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#304603 (69/131) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Chroder> sometimes i touch the screen and then click on the mouse at the same time and pretend like its a touch screen.
#5611 (69/275) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+straylight> Limp Bizket stole their music from black people... but black people were going to throw it away anyway.
#2805 (69/259) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LrdZombie> So last night my sister comes in and wants to borrow a dvd.  She goes "What do you have that I'd like?" and i go, "Well, I got Goonies, Dark Crystal, and Adventures of Baron Munchausen."  She goes "I just saw goonies.  Which is better, dark crystal or baron munchausen?"
<_Shorty> haha
<LrdZombie> "Do you want to sleep tonight?"  "Yes."  *hands her baron munchausen.*
<blazemore> tsk tsk.. laughing before the punch line
#41997 (70/158) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ace_Reaper> ..i don't think god really will be happy with you burning the churchs
<Ste> He destroys them in floods and stuff all the time
<Ace_Reaper> yes but see thats HIM doing it
<Ace_Reaper> its like playing Simcity
<Ace_Reaper> you don't mind setting a hurricane on your city
<Ace_Reaper> but your pissed if one comes along naturally
#16655 (70/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.
#311314 (70/102) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> So is it possible to restore the United States from a backup?
#46370 (70/154) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<megaBBq> one time my friends and i were camping in the mountains, one night i went to bed and i woke up at about noon the next day
<megaBBq> i sit up and open my eyes, and i'm staring point blank at this mountain goat
<megaBBq> having been shit drunk the night before, it was a very odd few moments trying to figure out how the goat got in my tent
#40995 (70/164) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Rich: Guess who visited my little brother's middle school yesterday?
Rich: Go on, guess.
Rich: It starts with a "G" and ends in "FUCKED UP OUR NATION"
#301620 (70/142) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<max621> you built him a NAS out of transistors?
<TuxThePenguin> he was struggling to make whatever stupid circuit when we were mising one 4-gate NAND chip
<max621> lol
<TuxThePenguin> and I was like
<TuxThePenguin> "bitch I'll make it out of transistors"
<TuxThePenguin> he's all
<TuxThePenguin> "nuh uh"
<TuxThePenguin> long story short we failed the assignment
#36410 (70/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<laurent> ls
<laurent> ls
<laurent> err
<laurent> duh this isn't a shell
#37441 (70/190) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@g> ive been cleaning my room on and off all day
<@g> got rid of like 6-7 bags of trash :x
<%Luffy> I've been thrusting all day...beat that ?.?
<@g> i dont want to beat anything of yours o.o
#16708 (70/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf
#3660 (70/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FlipTopBox> oooh!  i want a p'zone!
<mightyflo> "we tried spelling 'pizza' and 'calzone' but we fucked up."
<FlipTopBox> i was thinking more like "we were trying to find the most annoying name possible."
#16990 (70/236) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
TallyHoTheZebra: i love fire
TallyHoTheZebra: if i could have sex with it, i would
#308836 (70/76) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aydiosmio> I don't anticipate the world moving away from keyboards any time soon for the sake of productivity
<nydel> aydiosmio: i think the world will split into people who use touch-screens & people who have shit to do
Comment: #2600 on irc.2600.net
#311143 (70/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<devilmaydry> play pso2 while working
<~Drakkar> ncan't
<~Drakkar> -m
<~Drakkar> +m
<~Drakkar> -n
<~Drakkar> writing
<InfiniteOregano> i like that you made sure to add the m that you took away even though there was no m to begin with
<InfiniteOregano> you can't have negative ms floating about
<InfiniteOregano> breaking reality
#13937 (70/232) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
{TSL}-{Capo>School crams the giant cock of knowledge down your throat.
#31093 (70/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bil`> everytime i go into my closet i have to stand on my bed
<KArmA-> I figured you just stayed in the closet all the time
#33656 (70/298) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CrazyMYKL> killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> heh, this isn't a terminal
<Brisby> /exec -o killall cat
<CrazyMYKL> i know, it was wrong window tho
* Brisby giggles at CrazyMYKL
<CrazyMYKL> /exec -o echo "killall cat" > ~/curiosity.sh
#46201 (70/162) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Imperialism32: You know what I just noticed
Imperialism32: Nothing ever fucking happens in South America
Imperialism32: Seriously
Imperialism32: when was the last time you heard about ANYTHING from there?
Imperialism32: I usually forget it exists until I play Risk
#14971 (70/244) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Erad> homophobics are gay
#6281 (70/289) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sylwia> Everything from this point on is dependant on you being able to relax your anus
#309129 (70/116) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@LAMMJohnson> I suspect Star Trek Into Darkness will be good but not great.
<@LAMMJohnson> My reasoning for this is thus
<@LAMMJohnson> Perfect score because all of its words have a length that is a power of 2.
<@LAMMJohnson> Minus one point because total letters is not a power of two.
<@LAMMJohnson> Not even including spaces.
<@LAMMJohnson> However, the letters in all of the words plus the number of words is 24.
<@LAMMJohnson> Overall score for the movie: 8.5
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Vice Executive of the Autism Department
<@LAMMJohnson> The score, correctly, is a power of two marred with an ugly fraction.
<@LAMMJohnson> Although the fraction is 1/2
<@LAMMJohnson> Actually, the overall fraction is 17/20 which I pretty much hate.
<@LAMMJohnson> Which means I will initially think the movie is OK but then later change my mind and hate it.
<~chown> LAMMJohnson - Honourable Chairman of the Autism Empire
#37005 (70/218) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jedi> <@TheZEEness> SHIT ON AN OVEN
<@Jedi> i wonder what kind of amazing stench you could make shitting in an oven and then cranking it up to 450
<@TheZEEness> I wonder if at a certain tempurature, shit starts smelling like flowers
<@Jedi> fly me to your house, i'll shit in your oven...
<@TheZEEness> That sounds like a horrible cover of that Sinatra song
<@TheZEEness> FFLLLLYYYYY me to your house, so I maaayyy shit upon your oven
#310171 (70/90) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
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