QDB: Bottom of the Barrel
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#306046 (57/77) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
skyhawk2891_: captchas will be the death of me
skyhawk2891_: one day a man will hold a gun to my head, show me a captcha, and say "WHAT DOES THIS SAY OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT"
skyhawk2891_: and that's how I will die
#309377 (57/117) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Zetetic> What's the extra four-digit code on my library card?
<Tonitrus> Missile access code
<Tonitrus> For emergencies
<Zetetic> Even our government isn't that stupid
* Zetetic hopes
<akkark> what does it read?
<Zetetic> Four digits
<Zetetic> I'd tell you, but I'm worried Tonitrus is right
<Zetetic> So I don't want to say it on a public channel
#30857 (57/257) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<FireEgl> I'm hurngy.
<tito> why don't you eat your dick
<FireEgl> nah, I'm saving it for emergencies.
#1936 (57/245) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<fimmtiu>  asylum, then your disk is full. *shrug*  Wield rm -f wildly.
<asylum_>  fimmtiu. yeah right dude.
<DemoN>  rm -f is too slow.  newfs.
<rudefix>  hell, i just prefer to take the disk out and lick it!
#6812 (57/302) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(user1) whio'
(user1) is awke?!?2
(user1) aggha
(user1) aned to think i oepratd a motr vejcal
#56732 (57/271) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Throgan> Oh, speaking of Monty Python, I think Terry Gilliam is doing some thing on PBS about the number 1.
<cookiemonster> Leave it to Monty Python to make an entire show about piss.
#13732 (57/241) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[-FeC-]sKratch> PENISES
<[-FeC-]sKratch> random penis, sorry
<Kwyjimbo> i understand
<Kwyjimbo> i once did that while giving a speech in class...
<Kwyjimbo> i never did do to good in that class after that
#32678 (57/339) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< ryeske> thats one thing i think lacks from bash.org actually, is that it doesnt show the server/channel
< blackbart> on bash.cx, people often stick the server/channel in the comment
< blackbart> bash.cx is better anyway, in fact, i'm officially deprecating bash.org
Comment: this didn't pass moderation at bash.org
#21940 (57/237) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[krys] mmm salad
[hoho] salad is what food eats
[krys] then i guess im food
[krys] soooo EAT ME BITCH
#304564 (57/101) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nwg> any experience with drag events in JS?
<Mortchek> well last night I *was* wearing a skirt while coding
#103864 (57/135) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kojispruke> I always claim to know how to play chess
<Kojispruke> and then I piss off my opponent when I start playing checkers
<Kojispruke> >_>
#2240 (57/247) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Aiko> i have sex like i just got out of prison and about to go back in
#302032* (?/93) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISH
Comment: My first day on IRC
#29915 (57/287) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* dark_gift strikes george michael pose again
<Sutekh> dg, you have a perfectly round bottom!
<Sutekh> scientists calibrate their instruments with it!
#309242 (57/81) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
#38914 (58/152) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Hidatoshi> the pizza person FORGOT MY FUCKING PIZZA
<Hidatoshi> he gave me one pizza
<Hidatoshi> and I was like
<Hidatoshi> "Uh where's the other one?"
<Hidatoshi> He looked at the recent and said "Oh shit."
<Hidatoshi> "I'll be right back."
#302087 (58/106) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<pokoko222> are you guys allowed graphing calculators on exams?
<amine> no
* Kage is
* dx is not
<pokoko222> why i dont get it
<pokoko222> it is dumb
<dx> It depends on the exam
<pokoko222> why waste time finding 6 points when i can just push a button
<lament> that's my perspective on foreplay
#8472 (58/232) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic"
#39708 (58/214) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
GS_TheProf on a motivation scale of 1 to 10
GS_TheProf im at weed
#7968 (58/262) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Second-Child> spring rolls? isn't ben vegetarian?
<tef> maybe he doesn't count cat as meat?
#298790 (58/156) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Luv_Guru> Those girls are def. Japanese.
<pikapo0> no korean
<Seretonin> so they're just like japanese girls, but they can play starcraft
Comment: #tr
#20266 (58/210) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[2:19pm]�@ bobmudd� i'll trade my g/f for your hd
[2:19pm] <SPLIT> hmmm
[2:19pm]�@ cdawg� heh i will trade mine for a rock......
#44332 (58/154) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Ajlax1872: my dick has like this bubble on it, pretty small though...i dunno what to do.
ROFLMFAOCOPTER99: you were the one that got poison ivy on your hand when we went on the hike right?
Ajlax1872: ...
Ajlax1872 signed off at 9:25:31 PM.
#19002 (58/244) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<p0tat03> How to Score, Chapter 4: Make Sure You Have a Pimpin Suit
<Hyde> How to score, Chapter 5: alcohol is your friend
#16979 (58/208) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mgt> i can't find any good porn anymore tho
<mgt> i like reading stories now
<mgt> it gets my imagination going
<mgt> the trick is getting yourself to actually believe they are true
<mgt> and not written by some fat horny star trek fan
save page | share <Prev1..583584585586587588Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,603 quotes approved; 9,408 fermenting; karma: 190.5293