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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..535536537538539540541..596Next> |
#302974 (44/70) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sculptor> i learnt binary numbers at the age of 7
<Sculptor> 2nd grade math
<Sculptor> commie countries always had great math courses
<CStubing> commie countries couldn't afford any more digitsComment: EFnet#c++
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#304801 (42/88) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SaberUK> Rfsancho: do soviet russia jokes make sense in russian?
<Rfsancho> they do if you reverse them
<Rfsancho> "in US of A, you drive CARS!" |
#305602 (42/78) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RN: no, i couldn't wait to have that fixed
RN: there are a lot of things i dont like about photoshop, but that stupid "Undo" vs. "step backward" nonsense was the final straw
CM: you might say that it was photoshop's ultimate...
CM: *puts on her sunglasses*
CM: ....undoing
CM: YYYEEEEEAAAAHHHH |
#306373 (42/74) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Judith: I sleep face down because my nose gets cold.
You: So you can't breathe, but at least your nose is warm.
Judtih: NO, it's like swimming. You tilt your head when you want to breathe. |
#307886 (42/94) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<glxblt> FUCK ME IN THE ASS
<glxblt> the car won't start
<glxblt> 45min until booze store closes
<GargajCNS> cant you just order via the internet
<peppupupu> yeah
<glxblt> this is no time for jokes people, there's not a drop of booze in the house
[...]
<glxblt> okay, the car will maybe start if I let it be in the charger for 15 minutes
<glxblt> then I'll drive around for 15 minutes and that'll leave me 15 minutes to get the booze.
<glxblt> shit shit shit, if I don't drive around for the 15 minutes I will be stuck at the store parking lot
<glxblt> hmmm
<glxblt> maybe if take a risk and leave my car running
[...]
<glxblt> i will so fucking order a taxi if my car doesn't start in a while
<glxblt> i need to get drunk todayComment: Finland.
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#308208 (42/62) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sebas> I typed "aO" and sat wondering why it didn't turn into an @ for at least five seconds
<Sebas> I should probably sleep |
#309733 (42/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rmah> (reading books is my primary ipad activity)
<rmah> well, that and crossword puzzles
<atomi> I take my tablet to the bar and use it to ignore people |
#310194 (42/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<madk> The interpreter uses an unbounded tape size, but due to technical limitations will stop being unbounded if the tape size reaches 2^63 cells. |
#310235 (42/124) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<worstcase> once we look at women as 3d printers i think abortion wont be as much of a big deal |
#310844 (42/50) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wabewalkr> Oh, I dunno. Ignorance is bliss.
<zompist> then why aren't more people happy? |
#310956 (42/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samantha> these recruiters are getting clever
<samantha> Subj: Disco Party??
<samantha> me: I love disco parties
<samantha> *open email* Hi Samantha, We're looking for a bada$$ front end engineer
<samantha> I WAS TRICKED |
#311027 (42/68) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
23:59 <@swight> My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone
Day changed to 31 Dec 2015
00:00 <@swight> and now you should feel oldComment: EFNet
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#311374 (42/50) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RIDDL3R> Does anyone know which page in the Bible it explains how to turn water into wine?Comment: #4chan on Dalnet
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#311531 (43/59) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pflanze> in any case, I can see why you changed your userid from ``bigassniggaonascooterdrinkingcaprisun`` before launching the business |
#311564 (44/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl |
#311668 (44/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<unyu> Saying that a mathematical model describes reality, or is even a good approximation to it, is a truly huge statement. I'd rather not make such a statement unless it can be backed with strong arguments.
<Stevie-O> then you, sir, are not fit to be an economistComment: ##math
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#410 (43/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> I gotta go to the doc for my shoulder anyways so I might as well hit him up for some prozac |
#547 (43/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<QuoteBawt> I know very few girls into emulation, even fewer into drinking "beer" and even fewer with an IQ above room temperature
<freeweed> <QuoteBawt> I know very few girls <--- if you wanna say something just say it
<scienide_> wimiins should go back to the kitchen |
#1062 (43/247) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
uiu BitchX: Join to #discotheque was synched in 2.229 secs!!
<digdug> why so few people? :/
<bocz> i wuz hungry |
#1831 (43/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> ie6 update.nfo
<ikkenai> New Features Found in Micrsoft Internet Explorer 6.0:
<ikkenai> - A bunch of useless shit |
#1898 (43/268) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<McMoo> it smells like sex upstairs
<`michael> haha
<Kenn> I just smelled like sex. I didn't want to shower.
<Kenn> But I did...
<Kenn> :\
<kisama> sex and masturbation smell like the same thing, kenn.
<Kenn> kisama, that wasn't nice. |
#2428 (43/283) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Snag> *beep*beep*
<Steil> snag you set off the gaydar again didnt you???
<Snag> funny
<Snag> :| |
#2931 (43/230) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<profuse> its rather good, this is the first of anything of his that ive listened to
<profuse> heh im talkinglike im british or some shit
<al-x> hey
<al-x> americans say "rather" too
<al-x> except they say "i'd rather have a big slow car that's flashy than a car that isn't flashy but runs better" |
#3905 (43/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rbrt> i have decided to file for a divorce
<nharris> Rbrt.. wise move
<Rbrt> yepp neil
<closedown> did you just have a kid?
<Rbrt> yes i did
<nharris> my brother's inlaws are DICKS.. except his bro in law..he's cool
<Rbrt> the kid doesnt change the fact that she's a psycho
<closedown> ah
<closedown> my gf's trying to hint at marriage
<closedown> that would surely cut into my irc time |
#5073 (43/227) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<langdon> win2k is tight.
<langdon> i added all my warez ftp sites to network neighborhood |
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