QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#29243 (61/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sir haides>  you wanna know what i did?
<sir haides>  you're going to _love_ this.
<hile>  sure
<sir haides>  i inserted an Aqua cd.
<sir haides>  the band.
<sir haides> Aqua crashed my mac.
<sir haides> fucking ironic.
<sir haides> ain't it?
#1090 (61/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(MC_SpEcS) huggles...who are you?
(tiko-out) the blond chick who tried to suck you off @ God Is A DJ
(tiko-out) unless you got multiple blond chicks offering that
(tiko-out) she's the one who looked like a blonde muppet
#21840 (61/278) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Coota> Hmmm... I'm in a dilemma. I'm in love with accents, especially British ones, but I don't like fat girls. Now, the girl who wants to make out with me *does* have an accent, but she is a little overweight... what to do...
<PatPandaHat> make her exercise before you'll make out with her.
<Coota> Pat: Hee. Tell her I have a minimum PFT score requirement before I make out with a girl? ;)
<Darien> tell her it's a religious thing
<PatPandaHat> "Sorry, I don't do pork unless it's lean."
#10071 (61/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zero> I had a totally hot chemistry teacher once. She used to always say "Uh huh." and show her ass. Win XP is like that.
#600 (61/291) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[17:05] <thinkmad> christ man
[17:05] <thinkmad> i just caught my dad jerking off
#307814 (61/143) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Raija> what does it feel like to use a penis, though?
<Skarlet> wuh?
<Skarlet> you don't know?
<Fritz> It feels awesome!
<+Raija> I mean, what does it feel like to fuck something with a penis
<Fritz> The power of the world in the palm if your hand
#44140 (61/155) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<biounix> i am building this little inventory system for work
<biounix> a side project because shit seems to disappear
<biounix> and we need to keep track of stuff right
<_stan> you need help with the fraud module?
<biounix> haha
<biounix> what type of fraud module?
<_stan> the kind that can pull shit out of the inventory so you can steal it, of course.
<biounix> nah
<biounix> i dont steal shit from work
<_stan> yeah, because you don't have a fraud module.
<biounix> hahahaha
#9589 (61/295) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CMR> We're having a solar eclipse!
<RJR> Oo! Where?
#201343 (61/187) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[+CJ] i didnt know the pentagon was in the shape of a pentagon till i saw it on transformers movieComment: call him an idiot at irc.swiftirc.net #swiftkit
#113791 (61/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<druggy> i heard something about the us army having some solvers of battlefield problems which behave like rts bots
<longshock> so they stockpile resources then do wave after wave of tank rushes?
#16512 (61/247) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KagoniKnight>: You know how sometimes a dog humps your leg?
<Pong-Chan>: .....
<KagoniKnight>: Well, sometimes, why not hump back and show who's boss!!
#5519 (61/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<scoob-e> i got in a fight with the lady at CVS cuz she wouldnt develop the picture of my cock
#916 (61/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cactor> I'm gonna put some oragel on my dick and stick it in some bitches mouth
<|Chris> what are you gonna do when she bites your dick off
<|Chris> cause she can't feel her mouth
<cactor> uh I dunno
<cactor> smack her probably
#308884 (61/325) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ss23> my nose is getting really sore, I think its from eating really spicy stuff with a cold
<ShaggyTwoDope> random rule of life
<ShaggyTwoDope> better your nose then your butt
<cksdayoff> Shaggy, did u learn that rule in prison
#3734 (61/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tomg> old, ancient, shouldn't be used, replaced with something better
<[ric]> yeh, like the excuses I get when I am dumped
#4776 (61/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ToiletDuk> i'm known as the boston poonmangler
<Lucent> yet you are in atlanta?
<ToiletDuk> jeup
<ToiletDuk> that's why i own
#29112 (61/265) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dekkon> i wonder what it takes to join the cia
<Ken-wr0k> suck a lot of dick
<Dekkon> then your mom must be way up there in the ranks
#1212 (61/312) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<g> <FedAg455> hey wanna meet with me for some sex? im 13/f/canada, wanna meet in usa in front of brooklyn police department?
<g> <cooey> how do i know you are 14 D:
#33213 (61/227) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Signoff: disp (Killed (NickServ (Ghost: disposal!disp@syru229-149.syr.edu)))
*** disp (disp@syru229-149.syr.edu) has joined channel #fark
<disp> i am fucking stupid
<disp> from my experience
<goatasaur> took you long enough
<disp> it was on auto reconnect
<disp> i did it manually
<disp> while it was reconnecting
<disp> and then i sat on the server
<disp> thinking i was in the channel
<goatasaur> no, i mean it took you long enough to figure out you're fucking stupid
Comment: #fark on irvingnet.net
#4800 (61/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lewpoo> whats the most advanced topic in java?
<joeblowgt> lewpoo: not getting kickbanned in #java
#11725 (61/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* mode [+im] by Lucy
* mode [-im] by Lucy
* Lucy [Lucy@cr854151-a.baol1.on.wave.home.com] has left #gr []
<Temujin> ..
<Lurker> Lucy sneezed on her touchscreen
#17359 (61/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
�+kennyv� drakkhen: heh, a buddy of mine offered me a p3 800mhz for 80 bucks about a year ago
�+kennyv� but i was like "GRRR FUCK INTEL BITCH"
�+kennyv� then i carved an amd logo into my chest with an old isa sound card
#307156 (61/147) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Pizzicato: In my head, the way the defence budget in the states is handled is some dude pules up to a drive-thru window at a huge factory and a voice crackles over the intercom
Pizzicato: 'Hi, welcome to the DoD! How can I help you?'
Pizzicato: The guys looks at the menu and goes 'Uhhhhhhhh I'll take....2,433 F-35s, 30 Virginia class submarines, a fleet of V-22s, FA-18EFs, and another fleet of EA-18Gs'.
Pizzicato: Then the dude on the intercom says 'Okay, that will be 137 billion dollars, please pull around to the second window!'
Comment: #EquestriaAfterDark on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
#309461 (61/91) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* strcat just has to figure out how to integrate it into the build process :)
<cmr> good luck
<cmr> those makefiles look like small animals could get lost and die in them
#303832 (61/83) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s
save page | share <Prev1..581582583584585586

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,631 quotes approved; 9,273 fermenting; karma: 190.3301