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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..92939495969798..599Next> |
#305055 (220/346) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Nuvero> man, i think i just got trolled hard
<Nuvero> i was taking a dump, when I notice a Playboy is lying in the newspaper box, so I started reading it
<Nuvero> (reading it, no fapping, or anything)
<Nuvero> halfway through, I hear the door open, and a knife appeared
<Nuvero> i was like "holy fucking shit!" and started pulling my pants up real quick
<Nuvero> when the door fully open, and here is my dad, with a knife in his hand, taking a photo of me
<Nuvero> freaked out, trying to pull up my pants, with a Playboy in the hand
<Nuvero> i... don't know what to think. |
#305512 (70/104) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before |
#311431 (61/89) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
curiousjock> hi
<sickleanna> hiya curiousjock
<curiousjock> hey there sickleanna
<bubblegumbitch> oh sick leanna. i thought anna was a communist lol
* sickleanna is now known as sickle-anna
<sickle-anna> lets roll with it
<TungstenCarbide> can't roll
<TungstenCarbide> someone sliced the tires
<TungstenCarbide> someone with a SICKLE |
#14638 (273/429) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Noctornus-> you know what they say about a guy with small hands......
<+Anton> "He doesn't have big hands"? |
#16682 (273/429) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** UndErX has joined #help
<UndErX> sup lamer newbies
<UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
<FiEsTy-> well, ask
<UndErX> no newbie lamer
<UndErX> lamerz
<FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes me quit IRC.. please
*** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-) |
#21746 (251/394) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<spectre> fear, frank is one of power rangers.
<spectre> the pink one.
<Frank> spec shut up. I used to be red but my mum washed it at a too high temperature and it faded :( |
#25144 (269/423) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ebony> Did anyone else realize that the media-dubbed "The War Against Terrorism" comes out as "TWAT"? |
#28916 (263/413) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<zdog> Cuz you're stupid.
<boo> ah, the crux of Internet Debate. |
#29936 (275/433) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Flaze> forum still down?
<Vye-rus> Check yourself
<Vye-rus> We're not slaves
<Flaze> yep
<Flaze> still down
<Vye-rus> haha thanks for checking for me |
#30560 (360/570) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<munkey> back when i was a kid, i had a good wholesome role model
<munkey> his name was mario
<munkey> he busted blocks with his head
<munkey> but he was a good guy
<munkey> not like all these thugged out rapper dudes
<munkey> have you ever seen nelly bust a block with his head to reveal coins?
<munkey> i think not. |
#31933 (342/540) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sdfdtailgrep> Things I learned today:
<sdfdtailgrep> * About 10% of all people on the road are good samaritans
<sdfdtailgrep> * It's actually quite fun to be stuck in a ditch, when you have a mp3 CD player and some music.
<sdfdtailgrep> * Snowplows in Guelph cover both directions of a rural road every 30 minutes
<sdfdtailgrep> * Les Quebecios have a swiss-army knife of knowledge, tools, and experience when it comes to rescuing stranded cars
<sdfdtailgrep> * All the winter tires in the world are not going to stop you from being a complete dumbass
<sdfdtailgrep> * Flat land does not mean solid land, there might be a ditch under that snowComment: #railfan irc.oftc.net
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#32138 (272/428) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+x24[java]> an e-mail from our IT guy:
<+x24[java]> I have about 15 small bags of oregano (yeah, it looks like something else, but I swear it's oregano) - if you're interested in one, give me a buzzComment: #gideontech
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#9214 (287/453) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<lukeiyo-e> my housemate alex used to deliver drugs on his bike
<lukeiyo-e> .. from a chemist he says
<kodos> speed on a bike
<lukeiyo-e> peddling crack |
#8282 (217/339) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> i thought you did music?
<baygledawg> oh i wish
<baygledawg> that would be my second dream job
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> what's your first? professional sperm producer?
<baygledawg> ok, writing music would be my third dream job |
#948 (262/412) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you try to load a game, there's a 6% chance it pops up a dialog that says "It's not loading! Tap the A button to blow the dust out." |
#1569 (286/450) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<defproc> i made a program that crashed once. i put it in my resumé and sent it to microsoft. |
#2062 (210/328) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Arsentia> ARRRRRRRGH
<Arsentia> I just lost the fucking picture on my Chem lab!
<Merl> hehehehehe
<Merl> neeeener neeeener ;-)
[Time Passes]
<Merl> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
<Merl> I just lost my whole fucking ESSAY i wrote this weekend
<Merl> DAMN MS WORD SHIT
<Assasin> wait
<Assasin> Wait a second.
<Assasin> Was it you who was laughing at Arse? |
#2222 (258/405) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were watching the discovery channel today at work where there were these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel |
#1116 (218/342) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<var> hrmm
<var> how the fuck did a shortcut to e13ay end up on my desktop
<var> what kinda nefarious shit is windows update pulling
<Guilty> It's your computers way of saying it wants a new owner
<Guilty> Like a dog scratching on the door to get out |
#6876 (225/353) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Spectra> hrm. Optus are going to start charging me >= $10 more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay more for your service". |
#1640 (280/442) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Inoshiro> Wth
<Inoshiro> "Don't iron, don't put in a triangle, don't put in an oval"
<harb> Er?
<Inoshiro> Is there a translation table for the washing tag on clothing? |
#294981 (225/353) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<darkeLite> hmm
<darkeLite> what's another good search engine
<AtUnionWithKi> google it |
#302767 (41/59) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@packrat> ugh, whose great idea was it to tie piercing sizes to wire gauge standards
<+indigo> i think it's a great idea
<+Stormgren> probably because piercing posts, are, to an extent, based on metal wire?
<@packrat> sucks for stretching though
<+indigo> it makes answering questions like "how much current could the hole in my ear handle, when filled with copper?" easy
<+Stormgren> LMAO
<@packrat> hah
<+Stormgren> that depends on how fast your earlobe can dissipate heat
<+Stormgren> otherwise you have to provide a earlobe derating factor to the wire
<+indigo> i'd think an ear is a better heatsink than air
<@packrat> yeah, bloodflow can dissipate heat to the rest of the body
<+indigo> it's liquid cooled |
#306898 (116/178) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<KP9000> wheelchairs are awesome when you're not crippled |
#311127 (48/70) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<danh> some super creepy dude has sat down at my table
<danh> im about to get stabbed
<l0de> are you at a coffee shop
<danh> yeah
<danh> 20 tables free... chose me!
<danh> he's not wearing any underwear
<danh> dont ask me how i know |
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