|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..82838485868788..599Next> |
#76601 (438/676) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< lerxst> on that note
< lerxst> it is official
< lerxst> amanda and i are expecting
< tyger> oh?!
< lerxst> that's what /i/ said
< tyger> holy shit!.....is congrats appropriate in this case?
< lerxst> hell yeah!
< lerxst> my penis works!
< tyger> alright then!
< lerxst> now. down to business.
< lerxst> i need leads on hamster balls that come in progressively escalating sizes. |
#44276 (278/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@TimJohnson> im going to try and cook bacon on my george format grill
<@TimJohnson> yeyah
* Dudette formats the grill
<%Sunbun> the George Format Grill: Knocks out the FAT32Comment: #theromcafe
|
#45404 (261/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<theProject> anyways, is it just me, or is badget badger one infinite loop?
<LoneGamer> badger badger?
<LoneGamer> it's always been an infinite loop
<theProject> MORONS
<LoneGamer> the badger badger soccer/football is an infinite loop with a counter
<theProject> bloody bleeping hell, someone linked me to it and told me "check out the ending, it's really funny"
<theProject> so i sat there for ten minutes
<LoneGamer> it's times like this i wish there were a rofl smilie |
#50945 (301/461) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Erika> WTF
<Erika> I JUST TOOK MY WATCH OFF...
<Erika> TO PUT IT ON MY DESK.
<Erika> EXCEPT I PUT MY SPOON ON MY DESK AND MY WATCH IN MY CUSTARD.
<Erika> FUCKComment: #snoopy on irc.double0.net
|
#50951 (280/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Como> mom brought me apple pie
<Como> in bed
<Como> no wonder dad married her |
#52274 (278/428) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<molo> everything ignus says on join is awkward
<molo> i don't think it has ever been normal
<molo> like
<molo> hi
<molo> or
<molo> sup
<molo> it's always 'my parents just remarried' or 'i dream about sex with my sister' |
#54306 (368/566) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Daszoeb> wtf
<Daszoeb> some girls shouldnt be allowed online
<Daszoeb> seriously
<Daszoeb> she goes and buys a wireless router
<Daszoeb> takes it out of the box
<Daszoeb> it doesnt work
<Daszoeb> so she calls support
<Daszoeb> I ask if the power cord is plugged into the router
<Daszoeb> she responds "no I threw the wires away - I bought a wireless product"
<Daszoeb> then when I told her we need a power cord in the unit
<Daszoeb> she got all pissed and asked why the case said wireless
<Daszoeb> after 5 minutes of mindless debate I "accidently" pressed the mute button and after 10 minutes she hung up |
#59556 (282/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Fire> When I code late at night, I find things in it in the morning like /** TODO -- something */ |
#61850 (272/416) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mr_flea> that and i think i tried to swallow something way too large for my throat when i was attempting to eat a fajita at a rate it was not designed to be eaten >.>
<mr_flea> thank god i don't have to get some sort of operation
* mr_flea painfully drinks more dr. pepper
<Ushanka> Flea, you might not take this really seriously, but I really hope you don't die
<Ushanka> It would suck to have "Cause of death: Fajitas" written on your death certificate |
#62304 (274/422) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tybofborg> damn i have a bad feeling about this
<tybofborg> you know that petike went to USA last sunday
<tybofborg> and i knew that he would have to spend a night at JFK airport
<tybofborg> so i sent him a letter
<tybofborg> containing all the keywords i could think about like bomb, jihad, al quaeda, bin laden and so on
<tybofborg> to freak him out when he reads it
<tybofborg> now it's been three days and he still didn't write back :( |
#66457 (258/394) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HK> You mean all my unsanitary places?
<Thor> where the sun don't shine
<HK> I wonder how a nudist would react to that phrase
<Thor> there are still some places were the sun don't shine
<Thor> even when nude ;]
<HK> What if they practiced yoga?
<Thor> thanks for that mental image |
#70659 (355/545) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rockdots> lol, that was one nice freudian strip
<rockdots> * strip
<rockdots> * slip
<rockdots> ahahaha
<rockdots> oh, the irony |
#85388 (260/398) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Sean: cause you see more deer on the nuke station's property
Sean: they know there is no danger within the fence
Aaron: Can those ones talk?
Sean: well, its been there 30 somethign years
Sean: i'm sure they've figured it out
Aaron: Haha. You'll have to ask one.
Sean: well most places deer run and hide at the sight of a car or person
Sean: here they'll stand on the curb and eat grass while construction workers are working and cars are going by
Sean: with no cover or anything
Aaron: Ah. Someone should give them something to fear...
Sean: they have nothing, they found a wolf on site once, and it was shot
Aaron: They've built weapons?! |
#149340 (162/244) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[helf] wow, the Marines commercials have gotten way better
[xexyz] i should point out that when you sign up for the Marines, your life does NOT get a kick ass metal soundtrack
[helf] awww fuck |
#225719 (427/661) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP |
#243632 (39/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Praz> man, listening to this brings back so few memories
<Praz> mainly just the one, same memory of me sitting in front of a computer but just different applications running on the screen |
#298754 (180/274) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FoH> If you make a glancing reference to those islands southwest of Alaska, is it an Aleutian allusion?
<FoH> If it's only an imaginary reference, is it an Aleutian allusion illusion?
<FoH> If it's difficult to reckon, is it an elusive Aleutian allusion illusion?
<Renee> and if its hard to put your finger on the imaginary glancing reference of riding a Spanish horse on those islands it is a ellusive Aleutian Andalusian allusion illusion
<FoH> And that's the elusive Andalusian Aleutian allusion illusion alliteration for the day. |
#300960 (454/704) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Also, I came up with the best Metal band name ever
Are you ready?
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
That’s it! Parenthesis, seeking female keyboardist, exclamation point, end-parenthesis. That way, every flyer for your show, you’d make whatever band was above you on the flyer seem like total posers.: Imagine the following on a telephone pole near you:
**************************
12/06 at The Pound, all ages:
BIOHAZARD
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
DISCONFORMITY
************************
or:
***********************
12/19 at CBGBs:
SLAYER
(SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST!)
NILE
DEATHCOOCH DEBACLE
SOCIOPATHIC REMRANT
*********************** |
#307740 (45/63) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<n0idx80> I have a very nice laptop with 4GB (takes 8) that the cpu fan makes a horrible noise, and I just can't bear to open it up
<Chainsaw> You feel that dust bunnies are animals too and deserve to live? |
#24600 (282/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kak> Alereon you're a dumb fucking cunt thanks for your help i'm going to go commit suicide
<@Alereon> I love it when problems solve themselves! |
#24875 (279/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cody> what color is mango?
<Derian> #FF7646
<Cody> lol... dork |
#27791 (259/395) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dragonaut> ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun dildoman is cumming!
<Krizzz989> remember earlier when you were asking how many beers is to much? |
#30405 (293/449) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally. |
#32260 (341/525) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+commodore_dude> anyone wanna make me a magic 8-ball in java?
<+x24> ask again laterComment: #gideontech
|
#32782 (302/464) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Jon> Your eyes are like two limpid pools of loveliness, your hair is like a golden waterfall.
<@Jon> Plus those short skirts you wear make me really horny.Comment: #rohitab irc.wikkedwire.com
|
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..82838485868788..599Next> |
|