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#20395 (74/246) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@PHiZ> "If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family."
<@Riyan|Work> "one eyed mutant children welcome here"
#24239 (74/262) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TO> ppl think im gay when they first meat me sometimes
#306617 (74/90) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Malice> Did I tell you Velox is back home?
<+ark0n> no way sweet
<@Malice> After five years in the deserts of the Middle East, our mother thought he'd want to relax.
<@Malice> So she took him to the beach.
#19137 (74/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[E-vangelist]   I was walking through the mall today and everywhere there are
posters advertising Britney Spears brand ROLLER SKATES everywhere
[E-vangelist]   I wonder which pharmecutical company is anxiously awaiting the announcement that her cherry's been popped so they can start selling Britney Brand Birth Control pills
#33990 (74/300) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<orion> i HATE
<orion> the beastie boys.
<Amanda_> Their talent is INTERGALACTIC
<Amanda_> Saying you hate them is a form of SABOTAGE
<Amanda_> GIRLS are always huge fans
<orion> ....................................................
<Amanda_> Looks like you need some BRASS MONKEY
#52688 (74/236) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mal> OK, so one of the guys we hired for Christmas was telling us a story from his last job yesterday...
<Mal> A bunch of senior management guys came down for the weekend, and took some junior management guys (store managers and stuff) out camping.
<Mal> So they're out there in the bush and they're doing a bonding exercise where they skin kangaroos they've shot.
<Mal> They're busy getting drunk that night when the senior guys chip in $25 and dare one of the junior guys to fuck one of the skinned kangaroos. He refuses, they up the ante to $50, and he fucking does it. Fucks a skinned kangaroo.
<Mal> The guy wakes up the next morning in his tent, and the skinned kangaroo he fucked the night before has been put in the sleeping bag beside him. Not only did this poor bastard fuck a dead, skinless kangaroo, he then slept with it!
<Wad_S> LOL, that's awesome! Where'd he work?
<Mal> That's the best part.
<Mal> He worked at Burger King.
#309217 (74/94) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ender> Every day when I get up I intend to get all kinds of work done.
<Ender> Then everything goes horribly wrong.  :)
<devnull> every day when i get up i intend to get as little work done as possible.
<devnull> Then everything goes horribly wrong.
#996 (74/278) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pioneer`> _raven: you couldnt configure a toilet
#307947 (74/126) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> So I had this brilliant Idea to patch portage to support Regex....
<Pryoidain> Like..massive regex standard strings
<LtBrenton> @_@
<Pryoidain> and then just for curiosity I ran emerge --search --desc ***
<Pryoidain> This system sounds like a turbine and I've lost a shell >.>
#20972 (74/236) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Heythere> i've always wanted you
<Heythere> every night, i dream of us in a prison cell
<CommanderStab> That's understandable
<CommanderStab> I've always wanted me too
#304639 (74/142) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sebas> I still want to start a stoner metal band because it's so damn easy
<Sebas> The guitarist gets 40 seconds to find the next chord, the drummer has to stick to like 5bpm, the bassist just fuzzes about a bit, and you slap tons of distortion on the vocals
<al> Bach would be proud
<Sebas> Only if he were around in our day and age
<Sebas> Bach to the Future
<nwagers> for the record, that was terrible
<Sebas> One might even say it was the vinyl straw?
#44290 (75/159) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@killacockney) anybody know how good vantec stealth fans are?
(TurboDttL) i've never seen one
#9479 (75/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Wynn> I put the 'asian' in 'caucasian'
#309512 (75/89) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< elliott> As mentioned in the outline history section a French artillery officer by the name of Nicholas Cugnot (1729-1804) made a steam three-wheeler intended for military use in 1769. This was arguably the first 'motor vehicle' although the small boiler could carry only enough water for a fifteen minute run and the maximum speed was about 4mph.
< elliott> In spite of these limitations on his first road trial of the three wheeler machine, making him arguably the first motorist, M. Cugnot hit a wall, becoming the first motorist to have an accident, and after several more experiments he scored the hat trick by becoming the first person to be arrested and imprisoned for dangerous driving.
#788 (75/307) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(sonique) i'm sensitive
(sonique) i cry at movies
(sonique) i change clothes 5 times before i go to school
(sonique) i also look at little boys with a glint of danger in my eye
#21281 (75/254) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
PegLegPete PM: yo
PegLegPete PM: you there?
PolishPWRHaus: yea
PegLegPete PM: come over
PegLegPete PM: we're playing poker
PolishPWRHaus: nice
PolishPWRHaus: what time
PegLegPete PM: when everybody gets here
PolishPWRHaus: so when should i head over
PegLegPete PM: ...
#6962 (75/211) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SlapAyoda:#916> felix, do these girls names end in jpg or gif?
<felix:#916> slap: names are insignificant
#22325 (75/268) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<slipvayne> my bro came home while i was wanking
<slipvayne> ah shit
<slipvayne> he brought some friends
<slipvayne> oh god
<slipvayne> i was watching a porno as well
<slipvayne> fuck i hope he didnt see
<slipvayne> OH FUCK
<slipvayne> oh man
<slipvayne> he better not tell my parents
<slipvayne> thats the last time i wear headphones while watching porn
<slipvayne> fuck im off for a shower
#8251 (75/296) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AnneRobinson^> Do Canadians really like fart jokes for entertainment???
<shagman> fart jokes rock
<shagman> take this classic canadian joke for example
* shagman farts on IEatChildren
#6716 (75/255) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Foxers has quit IRC (If idiots could fly,Dalnet would be an airport.)
#53053 (75/259) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Morton> Joke time.
<Morton> What has legs but can't walk?
<sid> A statue?
<@onix> a table
<Morton> A CRIPPLE!
#53055 (75/235) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<m[a]cky> I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.
#22081 (75/267) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Juggs> ahaha the funniest shit is when i took 3 e's at once at a lan
<Juggs> and as far as i was concerned i could slow down time
#38466 (75/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SquareRoot> I know this is very OT, but I come here a bit so I thought I could try asking here... I found my sister's goldfish on the floor about a minute ago (although I have no idea how long it's been there... it was dry though) ... it appears that it jumped out of the bowl... upon reinserting it it proceeded to just float there... is there anything I can do?
#48452 (75/275) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xcham: you interested [in taking an amateur radio certification course]?
Nruuuuup: this is like HAM radio?
xcham: yeah
Nruuuuup: the old-fashioned audio only version of blogging
xcham: I figure it's a handy thing to have a license for
Nruuuuup: because...?
xcham: in case, you know, society crumbles
Nruuuuup: hahaaha
Nruuuuup: why do i need a radio to go looting?
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