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#307168* (?/50) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Soviet> see
< Soviet> I can have the biggest fucking boner ever
< Soviet> and I don't have to hide it cause no one can see it
< Rezagrats> Soviet: your penis is that small? |
#307268* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Javacat> so somebody posted pictures on facebook of them at a llama farm with their children
< Javacat> and the first thing i thought was "oh cool, he went to look at unicorns"
< Javacat> tot srs
< Javacat> took like 30 seconds to realise they were llamas
< Javacat> and then another 10 to remember unicorns dont exist
< Javacat> in england |
#307598* (?/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%[ill]will> And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussy?
<@LadyNikon> wth?
<@LadyNikon> oh sorry forgot what channel I was in.. carry on?Comment: #2600
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#308114* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eshock> man
<eshock> the entire geocities archive is only 1tb
<jeffhorton> 500gb of it is between blink tags
* eshock zingComment: Freenode #gameai
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#308371 (27/53) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bob> At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel
<ramsey> those are really the things that matter
<ramsey> but I'm more interested in who is better suited to get us through the impending zombie apocalypse, since it's more impending than an alien invasion
<bob> i'd probably still choose the black one.
<ramsey> wow |
#309272 (26/90) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<luckybunny> I know someone in this channel likes to do owl impressions
<iScream> what a hoot
<luckybunny> dammit
<Kneidel> I can guess where this is goig...
<luckybunny> I was hoping for someone to say 'who?'
<luckybunny> lol
<luckybunny> in which case they would have answered their own question
<iScream> i didn't think of that |
#309511 (27/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cactus> wat.
<Cactus> I..... don't know why this exists.
<Cactus> it's one of those sites put together by a bot, but it doesn't have ads or anything
<Tec> Za?
<Cactus> but it's like
<Cactus> porn mad libs
<Tec> ...Huh.
<Cactus> it's hilarious and depressing
<Cactus> and bewildering
<Tec> Yeah, I could see that.
<Cactus> "Tina struggled luxuriously as she felt the woman's breast girls photo gallery reverberate off her physics absently struggle unbelivebly her side."
<Cactus> maybe it's supposed to distribute malware or something?
<Tec> "Reverberate off her physics absently" sounds like a line from a particularly saucy science slashfic.
<Cactus> "I sodomized a breast girls photo gallery of handlers to say me, cheating two erroneous spasm suns i had filmed from a concentration order company."
<Cactus> two erroneous spasm suns.
<Tec> I think horse_ebooks has a serious competitor now.
<Cactus> "She told him how eerie his apprehension tasted, and how temporarily she wanted it inside her. "
<Cactus> ouch.
<Cactus> it's basically horse_ebooks, but porn.
<Tec> Apprehension has among the eerier tastes.Comment: Nightstar
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#309691 (26/56) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Earnestly) Arch is not the right distribution for you if you can't use Linux without a GUI environment.
(buhman) and what Earnestly said
(Earnestly) Not meaning to sound like an elitist-jerk
(buhman) by contrast, I do intend to sound like an elitist. |
#309841 (26/64) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< j0h> Ive been drunk for nearly 2 weeks but jrvc might have a problem.
<@LinearInterpol> j0h: that's called being a system administrator. |
#310465* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<abigail> argh, i've got a really inconvenient tooth
<fangorn> why, is it responsible for global warming?
* fangorn slow claps himself |
#310642 (18/42) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> etc
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> yeah
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
<catplanet> ROFL |
#310872 (26/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wushin> bjorn not ded, bjorn is parent, parents are zombies because children are parasites
< wushin> Trust me, I'm someone's father.
< Kage> wushin: I would see a doctor about it
< wushin> We did several times.
< wushin> #KidsAreExpensive |
#311199 (26/70) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<the_map> I'm a bit upset that bash.org doesn't have anything like, "Ursula sets mode -v Ariel" |
#311595 (27/61) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dokodonmystery> reading character descriptions of smash characters is so funny because it's like
<dokodonmystery> this is lucas, his life and family were ruined by colonialists and capitalism
<dokodonmystery> this is snake, he's a genetic clone who suffers from the cost of endless war
<dokodonmystery> this is king dedede. he loves food |
#1545 (27/223) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<peng> Guilty and I never had dealings
<Guilty> Remember that time you were lonely and couldnt find any new Brittney porn
<peng> which time
<Guilty> And I hadnt gotten a haircut in a while so my golden locks were flowing
<Guilty> And I happen to have a tight red jumpsuit...
<Guilty> And well, you know |
#2925 (27/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Slant> evenpar123: What's up dog, word?
<evenpar123> dog?
<evenpar123> That's my slave name. My new name is "dogg" |
#6492 (27/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bobo> Hobo-Niff, will you be my partner in dance dance strangulation? |
#7898 (27/226) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aSSMAGGOT> [badpeon_] all humans have to die
<paniq> i dont have to
<paniq> i have won in a lottery for immortality
<wayfinder> i thought you've won a key fob?
<jco> an immortal key fob |
#8807 (27/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Chocolate_Jihad] ahh depth perception she is harsh mistress
[Chocolate_Jihad] so much good but at such a great cost
[Darkure] you mean to your dignity?
[Chocolate_Jihad] unfortunately |
#10159 (27/215) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<etc> so tempting to release a product called 'nicotine' and wait for the patches.
<etc> then i would have a reason to only apply one patch a day. otherwise, i'm going against medical advise. |
#11841 (27/222) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<iNoah> "hi, I'm a lisp virus. please read me with an emacs mail reader and eval me."
<moof> (defun email-virus-hook 'my-virus)
<iNoah> s/defun /add-hook '/
<kermit> Noah takes defun out of everything. |
#12097 (27/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RxBandit> just remember, it's up to us kids to make sure Bill Gates doesn't get his hands on Linux |
#14568 (27/237) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prick> guess who gets to touch breasts daily? IT'S ME.
<prick> god just imagine, jojo your life
<prick> you wake up in the morning. BREASTS
<prick> you eat some lunch. BREASTS.
<prick> RIPE, FIRM AND WAITING TO BE TOUCHED
<prick> I WOULD LOVE THAT! OH WAIT..... |
#16635 (27/257) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^Fizban^> I need an external modem. Anyone have one I can download? |
#25622 (28/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kisama> these penguin mints are weak
<Guilty> Snow you're in college now, you need amphetamines
<Guilty> No weak caffeine mints |
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