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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..96979899100101102..599Next> |
#301013 (335/537) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@pheedbaQ> proffalken: bust is unimportant, so long as they have a vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> I disagree.
< FearTheBeaker> You have to stare at teh bust more often than the vag.
<@pheedbaQ> I thinkyou mean "get to" not "have to"
< proffalken> or "compelled to by forces beyond your control"
<@pheedbaQ> And be that as it may, I can stare at women's breasts all day. But at the end of the day, I'm geting into
far fewer vaginas than breasts I'm staring at. Hell, by definition I'm getting no more than half as many
vag's as breasts I'm looking at.
<@pheedbaQ> Therefore, the breast is a relatively abundant resource, while the vag is a scarce and precious commodity.
< proffalken> like diamonds vs. uranium
<@pheedbaQ> Exactly
< FearTheBeaker> eh, sometimes you get depleted uranium.
< proffalken> better than cubic zirconium
< FearTheBeaker> that sounds painful.
<@pheedbaQ> diamonds are nice to look at, but when it comes right down to it, it's just a bunch of carbon that has
been crushed together. While uranium is harder to find, self-depletes, and it's dangerous to handle both
the source of the uranium, and the uranium itself.
<@pheedbaQ> Just like vagina.
< FearTheBeaker> in that case, use protection. |
#301701 (156/244) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Matt: im never going to sleep again
Matt: I just had a dream that consisted of me attempting to save the world in a zombified universe. Saving it meant finding a cigar from 7-11 (it HAD to be 7-11) so that I could shove it up my ex girlfriends ass (who was with another guy because he's better at his job than me) and light the cigar, prompting it to turn into a rocket and launch her into the moon. |
#35740 (302/482) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
the_white2086: just thinking, 2 saddest thing I have seen for a while
the_white2086: 1) instructions on toothpicks
the_white2086: 2) warning many contain traces of nuts (on a bag of penuts)
phlipping: how do you fit instructions on a toothpick?
phlipping: they're pretty small
the_white2086: packet of toothpicks
phlipping: well, if you use small enough type, then "Put tooth here -->" would suffice
the_white2086: :))
the_white2086: seriously though
the_white2086: 1) moisten tip gently with tounge
the_white2086: 2) insert between teeth with flat edge next ot gum
the_white2086: 3) use with a gentle in/out rocking motion
phlipping: I don't know what's more sad. That there were instructions on a toothpick packet or that you remember them |
#49040 (319/511) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AwsmBatman> you keep misreading my sentences
<AwsmBatman> You need to develop better grammatical skills
<aibuddybot> Perhaps you could develop better grammatical skills and add it to my source code.
<AwsmBatman> ...you win this round |
#50199 (353/569) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
capn_midnight wtf? I put down 300, and it said I was winning at 255, then it said that someone else won the bid at 244 and change.
Phantom ha><0red by 3-b4y!
kSquared I have you leading the bid at $255
kSquared with 32 seconds left
kSquared want a screenshot?
capn_midnight I even refreshed 3 times and it said I was winning
capn_midnight sure, kSquared, that would be great
Phantom Python, "haxored by e-bay"
* JM has joined #gamedev
JM Whohoo!
JM I just cheated some dude out of a winning bid! |
#58053 (273/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Dodgepot> holy shit..
<+Dodgepot> I have a daughter
<+Dodgepot> bbs |
#58781 (353/565) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
qreepyboris: However, I can tell you with authority that my French extra credit project is going to ROCK
qreepyboris: We're making a film of a few shortish skits in French
qreepyboris: And one of them is so awesome
qreepyboris: Schindler and Santa accidentally mix up their naughty and nice lists. :-)
qreepyboris: So Santa goes to all the Jews' houses and they're not there, 'cuz they're all in camps
qreepyboris: And I haven't read the whole script, but there is no way it can possibly be not funny |
#70479 (380/612) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<%spock1104> what am i, a girl?
* spock1104 looks down
<%spock1104> i don't see a vagina
<+Toba|BSD> your boobs are in the wayComment: #wpi
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#74537 (393/631) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@STARSBarry) tbh i saw funniest thing ever
(@STARSBarry) there was a black dude as santa in fenicks
(@STARSBarry) and the kid was
(@STARSBarry) "your not the real santa your black"
(@Steepmas) poor Santa :(
(@STARSBarry) and he said "i am?"
(@STARSBarry) he said it was off the soot in the chimneysComment: Best Santa Excuse ever ! in Newcastle
|
#76974 (264/420) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<zashi> I could get a few pounds of unrefined uranium
<Red_Herring> your ass would be in guantanimo before i could figure out how to spell 'guantanimo'
<Red_Herring> which in your defense, ill never figure out how to spell |
#77469 (308/492) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mike> im taking physics, english, comp sci, discrete math
<drmario> discrete math?
<drmario> like, y = mx + b only when nobody is looking?Comment: #freebasic
|
#14776 (291/464) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Psinic> windows 98 is like that drunk uncle that thinks he knows everything and always tries to convince you he was a CIA operative, and when you argue, he gets violent and then passes out. |
#20866 (270/430) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hydro`> i had this weird dream
<hydro`> someome broke into the house
<hydro`> and changed the wallpaper on the computer and left |
#25128 (230/364) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@daerid> I have a drinking problem
<@daerid> I just spilled pepsi on my shirt 4 times in a row |
#27214 (262/416) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<banuaba> nick, do you think a baby could eat another baby?
<nick> if it was hungry enough, sure
<nick> why?
<banuaba> dunno
<banuaba> just trying to plan my day |
#27878 (276/440) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<candle> I think morrowind is the only game where you get rewarded for jumping around the countryside like a retard. |
#29886 (4291/7117) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Garf> Did you know, Alt+Z makes your text go backwards in most IRC clients?
<Garf> .ereh ti did I ?eeS
* Parts: Bamral (B1@xiph-IALHNG.ne.client2.attbi.com)
* Parts: Benjamin_L (~BenjaminL@xiph-IEIAFM.dip.t-dialin.net)
* Parts: menno (menno@cal16a041.student.utwente.nl)
* Parts: TheLink (TheLink@p213.54.189.36.tisdip.tiscali.de) |
#32044 (302/482) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+DoomSooth> I went to Providence Middle School in Virginia.
<+DoomSooth> The cheerleaders had PMS in big letters on their uniforms. |
#32827 (354/568) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Allahkat> You know how they make like, "Totally 80's" cds? They should make Pity-Party cds. "Just Got Dumped"
<Allahkat> "No One Home For Christmas"
<bunnieWork> "I Eat Ramen With My Cats Every Night"
<Allahkat> HAHAHAHA
<Allahkat> "I Chat In IRC 24 Hours A Day"
<Allahkat> Oh...wait...
<bunnieWork> HAHAHa...ha.
* bunnieWork sobs
* Allahkat polishes her gun |
#14983 (257/409) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bring> My mom, out of the blue
<bring> asked me if I ever thought of joining the army
<bring> and was like "I don't approve of that, but you might like it" and I was like "approve of what?" so she was like "you know, killing people" |
#16652 (265/423) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DmDragon> all my cars are haunted
<DmDragon> i had one car where the glove compartment would keep opening at random times
<DmDragon> so it opened once and i just finally said "fuck you stay open" well the car stalled out the radio turned on and off and the flashlights started flashing while the windshield wipers started
<DmDragon> so i slowly reached over and closed it.. then the car just went back to normal |
#24174 (313/501) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Gnell|CHAMPION> OMG A DONKEY JUST WENT BY OUTSIDE MY HOUSE
<Gnell|CHAMPION> i wanna ride it
* Gnell|CHAMPION is away |
#26431 (279/447) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<snif> i jsut asked if any one knew how to change ports and stuff
<taras> yes, you visit your local harbourmaster and tell him you want your ship to be in a different port from now on
<grifferz> you go to your liquor retailer
<grifferz> and you say, "sorry, I do not like this port, please supply me with another"
<snif> no need to be total dicks about it you guys can go fuck your self |
#103018 (109/169) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kojispruke> Wow, people really hate Flavor Flav. D:
<StairMasterNem> flavor flav?
<Kojispruke> Well, there's this website or whatever where you enter to be on his show and people vote for you and stuff
<Kojispruke> Mudkip and goatse are winning so far
<StairMasterNem> .... |
#140717 (303/485) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< TXX> i got free version : D (of xchat)
< ^Hav0c^> the one that crashes when you click the icon in the taskbar?
/*/ [Out] TXX
(~TrickyXX@cpe.atm4-0-78119.0x573d1992.aaanxx4.customer.tele.dk) has
quit [Read error: Connection reset by peer]
< TheDarkestDay> yup |
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