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#303044 (153/235) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+dlong> I wonder if I could do a thesis on Super Mario Bros. as an allegory for drugs and rape
[@tank] o_O
[@tank] i think you could
[@tank] drugs yes
[@tank] rape...idk
[@tank] where does the rape come in
<+dlong> tank: Bowser kidnaps Peach in Super Mario Bros.
[@tank] yes
<+dlong> In Super Mario Bros. 3, he suddenly has 7 kids |
#305287 (296/458) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Suzuran: So my boss was talking about that 9 year old girl who got shot with the congresscritter
Suzuran: Talking about how she was young and innocent and looking at a career in politics "Totally innocent, she just wanted to know how American politics worked!"
Suzuran: And I said "Well, now she knows!"
Suzuran: and now he's mad at me.Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
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#306924 (260/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide? |
#307675 (114/170) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kokoretsi>downloaded a 1925 film and spent 5 minutes looking for subs. I then realise it's a silent film :| |
#12175 (326/505) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TC|crapping> I AM HOMOSEXUAL AND SHOULDN'T LEAVE MY STUPID GAME LOGGED IN WHEN I GO TO THE RESTROOM.
<TC|crapping> Love, TC's wife. |
#6208 (228/351) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<skrike:#916> Ill prolly just go into work next week and kill everyone
<pozer:#916> skrike: I do that all the time.
<pozer:#916> We're hiring, by the way! |
#4837 (299/463) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<KeeperS> one of the questions on there is "HOW MANY SIDES DOES A TRIANGLE HAVE?"
<KeeperS> and it has a picture of a triangle
<KeeperS> and then 4 answer choices
<KeeperS> how do you get that wrong? |
#4322 (257/397) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face. |
#7812 (285/441) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Allen> what about Hall?
<CactusJac> he died
<Mikey316> he was arrested
<Allen> make up your mind..
<CactusJac> He was arrested for dying. |
#6211 (222/340) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SaetheR:#916> why are stupid people my managers?
<phear:#916> because they make horrible employees |
#101348 (620/978) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@MetalOverlord> 69 IS DIVINE
<@lemmayoshi> 70 is 69 with one watching
<@MetalOverlord> LAME
<@dlong> 68 is me eating out a snowman
<@CatGirlFetish> what in the fuck |
#266249 (444/696) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jesus> Lee: tricking wow players into installing keyloggers must be an fun activity
<Jesus> I imagine you'd eventually lose your vision looking at page after page of wwwwwwwwwwwwssadwasdadadwdawdadawwwwwwwwwwwwwadssssssdasdawwwwwwwwwwwdaswwa |
#297866 (195/299) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Brat> I dreamt that my cat had become unsatisfied with all the love and affection that I gave her and that she started looking online at cat "personals", which are really just pages and pages of people's hands in the "cat petting" position, with profile information like "looking for a loving cat to stroke" "SWM looking for classy cat", etc. etc.
< Brat> It ended up with me getting on my knees and promising that I'd give her twice as much attention.
< Brat> :( Then I woke up. |
#299993 (283/439) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dingo> I hate snipers <.<
<Starcraftmazter> I don't see any snip- |
#301706 (34/48) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<the_seraphim> ive taped up all my fingers... so my nails heal before they fall off
<the_seraphim> makes it... different, to type
<Capn_Refsmmat> err
<Capn_Refsmmat> what exactly did you do to them?
<the_seraphim> several things...
<the_seraphim> remember our discussion about strong bases and skin
<Capn_Refsmmat> were you the one snubbing gloves?
<the_seraphim> aye captain
<Capn_Refsmmat> oh dear.
<Capn_Refsmmat> and how did that go for you?
<the_seraphim> well... got some on my fingers, went "oww!" shook my hands and smacked them on a wall
<the_seraphim> ive still got... some skin
<Capn_Refsmmat> shaking hands works wonders for getting chemicals off, I understand
<Capn_Refsmmat> far better than things like sinks
<the_seraphim> well i then went to a sink...
<the_seraphim> hence why ive still got /some/ skin left
<Capn_Refsmmat> invest in any gloves yet?
<the_seraphim> yeah.... huge rubber gauntlets |
#306902 (65/95) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape |
#307282 (39/55) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<&Tiggerz> i wish i could go trick-or-treating again
<&Bakamoichigei> Grab some kid off the street and tell them you'll give them a halloween costume and take them trick or treating if they split the candy with you.
<&Bakamoichigei> There's an alternate, more legal, version of this plan...but it takes like 6 years. |
#309529 (40/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<oohy9n> I moved a server from one data center to another, and some guy updated wordpress, after which some of his image hyperlinks got broken
<oohy9n> he emailed me and was like "When you moved, did you by any chance forget the images in the moving van?" |
#309657 (79/117) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(+tt) I have the best idea for a serial crime
(+tt) I am going to break into people's bathroom windows, flip the toilet paper over so it feeds the other way, and leave. |
#309771 (93/139) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Tornado (~Tornado@FUR-45D7AAA0.dyn.optonline.net) has joined #basement
* Tornado (~Tornado@FUR-45D7AAA0.dyn.optonline.net) has left #basement
<Rena> oh my god how did it get so messy in here |
#310382 (76/112) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Madda> Well, people don't seem too bothered by the "Our app will now record audio from your mobile"
<@Madda> So... *shrugs*
<~Altieri> Well, part of the problem is that those privacy warnings aren't always clear.
<@Crazed_Succubus> i feel like if i was that bothered i'd cut myself off from all technology and live in the woods
<@Crazed_Succubus> but i'm determined not to Thoreau my life away |
#34040 (347/541) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Woody```> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me. |
#48107 (343/535) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@dma> root@laureate:/etc/ssh# cowsay -f sodomized `fortune`
<@dma> _________________________________________
<@dma> / When confronted by a difficult problem, \
<@dma> | you can solve it more easily by |
<@dma> | reducing it to the question, "How would |
<@dma> \ the Lone Ranger handle this?" /
<@dma> -----------------------------------------
<@dma> \ _
<@dma> \ (_)
<@dma> \ ^__^ / \
<@dma> \ (oo)\_____/_\ \
<@dma> (__)\ ) /
<@dma> ||----w ((
<@dma> || ||>>
<@dma> well that didn't come out like i wantedComment: #d&d on ZiRC
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#48300 (328/510) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<tumnus> i just set my clock the easiest way ever
<tumnus> i waited until it was midnight then i plugged it in and left it |
#48531 (316/490) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Tym> i have a question to you older folks
<Tym> how do you fucking do it
<Tym> work so god damn much, how do people work 40 hours a week their whole damn lives
<Tym> i'm going insane and i've only been doing it for 3 weeks
<Suzuran> It's like this. Do you like to eat?
<Tym> yes
<Tym> i eat alot
<Suzuran> Then you'll work like the rest of us. It's really hard to eat without money.Comment: Aniverse: #megatokyo
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