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#4827 (69/253) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Luney> i dunno i took an icq test and it said 180
#40411 (69/211) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker
Comment: the funniest thing you will read in a while
#304603 (69/131) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chroder> sometimes i touch the screen and then click on the mouse at the same time and pretend like its a touch screen.
#2805 (69/259) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd.  She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen."  She goes "I just saw goonies.  Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?"  "Yes."  *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line
#41997 (70/158) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ace_Reaper> ..i don't think god really will be happy with you burning the churchs
<Ste> He destroys them in floods and stuff all the time
<Ace_Reaper> yes but see thats HIM doing it
<Ace_Reaper> its like playing Simcity
<Ace_Reaper> you don't mind setting a hurricane on your city
<Ace_Reaper> but your pissed if one comes along naturally
#16655 (70/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
#46370 (70/154) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent
#40995 (70/164) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION"
#301620 (70/142) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<max621> you built him a NAS out of transistors?
<TuxThePenguin> he was struggling to make whatever stupid circuit when we were mising one 4-gate NAND chip
<max621> lol
<TuxThePenguin> and I was like
<TuxThePenguin> "bitch I'll make it out of transistors"
<TuxThePenguin> he's all
<TuxThePenguin> "nuh uh"
<TuxThePenguin> long story short we failed the assignment
#36410 (70/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<laurent> ls
<laurent> ls
<laurent> err
<laurent> duh this isn't a shell
#37441 (70/190) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@g> ive been cleaning my room on and off all day
<@g> got rid of like 6-7 bags of trash :x
<%Luffy> I've been thrusting all day...beat that ?.?
<@g> i dont want to beat anything of yours o.o
#16708 (70/284) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
#3660 (70/213) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FlipTopBox> oooh!  i want a p'zone!
<mightyflo> "we tried spelling 'pizza' and 'calzone' but we fucked up."
<FlipTopBox> i was thinking more like "we were trying to find the most annoying name possible."
#16990 (70/236) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would
#308836 (70/76) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aydiosmio> I don't anticipate the world moving away from keyboards any time soon for the sake of productivity
<nydel> aydiosmio: i think the world will split into people who use touch-screens & people who have shit to do
Comment: #2600 on irc.2600.net
#310382 (70/102) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Madda> Well, people don't seem too bothered by the "Our app will now record audio from your mobile"
<@Madda> So... *shrugs*
<~Altieri> Well, part of the problem is that those privacy warnings aren't always clear.
<@Crazed_Succubus> i feel like if i was that bothered i'd cut myself off from all technology and live in the woods
<@Crazed_Succubus> but i'm determined not to Thoreau my life away
#13937 (70/232) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
{TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your throat.
#31093 (70/264) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bil`> everytime i go into my closet i have to stand on my bed
<KArmA-> I figured you just stayed in the closet all the time
#33656 (70/298) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CrazyMYKL> killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> heh, this isn't a terminal
<Brisby> /exec -o killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> i know, it was wrong window tho
* Brisby giggles at CrazyMYKL
<CrazyMYKL> /exec -o echo "killall cat" > ~/curiosity.sh
#46201 (70/162) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Imperialism32: You know what I just noticed
Imperialism32: Nothing ever fucking happens in South America
Imperialism32: Seriously
Imperialism32: when was the last time you heard about ANYTHING from there?
Imperialism32: I usually forget it exists until I play Risk
#14971 (70/244) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Erad> homophobics are gay
#6281 (70/289) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sylwia> Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus
#309129 (70/116) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@LAMMJohnson> I suspect Star Trek Into Darkness will be good but not great.
<@LAMMJohnson> My reasoning for this is thus
<@LAMMJohnson> Perfect score because all of its words have a length that is a power of 2.
<@LAMMJohnson> Minus one point because total letters is not a power of two.
<@LAMMJohnson> Not even including spaces.
<@LAMMJohnson> However, the letters in all of the words plus the number of words is 24.
<@LAMMJohnson> Overall score for the movie: 8.5
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Vice Executive of the Autism Department
<@LAMMJohnson> The score, correctly, is a power of two marred with an ugly fraction.
<@LAMMJohnson> Although the fraction is 1/2
<@LAMMJohnson> Actually, the overall fraction is 17/20 which I pretty much hate.
<@LAMMJohnson> Which means I will initially think the movie is OK but then later change my mind and hate it.
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Honourable Chairman of the Autism Empire
#45975 (70/158) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<EccleS> EriK: I'm more concerned about lying helpless in the dentists chair, while some trained sadist waves electrical equipment in my face
<capgadget> Just grab the dental nurses crotch.  At least you will have an excuse.
<capgadget> Unless it is a male nurse.
<capgadget> THen you are up shit creek.
<capgadget> Unless he's gay.
<_Arthur> gays often go up shit creek
#36004 (70/180) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* DannyCat|sleep tries to figure out what video codec his eyes run on.
<quen> danny - a few days ago after I took some painkillers I was getting moire effects on the carpet, so I recommend you don't use that one :)
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