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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..510511512513514515516..596Next> |
#32980 (28/328) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Oreoz> it was dark dammit
<Oreoz> i was laughing about something you said
<DAVO> sick
<Oreoz> then all of a sudden
<DAVO> hahaha
<Oreoz> WHOOOO
<Oreoz> WTF
<Oreoz> SOMETHIGNS UP MY ASS |
#46339 (28/130) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<oneTraicovn> I still think that the porn domain should have been .cum and not .xxx |
#52771 (28/180) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(actionshrimp) my friend said he had the gaelicum.a virus, and the first thing i thought was gay lick cum, does that make me queer? |
#61203 (28/366) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Romykins> Well, grass is always greener on the other side etc etc
<Omi> That saying is so stupid
<Omi> Have you ever turned a bit of grass over? For a start, it's not green.
<Xa> A blade of grass or a field of grass?
<Omi> Field... cut a square of grass from a garden and turn it over. I'd love to meet the person who came up with that saying.
<Omi> I bet you the moron was colorblind. |
#158063 (28/136) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Craiggers> DG was making me watch Chimp Eden tonight and the dude was trying to catch bushmeat traders.
<Craiggers> It was fucking pathetic, he was standing there, being as White as my fucking bare ass with a camera crew, asking his Black friend to ask the bushmeat trader if he had any chimpanzee.
<Craiggers> The dude behind the counter was like "Uhhh, we do not sell chimpanzee because that is illegal and...uhh...wrong."
<Craiggers> Hell, I mean, why don't I go to downtown Indy with a fucking camera crew and ask to buy some crack.
<DeaconVerter> lol
<snex_lptp> maybe they figure a dumb knee-grow doesnt know what a camera is
<Craiggers> "Excuse me, my brother, I believe that I am whack for crack, and am interested in transacting with one who may be able to accommodate my business need." |
#223705* (?/48) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<foobaz> i graduated and am trying to find my first real job in years
<qdc> foobaz - what kind of job you looking for
<Cyrius> chicken sexer
<qdc> doesnt that take years of training?
<Cyrius> not the way foo wants to do it |
#297361* (?/62) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(11:40:44 PM) Latias is a man: :D
(11:41:00 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: :P
(11:41:04 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: There we go
(11:41:25 PM) Latias is a man: There are still only 9. :|
(11:41:30 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: >.>
(11:41:32 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: Try again
(11:41:48 PM) Latias is a man: ONLY (
(11:41:49 PM) Latias is a man: 9*
(11:42:01 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: Try again
(11:42:20 PM) Latias is a man: ...
(11:42:20 PM) Latias is a man: 9
(11:42:39 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: Omg
(11:42:39 PM) Latias is a man: Count them yourself
(11:42:42 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: I did
(11:42:47 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: There are 10 commas
(11:42:55 PM) Latias is a man: Where is the tenth one?
(11:43:02 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: In the periods?
(11:43:16 PM) Latias is a man: *counts*
(11:43:21 PM) Latias is a man: There's only 9! XD
(11:43:50 PM) doziguy@hotmail.com is now known as DoZiGuy.
(11:43:57 PM) DoZiGuy: bbl
(11:44:03 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: NO!
(11:55:30 PM) DoZiGuy: Back
(11:55:38 PM) DoZiGuy: WHERE ARE THE 10 COMMAS
(11:55:47 PM) DoZiGuy: POINT THEM OUT SPECIFIALLY XD
(11:55:47 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: ...i'm done
(11:55:55 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: No point in wasting breathe
(11:55:57 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: Or..keys
(11:56:06 PM) DoZiGuy: Latias
(11:56:07 PM) DoZiGuy: There
(11:56:08 PM) DoZiGuy: Are
(11:56:09 PM) DoZiGuy: Only
(11:56:10 PM) DoZiGuy: 9
(11:56:11 PM) DoZiGuy: Comma
(11:56:12 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: 10*
(11:56:12 PM) DoZiGuy: s
(11:56:19 PM) DoZiGuy: ANYWHERE IN YOUR NAME
(11:56:25 PM) DoZiGuy: BETWEEN THE PERIODS OR OTHERWISE
(11:58:03 PM) Find the commas..........,................,.......,...,......,..,,.....,,..Did you get all 10?: Jk :P |
#301907* (?/74) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
sejfhuiew: except its like funny cars
Jason Lorelei: oh
sejfhuiew: rude
Jason Lorelei: rude?
sejfhuiew: yeah I hate when people just say "oh"
Jason Lorelei: oh. |
#303045* (?/68) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<blackdevl> so at bbq yesterday, moms friends daughter was there
<blackdevl> and she said something and said "it looks like rave gloves"
<blackdevl> so i was like, did you say rave gloves, or rape gloves
<blackdevl> cause, i have both
<blackdevl> however, the rape gloves are slightly usedComment: EFnet #windows2000
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#303285* (?/44) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Andys> oh dear
< Andys> in ruby, symbols are represented with a prepended colon
< Andys> eg. :flag
< Andys> so some guy tshirt that said ":sex"
< Andys> which everyone at railscamp knew meant "Sex symbol"
< Andys> he wore it until someone pointed out that to non-rubyists it said "Colon sex" |
#303955 (-8/104) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
singularity: I don't find alcohol is so much liquid courage
singularity: as it is liquid loss of bladder control |
#303998* (?/52) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Arlight> Last night was occupied, for me and a couple friends, with playing Diablo II over LAN - every time one of us used a town portal, we all had to drink (had a couple tallboys each of Steel Reserve). Was a good time.
<Jeff|Laptop> dude, you turned diablo 2 into a drinking game!
<Jeff|Laptop> i gotta dig out my discs and install again
<Arlight> Fuck yeah we did.
<Arlight> Halfway through, we added in an 'everyone drinks when someone levels' clause, too.
<Arlight> We had a barbarian named "HUR_DUR", a sorceress named "Tipper", and a warwilf by the name of "Doggles_Micgee".
<Jeff|Laptop> lmao @ HUR_DUR
<Arq> HURF DURF
<Arlight> It was great - we'd use his TP and read off the name - "TOWN PORTAL TO CLAW VIPER TEMPLE, HURRRR DURRRRR" |
#304339* (?/50) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Elizabeth: it's looking like the green party candidate for IL governor might actually win o.O
Adam: woo xD
Adam: Fuck the green party, too, though.
Adam: Fuck politicians
Elizabeth: the green party is better than the other two. >_>
Elizabeth: I hate politics too
Adam: that's like comparing shit from various species :P
Elizabeth: rabbit shit is a hard, odourless pellet that makes good fertiliser (greens)
Elizabeth: dog shit smells horrible and contains parasites (republicans)
Elizabeth: cat shit is not much better (democrats)
Elizabeth: so there you go. |
#304862 (28/70) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FuegoFish> Natural Weapon basically has the following options: imitating an Arcane spell, or being a built-in Martial weapon
<FuegoFish> which means that yes you could have gunhands if you wanted
<FuegoFish> or a crossbow for a dickComment: #partyhard, irc.synirc.net
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#305225* (?/54) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<an0n[Coma]> Barney Stinson (from How I Met Your Mother) lost his virginity at 23? All my dreams, torn asunder...
<an0n[Coma]> And no, before any of you backstabbing cunts says it, it's not because that means I can no longer be Barney. >:/
<an0n[Coma]> Hmmm. I would need to be blonde...
<an0n[Coma]> And secretly gay...
<an0n[Coma]> I'm already halfway there.
<T1g4h> you're blonde now?
<an0n[Coma]> .....Sure, why not? |
#305826* (?/52) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
CWalker: On a related note, my class is getting pizza in english tomorrow
CWalker: As a celebration of the completion of our folios
Beardface: Man, I am tired, I thought you said completion of our felatios
Beardface: The pizza would've been there for the bitter aftertaste I imagine
Beardface: well I guess it's more salty then bitter
Beardface: but I digress
CWalker: You *guess*?
CWalker: Do tell more
Beardface: I would tell a story right now, but I'd embaress myself ON THE INTERNET
CWalker: And that would be truly horrific
Beardface: Fuck eeeet, so a while ago I may have been experimented with self felattio. After many tries, I finally succedeed. In this moment of glory, I got past the point of no return, and in order to avoid stickyfying my entire face, I...
Beardface: well, you can probably guess
CWalker: I can't
CWalker: Continue
Beardface: Well, I had to...swallow, since my bathroom is across from my parent's room, and me going through with my mouth filled with liquid and my pants to my knees would've been hawkward. Of course I didn't realise that this was happening at night.
Beardface: so I could've gone away with it.
Beardface: But eh. |
#305829* (?/46) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&AlliedEnvy> Mm, I dunno. I'm pissed at these libraries. They won't let me search in the way I want. If I just had access to their database, I'm sure I could format an SQL query to get what I want.
<@scythe> I've had the same problem with the NSA for several years. :/Comment: superhacker
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#305882* (?/58) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Octopuss> i come up with creative names for my variables and methods
<+Octopuss> double penetration; |
#306500* (?/50) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> "Press any key to continue uninstallation"
<fahadsadah> DUDE THIS IS A <censored> TOUCH SCREEN PHONE
<jercos> Get out your house key, and press it on the screen.
<fahadsadah> I don't have one, my parents don't trust me
<jercos> Someday, when screens are multircognition systems that will like, scan notes and read fingerprints pressed on them, I will make an app for that
<jercos> You will have to press a literal key to continue.
<fahadsadah> I will literally kill you. |
#306977* (?/56) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
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<dravekx> damn
<dravekx> I never make that list |
#307350* (?/44) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MostAwesomeDude> Here's an easy guide: How to tell if it's a bug?
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in Minecraft Wiki under Trivia, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's listed in a changelog as a -feature instead of a +feature, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If it's not listed in a changelog, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> If Notch tweets about it more than once, it's a bug.
<MostAwesomeDude> Hopefully this clears some things up.
<electronicsRules> MostAwesomeDude: By your last statement, *minecraft* *itself* is a bug
<MostAwesomeDude> electronicsRules: Well, yes.
<MostAwesomeDude> Don't tell anybody though.Comment: #mcdevs on freenode
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#307637 (28/194) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Knack> i've just had someone from newcastle trying to say 8 A A over the phone
<Knack> took about 5 attempts until i understood him
<ZoFreX> eight alpha alpha
<ZoFreX> what's the problem :P
<retrominge> Knack: eeeet, eeeee, eeeee?
<retrominge> :D
<Knack> sounded like he was saying hay hay hayComment: #reddit-uk
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#307801 (1/73) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Drazhar> someone help me
<Drazhar> because I think I went insane
<Drazhar> I found something that I agree with Glenn Beck on
<Malware> Drazhar
<Malware> You are undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Drazhar> The radio talk-show host says George Lucas should be "tried for movie crimes" not only for what he has done to a beloved franchise, but also for producing "Red Tails."
<Drazhar> George HAS fucked up Star Wars big time
<Malware> Now we are both undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Malware> Because now I agree with Glenn Beck. |
#309073 (29/69) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kyre> thou shalt not lay out thine floating point in any way other than the direction specified by ieee 754Comment: #darkplaces
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#309610 (28/40) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@dfdashh> divVerent: all new in oracle 12c - auto-increment columns :P
<@divVerent> now I finally know why they had to buy MySQLComment: #xonotic
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