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#59652 (278/442) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<user573> i buy all my software, especially ms stuff
<sav> sure
<sav> i buy all my movies too
<sav> and mp3s
<sav> i mean cds |
#103426 (697/1129) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Justin: Is there something wrong with only having women I can trust deeply enough to call on for advice with life's curveballs?
Scaramouche: Nope.
Scaramouche: Women are infinitely better than men at that sort of thing.
Justin: Probably.. but shouldn't I try to get a male perspective on things too?
Scaramouche: You HAVE a male perspective, remember?
Justin: Oh ya...
Scaramouche: LMAO |
#115623 (272/432) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ellington8> whats a 999 error?
<blynzoo> A german argument. |
#250200 (201/317) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SirPNut> look, given the choice between turning off the internet router, and turning off the life support machine for a loved one.. who here wouldn't choose to leave the router plugged in ?
<+Marticus> SirPNut: you just said the same thing twice, i dont understandComment: #peeringsa
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#294880 (236/374) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ElandurGGG: That'd be sweet if right before the new president got sworn in, the old president was getting sworn out in some dark dungeon, where he'll be locked up chained to a wall until he starves to death.
ElandurGGG: That'd be a SWEET tradition.
EstherMeowMix: hahha
ElandurGGG: And people could come see him whenever, and give him food.
ElandurGGG: And the judgement of how good the president was is based on how long people keep coming to feed him.
EstherMeowMix: yeah
ElandurGGG: How long it takes until everyone just loses interest and stops visiting.
EstherMeowMix: wow that's some sadistic shit
ElandurGGG: I think it's the best thing I've ever written. |
#300769 (404/648) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Nick A dot: so you dont believe in aliens?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: no
Nick A dot: so you believe that in this whole unfathamably huge universe, we're the ONLY life?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: yep, thats the way God made it
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: and theyre not mentioned in the bible so they obviously dont exist
Nick A dot: i see... do you believe in dinosaurs?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: well yeah of course, weve found their remains!
Nick A dot: yeah, but THEYRE not mentioned in the bible
xXH0tsuMm3RfUnXx is offline |
#309461 (67/99) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* strcat just has to figure out how to integrate it into the build process :)
<cmr> good luck
<cmr> those makefiles look like small animals could get lost and die in them |
#12768 (269/427) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<eltawater> anyone know the name of a (mathematical) function which calculates how many times a number M fits into a number N?
<eltawater> i.e. 20,4 = 5
<eltawater> ?
<Biddle> Division?
<AlleyCat> divisor
<eltawater> er
<eltawater> *smacks head into desk* |
#14826 (238/376) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<^Matt^> I didn't win the lotto btw
<^Matt^> :/
<Windogg> doh
<^Matt^> yeah I really thought I had a chance this time
<^Matt^> like this was the one
<^Matt^> :)
<Windogg> Kinda like the time I felt this one girl was "the one" I got a tight queasy feeling in my stomach, my heart started beating faster, my breath quickened, I started sweating, and I got all weak
<Windogg> Turned out to be undercooked hamburgers |
#21423 (312/498) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* sleepysid is away: brb getting married |
#28684 (244/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lilmissdjgrl> Do you want a cookie?
<EvilCouch> no thanks, I've got directories full of them |
#29029 (266/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<manda> you know, to get a degree, you have to think about something other than your dick for more than 5 seconds
<AchtunG`> i know but its hard |
#29351 (319/509) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MightyQuinn> You know about those roman hackers.
<MightyQuinn> THey were I III III VII. |
#32294 (304/484) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Travisimo> I always thought Pooh and Piglet were always happy because they weren't wearing pants. |
#187 (370/592) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA' |
#8965 (196/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** gamingsloop0r is now known as sloop
<@sloop> parents
<@sloop> fs
<@sloop> when u leave home remember this important lesson
<@sloop> on a sunday
<@sloop> when ur not doing anything
<@sloop> phone them
<@sloop> or
<@sloop> they will phone u when ur busy
<@sloop> and expect a 1 hr conversation
<@ronin\dm> well it is fathers' day
<@sloop> oh shit
<@sloop> brb making a call |
#953 (353/563) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
* Mutiny runs and washes his eyes out with bleach |
#1124 (282/448) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DigDug> internet access to productivity is what condoms are to babies.
<Ash> A choking hazard? |
#5775 (377/602) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole -
<ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS |
#129 (699/1137) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cndz> what would jesus do>
<Josh> probably get crucified and die |
#10774 (282/449) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"
<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"
<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word
<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again
<guyen> shit, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass |
#134980 (295/471) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<seraph> Hm
<seraph> I just got an e-mail from a friend's mom
<seraph> subject like "Are you able to give the gift of life?"
<seraph> I think it's about a blood drive, but it never actually explicitly says so
<seraph> Highlights from body text:
<seraph> "What a great opportunity to 'visit' and catch up."
<seraph> "It takes about an hour and you get the best cookies!"
<nodoze> ...is she hot? |
#140454 (590/958) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<1moreplz> having sex during a thunderstorm rocks. you can pretent you're taking part in the conception of the antichrist |
#197234 (60/86) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wito> I like my variables like I like my women
<Polytope> bound?
<thermoplyae> greek?
<Szego> hairy?
<Quadrescence> infinitely differentiable?
<acetoline> free?
<Aldaron> complex? |
#261898 (398/640) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Kamaris> so apparently at 8:04 this morning i sent an email to the department
<@Kamaris> subject line "Srghb"
< MrCodez_> Kamaris, you sat on your phone and sent an email?
<@Kamaris> no, i jabbed angrily at it when i woke up late while using my thumb with one eye open
<@Kamaris> i was trying to say "i will be in late"
< MrCodez_> going for the phonetic spelling of that I see... |
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