|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..91929394959697..599Next> |
#38220 (148/228) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MrDictionary> When I die, I want to be buried with my Wi-Fi BB Router so that people will gather around my grave and use me as a Wireless Access Point. |
#38310 (271/425) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Zibro> [13:03] <Roommate> "1,100 registered sexual predators in the county.
<@Zibro> that made me think
<@Zibro> of an idea for a movie!
<@Zibro> ILLEGAL ALIEN VS SEXUAL PREDATOR |
#39754 (199/309) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<timmo> i hate people who im me on aim, and expect me to keep the conversation going
<Rjx> do what I do
<Rjx> say 'brb'
<Rjx> and then don't return
<timmo> you stole that from me
<Rjx> brb |
#42134 (298/468) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Ebola> spankmeistress: My tongue hurts, I bit it today :(
<spankmeistress> *sigh*
* spankmeistress licks it better
<Ebola> :)
<Darksun> Hmm
<Darksun> My penis hurts...
<TimTim> ...
<Darksun> What, it's worth a tryComment: #uplink on irc.uplinkcorp.net
|
#42930 (281/441) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<_stan> old macdonald had a farm
<_stan> e-i-e-i-o
<_stan> and on that farm he had a 40-50% statistical likelihood of committing an unnatural sex act with an animal according to the research of alfred kinsey
<_stan> e-i-e-i-oComment: #ampedOut nursery rhyme
|
#43666 (256/400) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<R3mix> ok so there was this time
<R3mix> i had got my new GeForce 6800 Ultra 3 days previous
<R3mix> and i had just put on better thermal compound and overclocked it
<R3mix> and so i booted up and started UT2k4 and a few mins later i smelled like this horrible burning smell
<R3mix> and it scared the crap out of me
<Jason_> Is your video card ok?
<R3mix> yeah, the smell turned out to be my moms cooking |
#50837 (281/441) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Samantha_Carter> is it possible that someone can be so handicapped in his eyesight that he wouldnt see anything with glasses?
<Samantha_Carter> he wouldnt even be able to recognize shapes or anything?
<wilkz> yes sam - its called being blind. |
#54081 (329/521) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rjx> the big bang doesn't explain a lot about the internet
<Rjx> internet?
<Rjx> universe
<Rjx> what the fuck |
#55084 (303/477) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fruitkat> .... and four aprons.. but still SIX KNIVES!
<fruitkat> and theres one called the 'stiff boning knife'
<fruitkat> ohhhh yeahhhh.
<fruitkat> im pretty much going to be boning dead animals.
* thousand has changed the topic to: <fruitkat> im pretty much going to be boning dead animals.
<fruitkat> ah crap.
<@thousand> Sorry, it had to be done :)Comment: #qc
|
#56737 (255/399) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice |
#62295 (247/389) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Domr0x>Do you have a tape recorder?
<CuzCiz>No
<CuzCiz>but i have a pc with a good mic
<Domr0x>hmm, dont think we can smuggle your pc into the red hot chili peppers concert |
#68259 (218/340) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mrk_mat> I am BRILLIANT
<mrk_mat> found the loophole I needed to get what I wanted done
<d4_teh_gr8> "it aint cheatin if she's your cousin"? |
#38785 (210/328) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Vhab> so anyways, why are you installing linux King_Louie?
<@Vhab> specially since you are linuxfobic
<@King_Louie> cause i just read the licensing terms for windows 2003 for service providers
<@King_Louie> and now i see the point in free software
<@Vhab> aah the "your soul now belongs to microsoft" part |
#41708 (227/355) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<davidmccabe> I tried making a parody of crappy techno. The problem is, it's indistinguishable from real crappy techno. |
#44206 (230/360) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[WhipSmart] how has humanity lasted this long..?
[Mordenkainen] because sharks can't walkComment: Quakenet #funchat
|
#47834 (265/417) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
mikester has joined #geekissues
<mikester> must go now 1 alienware area51-m laptop. price 550 includes sameday shipping, case, wireless router and ipod mini = blue, message mcsltd2@hotmail.com on msn or justmikeeh on aim if your interested
mikester has left #geekissues
<live> i certianly could use a severely underpriced laptop being advertised over the internet through IRC
<live> i smell no scam
<pinin> no way i msged him first!
<pinin> BACK OFF
<live> ITS MINE BITCH |
#51244 (321/507) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<the_fonz> i've been dating this chick
<the_fonz> it's been my most stable relationship
<the_fonz> i thought it would last a while
<the_fonz> TURNS OUT SHE'S MY COUSIN |
#54998 (278/438) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<KArmA> just overheard in the office "look man its not an exact science. We don't have any formal QA procedures that say 'if the customer sets the box up like a complete assworshiping rimjobber fucktard with a button pushing fetish then subsystems A, B, C and 12 will break horrifically'"Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
|
#56407 (277/439) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<thefwf> "Hello. I am very interested in this item and may be able to meet you in person to collect the hair, or possibly shave it off myself? How old are you? Thank you."
<thefwf> That's what I get for selling my chest hair on eBay |
#57733 (282/444) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<FlaVouR> BTW Jewel == a South African Buddy of mine
<pinin> i figured you two knew each other since you are the only ones in the country with internet
<FlaVouR> pinin dont make me set my lion on youComment: #geekissues
|
#86063 (325/513) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* custardpringle was talking about how she regularly sleeps in the art building thursday nights because she works late thursdays and has art hw due first thing fridays
<Eiko> what do you sleep on?
<custardpringle> there is a lounge. with couches.
<custardpringle> I try not to think too hard about them.
* Eiko spent a week of freshman year in college sleepingin the Physical Therapy lab after doing something horrible.
<Eiko> so I know that feeling
<Ellie> Uh oh?
<Eiko> well, my freshman roommate was, uh, very amorous...
<Eiko> ...and I stopped enjoying having to find somewhere else to sleep other than my own bed on weekends...
<Eiko> ...an I was staff on the campus radio station...
<Eiko> so yeah, to save my life I slept in the PT lab for a week until my roommate stopped wanting to kill me for broadcasting twenty minutes of fucking.
<Eiko> I note it was not a live broadcast.
<Eiko> I taped it and played it on the air. |
#86852 (317/501) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jeeves> so we got these new sliding filing shelfs put in today
<jeeves> and a bud was grabbing some files, so he hit the latch to slide the shelf over
<jeeves> pushing it against some other shelfs
<jeeves> so i ran and stood inbetween the closing shelfs
<jeeves> and shouted "Shut down all the trash compactors on the detention level!- No, all of them!"
<jeeves> naturally, my bud was startled and stopped
<jeeves> so I started laughing my ass off and walked out of the filing room
<jeeves> nobody got the joke :(
<op> dude you're a geek
<jeeves> i know |
#130097 (252/396) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+openfly> i did a self evaluation once.
<+openfly> i don't think they'll ever ask for one again.
<+openfly> i had fucking charts in it. |
#141301 (474/756) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< grey> So I had an idea today
< grey> of something that could amuse me, if only because I know out there somewhere, someone else would laugh
< grey> I want to get an ebay username of something creepy, like "WatchingU.P", then buy stuff like a telescope or pinhole camera, then leave feedback like "A+++, Fast Shipping, You should get that mole checked!" |
#300810 (415/659) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL. |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..91929394959697..599Next> |
|