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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..539540541542543544545..596Next> |
#102902 (44/136) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Aneyva) my computer is spazzing... brb gotta reboot
—› quit: (Aneyva)
• +missey wonders what spazzing computer looks like
(%Cory) it screams at you asking for swiss chocolate and makes you drive to somewhere a few towns over to get it and bitches at you when you get back
(%Cory) oh wait that's pregnant |
#105149 (44/110) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<UMKid08> Hey James, what did the tableau calculus say to the fair node selection algorithm?
<jamesl> ? what?
<UMKid08> You complete me! =)
<jamesl> ...
<jamesl> You know, before you said that I used to wonder why that valedictorian left you for that marine dude... |
#125372 (44/196) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Brownie12149 sets ban on Religion!*@*
<Brownie12149> if i had my own country
<Brownie12149> i would be want to able to control it through IRC commands |
#270018 (44/124) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Steve_Restless> "Yer drive is dead. send it to HP"
<Raiden> Better is 'Your drive is dead. It dropped below zero HP'Comment: #Chaos_GardenRPG, espernet
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#296099 (44/246) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(loup) nice, google's usenet reader has a translator integrated
(loup) what's not so nice is that it offered to translate a german document into dutch for me
(v427ci505) like foreign languages?
(v427ci505) everyone knows usenet is best appreciated in the original klingon |
#300320 (46/70) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
halcy0n: yanno what i fkn hate
halcy0n: .....the motion activated toilets
halcy0n: dude...you cant fuckin move!
bladezor: hahaaaa
halcy0n: you like just twist one way and its a fuckin shit water bidet.
halcy0n: doesnt help that the toilet flushing is powered by a fucking boeing 757 engine |
#304112* (?/76) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< mode14> ok who wants to do my homework?
< mode14> going once
< shortcircuit> mode14: Nobody wants to do your homework.
< shortcircuit> mode14: That's the first rule of online programming help environments.
< orbitz> is your homework a hot guy?
< shortcircuit> (And that's rule 34) |
#305243 (45/71) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
cmca: so i've been playing starcraft a lot late at night and i think its starting to infiltrate my real life
cmca: me, emi, kyle, and paul were coming back from lunch and we got to the door that requires a key card. and we all just stood there, everyone waiting for someone else to swipe theirs
cmca: and my first thought was "shit, i missed the minerals when i set the rally point for the drones"
rnovel: HAHAHAHAH
cmca: and then i shook myself and swiped my card... |
#307117 (44/66) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Q-Stone> woot now I have 2.5 GB of space on Dropbox!
* BadMojo starts downloading Q-Stone's stuff from Dropbox. Man, nothing but horse porn.
<Q-Stone> Encrypted horse porn!
<BadMojo> If it was encrypted, how would I know what it is?
<Q-Stone> By the file name: horseporn12.enc
<Switchbreak> badmojo knows an encrypted horse when he sees one
<Switchbreak> just has to glance at the data
<Q-Stone> He can tell from the bits
<BadMojo> It's like the matrix.
<Q-Stone> He doesn't even see the code anymore, just Arabian, Clydesdale, QuarterComment: #gwj on quakenet
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#307236 (43/69) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Parsee> I don't know... Yuyuko, you were suggesting giving missiles as messages, right?
<Yuyuko> Yeah, you don't need an interpreter.
<Yuyuko> Everyone speaks missile.Comment: #touhou, irc.darkmyst.org
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#309144 (44/70) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<myself> Heh. I'm reminded now, of fetching the entire sysinternals suite, and then wanting to run them ALL so I could click through the infernal EULA on each one and not be bothered with it again
<myself> for %a in (*.exe) do %a
<myself> ^^^^ comedy
<c0nsumer> myself: there's another way
<myself> nah that worked, it just brought the machine to its knees for about 20 seconds :)
<c0nsumer> myself: HKCU\Software\Sysinternals\Process Monitor|EulaAccepted REG_DWORD 0x1
<c0nsumer> lather, rinse, repeat
<c0nsumer> export ...\Sysinternals.\...,, strip out eveyrthing but those EULA lines
<myself> Oh man, so I could just save a .reg and import it again on each machine I bring the tools to
<c0nsumer> import the .reg file elsewhere
<c0nsumer> exactly
<myself> yesssComment: Useful advice, in my QDB? It's more likely than you think.
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#309207* (?/122) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Me: Wow, QDB.us accepted a boatload of new quotes today?
You: Wow, really?
Me: No, just yanking your chain.Comment: Wake up QDB staff
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#309616 (44/60) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Iambian> Remember kids, when someone offers you drugs, say "thank you" because drugs are expensive.
<xmc> correct
<xmc> and in today's challenging regulatory climate, drugs are a logistical hassle as well |
#310589 (44/50) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Walnut> Sonic the Hedgehog has never had a bad game
<Walnut> unrelated I have amnesia dating back to 1994 |
#310922 (44/54) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs |
#311003 (44/62) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<asterick> hah
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want? |
#1377 (45/275) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheFlux2k> i just teleport everywhere
<TheFlux2k> walking is for faggots |
#4326 (45/267) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high! |
#5353 (45/280) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> k funny story tiem
<AlmtyBob> there's this guy at work
<AlmtyBob> and back in the days
<AlmtyBob> I would tell people to ask him how fast his dad can run
<AlmtyBob> and they would
<AlmtyBob> and he'd say, 'dude that's kinda fucked up, my dad lost his legs in a construction accident'
<AlmtyBob> and he's a total straight-faced mf, so it got the best reactions from people
<AlmtyBob> (it was a joke, his dad was fine)
<AlmtyBob> I got this new dealer to do it to him today, he's a supervisor
<AlmtyBob> I was talking to my friend later and I told him to go up to this chick and ask the same thing
<AlmtyBob> little did he know, her father was murdered a few years back
<AlmtyBob> joke's on him!
<AlmtyBob> well, you had to be there |
#5985 (45/303) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Foggi> french are good for 2 things
<Foggi> art
<Foggi> and surrendering |
#7967 (45/307) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(CitizenC): Hey, here's a question for ya.. what if Jesus was gay?
(CitizenC): You know what? I bet he was.
(CitizenC): Walking around in that desert with his apostles forever?
(CitizenC): They didn't have porn back then, which left only two options:
(CitizenC): * Beat off behind a mountain somewhere to memories of Mary, or
(CitizenC): * Say "Yo! Deciples! Suck my cock! I'm the son of God!"
(CitizenC): Personally, I think that second one is much more likely. |
#8260 (45/223) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JBB> I'm looking for a laptop that I can just use on the net. Something below $300.
<BondOO7> You'd have better luck shoving your cock into a telephone jack for the internet. |
#10010 (45/297) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Shi-chan beats Tino down
<Shi-chan> DIE
<Tino> haha
* Shi-chan takes out a spoonn
<Shi-chan> DON'T MAKE ME USE THIS
<ilifin> there is no spoon |
#11223 (45/235) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jubei301> I want a director's cut version of the matrix where the red and blue pills are suppositories... |
#11225 (45/235) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* pygmy fires up excel
[@pygmy] or not
[@pygmy] I'd need it installed to do that :) |
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