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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..540541542543544545546..596Next> |
#16802 (45/233) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<NobleKale> old friend emails me with 'I have two special consideration exams next week. what do I study for them?'
<NobleKale> my reply: 'RTFM' |
#23973 (46/207) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Selphie> oic I remember Cherice but she does not remember me~
<@Cherice> yea i think i do. it's just nothing good |
#24128 (45/193) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shadow> "Due to the recent decrease in overall test scores among high school
<Shadow> students, I propose we change the term 'foolproof' to 'stupidproof.'" |
#25187 (45/207) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<unknown> once I was wanking while playing doomII and someone snuck up behind me and shot me in the back with his shotgun and I almost tore off my helmet.. Folks I am telling you it's not fucking worth it!!! |
#34652 (45/297) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> wtf.
<ikkenai> talking to dig dug is like meeting a celebrity
<ikkenai> only lameComment: #geekissues
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#36180 (45/147) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sahal> 6 million ways to die
<sahal> choose one
<mETh> i will
<sahal> i choose MSpaint |
#37294 (45/193) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mairu> my download bandwidth is 5 kbps. but for some reason, when i download porn, it squirts upto 9bps!
<mairu> er. i mean shoots upto 9kbps**Comment: irc.freenode.net #linux-india
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#40923 (45/219) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< lux> my toilet is dying
< lux> my poop is too much for it
<@wwmrtww> mouth to mouth!Comment: #ramen
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#45860 (45/199) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sirukin> linux linux on the wall
<sirukin> which boxed set of install package cd is the best of them all
<sirukin> windows windows on the floor
<sirukin> why do you suck and bend over for the drm whore
<sirukin> apple apple on shelf
<sirukin> why do you require so much wealth
<rattle> ...
<sirukin> rattle rattle in my bed
<sirukin> oh how I'd like to lay down your sweet head
<rattle> BSD ?
<sirukin> bsd bsd in the toilet
<sirukin> bsd sucks so no rhyme for you. |
#52624 (45/211) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shadda> Explaining the concept of referential integrity to a mysql user is like explaining condoms to a catholic |
#242345 (45/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<briareus> QTParted sucks my donkey asshole
<Gr33n3gg> Since when do you have a donkey asshole?
<briareus> since I've been running QTparted |
#291749 (46/62) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Max[Tea`age]> just sneezed my headphones across the room |
#295400 (45/137) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dutch> I've a girl coming over tomorrow to have sex with in my room
<Dutch> what should i tell my mother
<Dutch> so she don't suspect us doing naughty thing?
<Emma> if she doesn't want you to shag in HER house, she's the one who needs to be respected
<Dutch> my plan is telling my mother she is interested in playing some new video games on my computer
<Dutch> would that work?
<Foxhill> what if your mum runs in with a copy of wii bowling and an extra controller and you're busy getting a groinal spitbath?
<Foxhill> it could happen.. |
#295497 (45/227) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ilanbg> I have never heard either of those phrases used
<celeste> black people say "he's my boy"
<ilanbg> black people don't say that
<celeste> uh yeah they do
<ilanbg> you don't even know any black people!
<celeste> yes i doooo
<ilanbg> name one
<celeste> i don' tknow his name : ( |
#301289 (46/74) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JON> my g/f has a new friend. Cleverbot.com laaaaame =D
<KAT> I asked it: How should I lose weight?
<JON> Oh?
<KAT> And it responded with "With a chainsaw." |
#302601 (45/71) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
snookums: today was just another first interview
snookums: she told me to go find a seat the furthest down the way.. so i'm sitting there and for 15 minutes i'm getting antsy sitting there so i start messing with my resume.. at that point i realised the third page of my resume papers was a coupon for yogurt |
#303253 (45/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Artifice> I'm a little confused as to how E=MC^2 though. If they cannot be converted, how can they be equivalent
<@jey> energy and matter can interconvert
<Artifice> That's what I thought
<ttvd> prove it
<Artifice> I'll book the LHC. The 12th work for you? |
#303934 (45/113) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< niekie> Someone said to someone else "There's a hole in your shirt."
< niekie> That was just the perfect moment for me to say "That's better than the other way around." |
#305255 (45/81) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> The only deity I pray to is Charles Darwin.
<fahadsadah> Aside: I think I'm getting this whole secular thing wrong. |
#305792 (45/63) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bubulein> DONT DRINK AND ROOT |
#305954 (46/86) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed |
#306023 (45/71) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Obtuse> so the captain says live tesla coils at noon?
<@masterofmonks> That sounds like an odd choice of dueling weapons.Comment: #thegeekgroup on irc.freenode.net
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#306515* (?/81) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
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#307740 (46/64) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<n0idx80> I have a very nice laptop with 4GB (takes 8) that the cpu fan makes a horrible noise, and I just can't bear to open it up
<Chainsaw> You feel that dust bunnies are animals too and deserve to live? |
#308489 (46/86) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<acenasir> asl angel?
<Tech_Angel> Dude, did you really just use asl?
<IT_Sean> He did.
<IT_Sean> HE MUST BE PUNISHED!
* IT_Sean gets the bullwhip, the mustard, and the geckos
<Tech_Angel> the geckos? you really are serious
<IT_Sean> Yup.
* Tech_Angel leaves Sean to play with acenasir while she gets lunch
* IT_Sean gives acenasir a 10 second head start
<adamaze> run boyComment: #spiceworks / freenode
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