabba> I fucked a homeless man today
<xsneakerx> was he cute?
<yabba> no.. but he had no shoes... and his feet were clean.
<yabba> I think he may have been jesus.
#9974 (71/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Brianetta_afe > There's this other girl, who says she "values out friendship but..."
Brianetta_afe > and this continues:
Brianetta_afe > "... I wish it was more."
Josh_afe > lol, she's talking about your co...oh, never mind.
#23802 (71/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nanobot> I wish I had a girlfriend...
<Nanobot> My only friend is a sock puppet
<Nanobot> Lucky for me though, it has a hole in it
#15634 (72/270) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<drunkers> do you know who i am?
<vinnieT> nope
<drunkers> i could rip your eyes out and stick them in your knee and make your knee read a book
<vinnieT> i dont read
#36883 (72/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
mistercow43: but I thought I'd tell you how insane I am
mistercow43: i find a hot dog in the fridge
mistercow43: I think
mistercow43: "ok, I'll have a cheese dog"
mistercow43: I look
mistercow43: no cheese, except parmesan
mistercow43: no hotdog buns
mistercow43: in fact
mistercow43: no bread except for pita and tortilla
mistercow43: so naturally
mistercow43: I fried an egg
mistercow43: put it on the hot dog
mistercow43: put some italian pasta sauce on it
mistercow43: and some parmesan cheese
mistercow43: and nuked it for 30 seconds
Narso310: LOL
Narso310: was it good?
mistercow43: yes
mistercow43: yes it was
#4372 (72/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DrFurious> if midgets had regular size penises they could take pictures of themselves in a minature house and decieve people into thinking they are normal sized with a huge penis
#41236 (72/160) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sock_Monkee> i used to read choose your own adventures all the time. then i realized how fucking dumb they were
<mog> Sock_Monkee: That's because you're not supposed to read the pages in order, you fucking idiot
#17946 (72/246) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Smaointe> giving birth to anything made of glass would be a pretty tricky business
#6206 (72/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Welcome to ftp.idsoftware.com
<kadafi:#916> -----------------------------
<kadafi:#916> Connection from logged
<kadafi:#916> You are user 201 of 200 available connections.
<kadafi:#916> IM USER 201 BEYOTCH
save page | share <Prev1..584585586587588589590591Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,753 quotes approved; 8,826 fermenting; karma: 189.4205