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#6785 (69/232) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LordSuggs> and i got a new 19" monitor at work
<DeLorean> I can just imagine THAT interview; "...and how big was the monitor at your last job?"
<LordSuggs> heh
<LordSuggs> well my monitor isnt the only thing about me thats massive ;)
<DeLorean> heh
<DeLorean> ego
#8070 (69/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<whippy-X> Max Payne (the game) looks cool, but Max Payne (the character) looks like he's taking a perpetual shit
<whippy-X> and it's a bit of a ghey name too eh? Max Payne. get it? Max PAIN. very lame. how about he just calls himself Action Man.
#310413 (69/75) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(aaaaaaaaa) I know people at work that actually store files in the recycle bin. As in, they store files they plan to use in the future there. IT had to stop deleting files from it because of people's work was getting lost and had to be restored from the backups.
#45975 (69/157) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch.  At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek
#5531 (69/181) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Anton> my unhairy mates have better luck than me with women
<Spooky> shitty
<Spooky> I figure keep your spirits up and standards low
#310171 (69/89) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#5309 (69/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zexion> Jewdass: well thats what I do when I want to get totally wasted... get some GOOD pot and drink a LOT of GOOD vodka
<|Ogreboy|> <Zexion> we call those weekdays
#78535 (69/339) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(TheNoxinator) how big is a 425 MB file?
(TheNoxinator) big or huge?
#53962 (69/277) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warbird> omg... the latest ooga-booga critical super important must install now security patch from M$ didn't require a reboot!!
* warbird faints
#56271 (69/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< WakkoWRNR> I am a proud member of PETA
< WakkoWRNR> People Eating Tasty Animals
#4827 (69/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Luney> i dunno i took an icq test and it said 180
#5603 (69/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Khamosis> Man
<Khamosis> this is so awesome
<Khamosis> I'm playing Nethack right after I installed my GF4
#5611 (69/275) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#2805 (69/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd.  She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen."  She goes "I just saw goonies.  Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?"  "Yes."  *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line
#41997 (70/158) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ace_Reaper> ..i don't think god really will be happy with you burning the churchs
<Ste> He destroys them in floods and stuff all the time
<Ace_Reaper> yes but see thats HIM doing it
<Ace_Reaper> its like playing Simcity
<Ace_Reaper> you don't mind setting a hurricane on your city
<Ace_Reaper> but your pissed if one comes along naturally
#16655 (70/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
#310554* (?/142) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Elena>  man, an ill-fitting nazi uniform is just a disgrace. like, if you're willing to shoulder all that comes with wearing a frickin nazi uniform, don't half-ass it
<Josh>  What are you, some sort of Nazi nazi?
<Elena>  yes
i will totally nazi how people nazi
<Josh>  I did nazi that coming.
<Elena>  alright, we've hit critical godwin, that's it, shut down everything
#46370 (70/154) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent
#40995 (70/164) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION"
#301620 (70/142) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<max621> you built him a NAS out of transistors?
<TuxThePenguin> he was struggling to make whatever stupid circuit when we were mising one 4-gate NAND chip
<max621> lol
<TuxThePenguin> and I was like
<TuxThePenguin> "bitch I'll make it out of transistors"
<TuxThePenguin> he's all
<TuxThePenguin> "nuh uh"
<TuxThePenguin> long story short we failed the assignment
#36410 (70/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<laurent> ls
<laurent> ls
<laurent> err
<laurent> duh this isn't a shell
#37441 (70/190) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@g> ive been cleaning my room on and off all day
<@g> got rid of like 6-7 bags of trash :x
<%Luffy> I've been thrusting all day...beat that ?.?
<@g> i dont want to beat anything of yours o.o
#16708 (70/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
#3660 (70/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FlipTopBox> oooh!  i want a p'zone!
<mightyflo> "we tried spelling 'pizza' and 'calzone' but we fucked up."
<FlipTopBox> i was thinking more like "we were trying to find the most annoying name possible."
#2893 (70/254) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Berzerker> i shit too big
<Berzerker> i clog up the toilet without using toilet paper
<Berzerker> my parents think i use too much
<Berzerker> and im starting to get in trouble for doing it
<Berzerker> i dont wanna tell them "i shit big, sorry"
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