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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..83848586878889..599Next> |
#6852 (298/457) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<greg> You know what's wrong with this channel, Nathan buys laptops and scotch, and you people ask him what kind of laptops. |
#1730 (300/460) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mikkel> If you went camping and you got REALLY drunk with your friend and you
woke up the next morning with a condom stuck up your ass would you tell anybody?
<Celestya> i dont think so
<Mikkel> Wanna go camping? |
#10028 (331/512) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** wolex has joined #lockergnome
|wolex| hi
|wolex| Anyone active at this time?
* nobody is
|wolex| thanks
|wolex| but I need some help
* nobody can help you
|wolex| thanks again
* nobody wants to help you
|wolex| have a great day then
|wolex| oh thats better
|wolex| and why is that
|wolex| oh. nobody is a name!!!
|nobody| hahaha |
#6649 (333/517) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(talking about a guy that worked at the world trade center)
<@PowrSlave> this poor fuck is getting divorced cuz of 9/11
<@PowrSlave> lol
<@PowrSlave> his wife filed
<@PowrSlave> he didnt go into work that morning and went to his mistresses' house instead
<@PowrSlave> had his phone off
<nonzeRo> haha
<nonzeRo> lucky guy
<@PowrSlave> he turned it on at around 11:00 and his wife was like "OMFG ARE YOU OKAY WHERE ARE YOUR?"
<@PowrSlave> hes like "im at the office honey. whats the matter?"
<@PowrSlave> lol |
#4306 (331/513) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(^[QuRvE]^) its freezing in my class
(xyst) qurve is freezing his ass?
(bc) qurve is freaking in my ass
(nexxai) QURVE HAS A FAT ASS
(xyst) QURVE STOP TOUCHING MY ASS
(seiki) QURVE LIKES IT IN THE ASS
(^[QuRvE]^) It's nice having friends. |
#83178 (2243/3561) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Rs Conqueror: dude
Xenocidaltendncy: hey whatup
Rs Conqueror: "sum up your sex life using star wars quotes"
Xenocidaltendncy: ...
Rs Conqueror: "you were right about one thing, the negotiations were short"
Xenocidaltendncy: young fool... only now, at the end, do you understand
Rs Conqueror: "how're we doing kid?" "same as always.." "that bad huh?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "if money is all you want, then that's what you'll get"
Rs Conqueror: "Ten thousand?? We could buy our own ship for that!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "these aren't the droids you're looking for"
Rs Conqueror: "I don't care what you smell, just get in there you big lug!"
Xenocidaltendncy: "going in at that speed, do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
Rs Conqueror: "No luke... I am your father"
Xenocidaltendncy: "and now, princess, we will discuss the location of your rebel base" *thwrum thwruuum thwruuuuum*
Rs Conqueror: "judge me by my size do you?"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Yeah, but this time I've got the money"
Rs Conqueror: She may not look like much, but "she's got it where it counts, kid."
Rs Conqueror: "I haven't seen him. It's possible he came in through the south entrance."
Xenocidaltendncy: "I've got a feeling I'm never going to see her again"
Rs Conqueror: "and I thought these things smelled bad... on the outsde"
Xenocidaltendncy: "Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it"
Rs Conqueror: "You're not actually going INTO an asteroid field...!!!"
Rs Conqueror: "Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!" |
#226181 (106/160) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@jer> TheBeast, lemme guess, female?
<@jer> if so, it sounds like you're caught in a pussy trap, get out of it... don't call her again, let her call you
<@jer> if you have some mutal friends, slip to them that you're really busy with something exciting in your life (and make sure it's real, don't lie)
<@jer> she'll call you, when she does, tell her you can't talk for long, then abruptly tell her you have to go
<@jer> and hang up
<@jer> work that way for a little while
<@jer> she'll then be in your little trap =]
<indigoflux> This is why I hate relationships.
<indigoflux> If I want to play mind games, I might as well sign up for a course in assembly programming. |
#276906 (69/97) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
xxx: fuck |
#296821 (150/228) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fredro> but my system language is english
<Freeyorp> I thought it was regional settings?
<Fredro> must be
<Fredro> because I get the game in swedish
<Kage_Jittai> wait... wait... wait...
<Freeyorp> ?
<Kage_Jittai> you DON'T want the game in your native language?
<Fredro> nop
<Jaxad0127> why not?
<Kage_Jittai> Why not?
<Fredro> because I know english better than my native language |
#299714 (237/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tkavil> I have to type up a speech of my life
<Tkavil> about 2 minutes long in french
<DerKapitan> bonjour. bon nombre d'entre vous ne me connaissent pas. Je voudrais partager quelques choses. Je n'ai jamais su quel genre j'ai voulu pour être, ainsi vous pourriez dire que je suis niether. au moins après la chirurgie le mois prochain.
<DerKapitan> there. your speech is written.
<Tkavil> let me translate that
<Tkavil> hello. many of you do not know me. Let me share a few things. I never knew what kind I wanted to be, so you could say I am niether. at least after the surgery next month.
<Tkavil> ...... |
#300408 (156/236) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TJNII> Man, this grandstream phone sure ARPs a lot. It is like a confused old man on my network. "Who am I? Who are you? Who are all these people?" Every 15 minutes. |
#307576 (124/186) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< CoJaBo> E.g., just because you ask for a JPEG, doesn't mean the user won't find a way submit a ZIP containing the complete and unabridged works of Beatoven in MP3 format :P (and yes, that really happened)
< s3a> lol
< Visage> CoJaBo, Beatoven? Good god, man.
< Visage> Beethoven.
< Visage> Unless there's an artist named Beatoven out there that I don't know about. :)
< CoJaBo> No, Beat-Oven. Its the local band I now intend to form just to spite you.
< CoJaBo> :P
< Visage> You spite me every day with your horrible typing. |
#309173 (62/90) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SmallR2002> I was just thinking back to a previous job where a team lead when escalating to me told me to 'just open the DLL in word and use the comparison thingie to see what changed in an update (of the DLL)' |
#309932 (97/143) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gilded> Damn ideology dealers
<Gilded> I once bought a two ounce bag of nihilism
<Gilded> Later I found out it had no value |
#33407 (311/479) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Monique> i reached a whole new level of internet geekdom.
<Monique> i was at quiznos eating my soup and i saw a car outside and its license plate said 911 AFK
<Monique> and i burst out laughing |
#34520 (341/527) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Djinna> i saw a pin this afternoon that says 'just because i'm a gay man doesn't mean i'll turn down a blowjob from a woman'Comment: #bifemunix
|
#40240 (231/353) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pete> did yalll see the presidential debate
<pete> it was funny
<edisk> yeah
<edisk> my friend and i had lists of words we were counting for
<pete> what were they?
<edisk> like "safety" and "freedom" and "Saddam"
<edisk> but the winner was "[awkward pause]" |
#40331 (321/493) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Jyrka] A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station. |
#44255 (301/463) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
somebody124: so... wes and his parents are gonna be gone all weekend....
somebody124: he has an unsecured wirless network.....
somebody124: are you thinking what im thinking?
putdownthestick: we should steal his car!!! |
#47186 (280/430) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
‹@Cougar› i g2g ttyl boys and girls
...
‹@Thar|gone› i hate it if people say bye and dont leave nor change nicks... it feels like someone in person says bye and then just continues standing there, or goes to sit down in front of you to read a book.. its awkard
‹@chapel› I hate it when people change their nick to say they are gone, but are still around chatting
*** Thar|gone changed nick to Thargore
‹@Thargore› ohhh, touché |
#48657 (317/489) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<elrond2> 24 hour fitness is open 24 hours a day
<emitmai> at 3am they have a sign that says 'run around the block'
<emitmai> behind their closed gates |
#49957 (399/617) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shen> aah!
<shen> cat!
<shen> get off me, cat
<shen> I just gave you food, now go away, I am trying to type
<shen> no, don't purr, go and sit on your pillows
<shen> ...
<shen> you know, I should really shout at the cat, instead of just talking on IRC like this |
#51901 (318/490) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Canadian> so then
<Canadian> parts guy was like
<Canadian> cdn you want to see a naked pic of my wife
<Canadian> and I was like sure if you want to see my home made scat porn
<Canadian> and thats how the rcmp came to my house and put me in jail
<hydrok> canadian
<hydrok> i have one question for you
<Canadian> i had beer for breakfast
<hydrok> ok answered |
#53079 (257/393) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping... |
#54037 (241/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Happy_Dot> So my dad and I were reading readers digest, and there was this ad for some apocalypse book. It said "The end is near! Dont delay! This book will tell you everything you need to know! Hurry!" Then, at the bottom of the page, it says : please allow 6 to 8 weeks for delivery. |
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