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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..563564565566567568569..596Next> |
#8610 (59/293) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Xmit> And I wont be on irc ever again
<coaxial> Why not?!
<Xmit> Because it is a waste of time
<Xmit> I am declaring that I will never waste time like this again
<coaxial> but we lub u
<Xmit> I hate you you stupid bitch |
#9589 (59/297) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CMR> We're having a solar eclipse!
<RJR> Oo! Where? |
#14250 (59/250) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* <r0b3r> sighs and ponders what to do now....
* <Lynda> ponders, "draw something?"
<r0b3r> Tried that already. Can't think of anything to draw, really.
<Lynda> draw... a couple, resting in bed together.
* <r0b3r> blinks at what Lynda says....
<r0b3r> No. I don't draw that, thank you ery much.
<Lynda> I wasn't suggesting anything ecchi.
<Lynda> I take it you've never had a really serious relationship.
<r0b3r> I have one with someone right now, actually.
<r0b3r> Just it's an odd relationship considering my character is human
and she is an alien... |
#16740 (59/202) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* DiscoFever ignores all you dicks
<Joelz> Good.
<Joelz> You shouldn't be looking at our penises anyway. |
#18846 (59/275) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<aphelion> 'GKZKGJ
<aphelion> OMFG
<aphelion> wt
<Flatline-> aphelion just figured out masterbation |
#18985 (59/228) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-ChanServ- [#etheria] Welcome to Etheria. Please be sure to read the !rules. I hope you die so we can eat your babies. |
#19218 (59/256) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TheWolf> god damn my fuckin bowels
<TheWolf> i wish the doctors would hurry up and fix this
<TheWolf> brb
<TheWolf> gotta shit AGAIN |
#21278 (59/332) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
afkun: "funkymonkey> My band is called Imation CDR 74m 650 MB....have you seen our CD's?"
Pixie7186: wtf?
Pixie7186: i dont get it...
afkun: ally, look at your CD-Rs.
afkun: what do they say?
afkun: now scroll up and re-read the statement.
Pixie7186: hahahaha
Pixie7186: thaats so funny
Pixie7186: lol |
#21940 (59/239) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[krys] mmm salad
[hoho] salad is what food eats
[krys] then i guess im food
[krys] soooo EAT ME BITCH |
#23404 (59/268) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<D>: ill murder you good >:o
<k33bz> not if u can't get to me!
<k33bz> jerkzilla!
<D>: when i go visit you >:o
<k33bz> like hell u will
<D>: fine i wont go visit you then
<k33bz> yes u will
<k33bz> but the joy of here will keep u docile
<k33bz> then halfway home when u go over the border u'll be like, "FUCK >< forgot to murder k33bz"
<k33bz> hah!
<k33bz> and that's the story of how christmas was saved |
#27254 (59/213) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Syl_Aran> I won't be able to have sex, i don't have a condom.
<TheHumanCow> syl, use a duct tape condom
<Syl_Aran> O_o
<Syl_Aran> THC: fuck that
<TheHumanCow> exactly |
#28917 (59/229) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<^Ocean^> fucking bloody hell
<^Ocean^> I lost 33gig of HDSpace
<LlNK> lol
<LlNK> check under your keyboard |
#30442 (59/337) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* b0bd0g changes topic to 'THE MATRIX: BEST UNIX MOVIE EVER'
<icronirc> neo: `make all`
<icronirc> `make itwithcarrieannmoss`
<b0bd0g> killall -9 "mr. smith"
<icronirc> rm -rf /usr/local/lib/matrix
<icronirc> find / -type evil -exec rm -rf {} \;
<b0bd0g> home/mr.smith% while (1) { fork(); };
<b0bd0g> n30 iz l33t |
#32076 (59/257) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Drav> where the hell can a well-intended, modest, christian fellow go to get a handjob around here?
<ktrout> look no further than the end of your arm
<CoverSlide> Drav: are you under 12?
<CoverSlide> because you could become catholic |
#34071 (59/283) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<opivy10> i used to be a lesbian till i got my sex change
*** Dianora sets mode: +m |
#36219 (59/223) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Xial> Command line interface terminal. :o
<@Xial> Women are COMPUTERS!!!!
* @Xial has scary realization
<+Nulike> :O
<@Xial> Seriously!
<@Xial> Why do you think we have so much control over them when we use the Command line interface terminal properly?
<+Nulike> Enlighten us!
<@Xial> Because it's powerful. A well interfaced CLIT is a happy CLIT, and a happy CLIT means we are treated well, in return. XD
<+Nulike> O_O
<@Xial> Makes sense? :3
<@Xial> Plus,
<+Nulike> Worst of all, it does.
<@Xial> some women tell us what to do when we're using it, sorta like pressing the help key
<@Xial> "Ooooh, slooooooowwwww..." for example
<@Xial> If you get a "Stop Teasing, and FUCK ME NOW!", you've likely done it right XD
<+Nulike> @.@;Comment: #voices / DarkMyst; Xial's apparently had too much sugar and caffeine.
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#37256 (59/203) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pushead> nothing freaks out the girlfriend like graphic threats of sexual torture and murder
<painiac> does she read them, too?
<pushead> she read the latest one
<painiac> hahahaha
<painiac> that makes it all worthwhile
<painiac> what did she say?
<pushead> 'babe, some guy here says he'll kill you and rape your corpse' 'is it painiac?' 'yes' 'then it's funny. laugh with me' 'your friends are stupid and crazy' |
#38914 (59/153) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Hidatoshi> the pizza person FORGOT MY FUCKING PIZZA
<Hidatoshi> he gave me one pizza
<Hidatoshi> and I was like
<Hidatoshi> "Uh where's the other one?"
<Hidatoshi> He looked at the recent and said "Oh shit."
<Hidatoshi> "I'll be right back." |
#41956 (59/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@zeleftikam> yeah so on friday i installed this hard-disk MP3 player in the trunk on this new passat
<@zeleftikam> i think, while i was upside down in the trunk, my cell phone fell out of my pocket, and i sealed it in the trunk trim
<@zeleftikam> it's GONE
<@mitch> ha
<@mitch> nice work
<@zeleftikam> thx |
#45024 (59/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
•›› Topic: [[klined]] changes topic to [FLEA at MIT June 19 | I love teh mirc | trojans and viruses and spyware, oh my | weak passwords lead to cookie dough icecream]
[@nmx] cookie dough ice cream?!
• @nmx changes his password to nmx |
#52745 (59/207) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
dackattac: I found GTA demoralizing until I got into the story.
dackattac: Suddenly that wasn't the emulation of my thumbs acting on my whims, it was the character of a thug in the life of crime on his own terms, and the missions were simply part of the plot.
legames: holy christ
legames: that's hilarious
legames: it's about punching hookers
legames: everyone knows thatComment: On Grand Theft Auto - Vice City.
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#235987 (58/148) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ousti> I'm yelling at you in Korean right now, but you can't hear me!
<Raiden> Are you going "kekekekekeke Zerg rush ^________^" |
#290462 (59/141) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<anon9k3> i need to remmenber to buy a card tomorrow :/
<anon9k3> but I'm not sure what kind to get
<Allah> a condolence card
<anon9k3> ass
<anon9k3> birthday
<anon9k3> I mean, I'm not sure what kind of birthday card to get for the person
<Allah> male or female?
<anon9k3> female
<Allah> then defiantly a condolence card, females hate getting older |
#297601 (59/349) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MmmBacon> When Farah Fawcett got to heaven, and went through the pearly gates, she was greeted by God.
<MmmBacon> "Wow!" exclaimed the Holy Ghost. "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red bikini!"
<MmmBacon> Farah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord..."
<MmmBacon> Jehovah goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"
<MmmBacon> Not one to act selfish and change God's opinion of her, Farah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."
<MmmBacon> "Done!" exclaims the Heavenly Father. He snaps, and Michael Jackson appears next to Farah.Comment: ##socialites@freenode
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#303201 (59/117) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
GrawSith> I need a bunch of mannequin feet to store my socks on, so when i get them they're already stretchy and nice |
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