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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..505506507508509510511..596Next> |
#300196 (25/85) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TrumpetSamurai> I live in OC.
<TrumpetSamurai> Kids start popping their collars here in, like, the 6th grade.
<TrumpetSamurai> It's a right of passage.
<TrumpetSamurai> You eat a Cinnabon while walking across the mall to Nordstrom's, then buy a pink polo shirt and pop the collar when you get it. |
#300803 (25/575) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4 |
#301347* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<coppro> you misunderstand
<coppro> politics is the problem
<pshawk> well yes
<pshawk> but in order to solve it you'd have to kill everyone |
#303056* (?/75) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jollybee> may I please ask how I can ask for help in here? |
#303357 (25/65) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
tanuki: [URL of photo gallery]
tanuki: thoughts?
stabnburn: why is that creepy fat lady grabbing that kids boobs
tanuki: lolwut
... time passes ...
tanuki: stabnburn: Okay, I figured out WTF you're talking about.
tanuki: "that creepy fat lady" is my mother.
tanuki: And the kid is my nephew.
stabnburn: so um. YOUR MOM
stabnburn: hahaa ahaaaahahaha hahahaahahaaaaa
jedrek: stabs has been waiting for like 4 years for this
tanuki: You fail humor forever. |
#303605* (?/55) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rithli> .......................................................................
<ikusat> watch out rithli
<ikusat> HERE COMES PACMAN ('<)
<Rithli> i poisoned the 11th dot
<Rithli> and pacman can only move in a straight line
<Rithli> he's fucked
<ikusat> (.V)...................................................
<Rithli> good
<ikusat> . (>.)...................................................
<ikusat> . (/\')...................................................
<ikusat> . * ...................................................
<Rithli> pacmelt.wav
<ikusat> ('<) x 2
<Rithli> wtff!!!!
<ikusat> dude i put in 3 quarters
<ikusat> fuckin thinkin ahead |
#304079* (?/71) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Doku> Want a mindfuck?
<LtBrenton> sure
* LtBrenton imagines a condom |
#304199* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
bunny: i'm pretty sure my girlfriend reads my texts
bunny: i even called her out on it once after i caught her red handed
bunny: and she denied it
bunny: and i got in trouble
muffy: oh fuck that
muffy: don't date a jedi
muffy: never works |
#304282* (?/59) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+Cepheus> Why wasn't the SS called the ß for short? |
#304829* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<bucketmouse> !8ball when will it end?
<pantsu> ¿’7 8À4Å≥¸$pŒ ÉY bÖ +(:]Ç∫†ih¡ã–Dx ¡Y›ƒí©àtC¶!Ø «PHî u’
<bucketmouse> it's still doing that?
<warpyy> well i thought i could make its answers more credible
<warpyy> so it sources them from insurance.aes256 now |
#305267* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mistah_j> "Sharking is the act of finding someone in public when they're not paying attention to their surroundings, ejaculating on them, and running awa"y
<||bass> how can you just run up to them and BAM spooge
<||bass> nobody has that quick of a trigger
<mistah_j> no
<mistah_j> you like, stand around alone, jerking off
<mistah_j> until you're ready to blow
<mistah_j> then run up to them
<mistah_j> and then let it flow
<||bass> i see you've thought this through
<mistah_j> that is my hypothesis
<||bass> uhuh
<mistah_j> i have never tested it
<mistah_j> i've only ejaculated on consenting women
<knuck> so you never ejaculated ever?
<knuck> =( |
#305527* (?/51) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lyra|Dreams> I ran a very buggy version of windows vista
<Lyra|Dreams> was fun.
<@HumanNoMore> all versions of vista are buggy.
<@HumanNoMore> try the patch utility
<@HumanNoMore> it's called FDISK |
#305754* (?/51) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
smeddy: just applied for an internship with google
smeddy: I'll let you all know when they shoot me down
poke`class: you should tell them to make an "I'm feeling moist' button |
#306152* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nupogodi> /msg nickserv identify hunter2
<Oogaboogasobaked> lol
<Oogaboogasobaked> nupogodi: i know ur password
<madmav|IRE> ******* ?
<nupogodi> if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Oogaboogasobaked> oh
<Oogaboogasobaked> evilflamingo
<alb3rt> lol
<Oogaboogasobaked> what if ur pw was just all stars
>nickserv< ghost Oogaboogasobaked evilflamingo
* Oogaboogasobaked has quit (Disconnected by services)
-NickServ- Oogaboogasobaked has been ghosted.
<nupogodi> roflmao
<alb3rt> IT WORKS!
<nupogodi> thats his real fucking password?
<Glass_Arm> Lol
<alb3rt> lol
<nupogodi> please tell me that didn't just happen
<Andrevan> hahaha
<alb3rt> that didnt just happen
<Andrevan> jesus god almightyComment: Yes, this actually happened. #reddit, freenode.
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#306172* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* SightUnseen_phone will never understand the administration of that school.
<SightUnseen_phone> Like when i found the questions/comments box on their site wrote to /dev/null
<SightUnseen_phone> And the submit button printed "thank you for your input. We will put your comment under review" |
#306831* (?/41) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< christopher> SO THE OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE BEHAVES IN A WAY THAT IMPLIES MORE MATTER EXIST THAN WHAT ONE CAN OBSERVE
< Repiphany> It is not necessary to talk in all caps, it makes me not want to talk back
< christopher> ITS A TESTOSTERONE THING I APOLOGIZE |
#309254* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<+RMD> okay so
<+RMD> i went to the mall after lunch with lauren
<+RMD> and i went into hot topic thinking they might have some kind of doctor who stuff
<+RMD> so i waded through the wiz khalifa this and the dubstep that and the fucking meme shirts
<+RMD> so one fo the guys that works there comes up and asks me if there's anything he can help find
<+RMD> i tell him i'm looking for doctor who stuff and he points me towards the front of the store
<+RMD> and it's in this corner, past a whole bunch of my little pony shit
<+RMD> so i go past and i'm lookign through the doctor whos tuff
<+RMD> and allt he pony shit is made for men, by the way,l not one part of it is feminine cut or anything
<+RMD> and the guy comes back and asks if i'm finding everything okay
<+RMD> and i say yeah jsut to get him to fuck off because i need to get out of there and intot he mens room asap
<+RMD> and the guy says you know we've got all the new friendship is magic stuff
<+RMD> and i miheard him the first time so i look up and go wut
<+RMD> and he points to the brony stuff
<+RMD> and i said i'm nto a brony and i go back to the DW stuff
<+RMD> and he says oh come on man, don't you believe in love and friendship?
<+RMD> so i said no, i'm not a brony, i don't watch my little pony or any fo that
<+RMD> and he starts talking abotu the only peopel that don't are peopel that haven't tried it yet and he started to go on abotu something else
<+RMD> and i figured i'd just fart to get him out of there because i thought i had a big one on my rectum
<+RMD> so i do
<+RMD> and it's not all fart
<+RMD> and so i pushed too hard and i splattered in my shorts
<+RMD> and the guy's expression jsut shifted
<+RMD> and he goes
<+RMD> "dude did you jsut shit"
<+RMD> and i jsut glared at him
<+RMD> dude took off and called security
<+RMD> i told the security guys that eh was making unbecoming advances towards me
<+RMD> and he just goes THAT GUY TOOK A SHIT OVER THERE
<+RMD> anyways
<+RMD> i'm not supposed to go back to that mall for 30 daysComment: irc.420chan.org #420chan
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#309816 (25/55) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<slamm> this porn im watching is using guiles theme as the music
<slamm> its true that it goes with everythingComment: #/g/tv rizon
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#310484 (25/67) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Phase4> "Reaching out to more and more gamers, Minecraft developers are planning to include subtitles for the convenience of people who have the inability to hear."
<Quora> "hisss"
<Quora> "ugh"
<Sanchal> "Clank"
<Phase4> "boom"
<Quora> "whack"
<Sanchal> "tinktinktink"
<Phase4> "mooo"
<Quora> "bawk"
<Kopachris> "zoop"
<Quora> "kodak film" |
#311219* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it’s easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom…
<Elch> i’ll take a look
<bitchchecker> don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
<Elch> that’s bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn’t meta say anything
<Elch> he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>>
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
<bitchchecker> elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i’m already at c: 30 percent
bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#) |
#2113 (26/250) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for '01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin limp? |
#3318 (26/214) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Epyon[UOPG]> Giren's Greed is being remade on PS2
* @Epyon[UOPG] faints
*** Joins: Buster
<Nomadic_Dragon> What was it for originally?
<Buster> self-arousal
<Buster> im pretty sure. |
#7127 (26/246) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** Mezoth|work was kicked by Avie_work (the last guy that said, "I think you know what I want" to me ended up in the hospital. FOR SIX MONTHS.) |
#8679 (26/233) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<toNe> Nall is like an xbox
<Nall> thank you
<toNe> big, heavy, not fun, and useless!
<Soopa> good graphics though...
<Soopa> and easy to develop for...
<toNe> and you have to pay extra to get all the features
<Soopa> and will be dead in a year
<acetonic> and Bill Gates spends Billions on it
<Nall> who will die |
#11212 (26/260) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<arckbar> I was putting in a new sound card, and I accidently ejaculated all over the inside my computer. Now my computer won't turn on. Any advice on what I should do?
<arckbar> Basically I blanked, I was putting in the card, and when I came to, there was cum all inside the machine, and my computer wouldn't work |
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