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#7224 (301/457) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's, All welcome. Place for 500"
<Minko> grrrr
<Minko> You can all come, but I'm not gonna be there
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's <Minko> You can all come"
<Minko> Stop it guys, I'm busy this weekend
<Minko> I've got big things planned
*** mrBlond changes topic to "Open party at Minko's <Minko> You can all come <Minko> I've got big things planned"
<Minko> Aaargh |
#8706 (222/336) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tom_> i heard that if you walk into a fridge and close the door you cant get out again
<tom_> im sure if i got stuck in a fridge i could get out
<tom_> im gonna fuckin try it |
#8576 (259/394) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again... |
#4795 (272/414) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Roach> Well, the boss' wife needs me to fix her computer.
<The_Roach> You know what that means.
<Anton> you're gonna be fixing a computer for a bit?
<Waldo> pr0n music stuck in your head?
<The_Roach> Yes and yes. |
#205138 (150/224) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ApollyonProject: I bought Commando today for five bucks.
ApollyonProject: Best use of five bucks ever?
ApollyonProject: Unquestionably.
Xmysterio187X: I bought three lines of coke for 5 bucks once.
Xmysterio187X: So it's debatable.
ApollyonProject: Did those lines give you as much enjoyment as being able to enjoy Commando any second of any day for the rest of your life would?
Xmysterio187X: ....
Xmysterio187X: Fuck.
Xmysterio187X: No... |
#242611 (446/686) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@danhm> I like lasagna but hate making it
<@danhm> it's like the antithesis of a baby |
#294656 (402/618) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<drac> I was in a public restroom today and the box that contains the toilet paper rolls has a side that can't be seen until you're sitting down
<drac> so I wrote "I pissed all over the toilet seat" on there |
#296574 (442/680) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jd998> nuh girls can 2
<jd998> but its not like our cum its like water but clear
<sweetangel13> rly?
<sweetangel13> i've never done it
<jd998> ok
<jd998> well how do u no when to stop
<sweetangel13> i dunno. it feels good for a while and i just decide to stop...
<sweetangel13> im afraid of my parents walking in
<jd998> y how do u do it
<jd998> liekon ur bed or with ur nikers on
<sweetangel13> at night i get on my bed and put my covers over me
<jd998> n wat
<jd998> pull ur nikers down
<sweetangel13> then i take my panties off and rub some vaseline on my fingers
<jd998> ok y vaseline
<sweetangel13> it makes it easier
<sweetangel13> then i stick my fingers in there...
<jd998> nice nice
<sweetangel13> and start moving it around.
<jd998> u got msn
<sweetangel13> no sorry
<jd998> fuk yer
<jd998> how many fingers have u had in ur pussy before
<sweetangel13> and eventually i get 2 fingers in there
<sweetangel13> then i put some vaseline on my other hand
<sweetangel13> and start rubbing my penis.
<jd998> wat |
#302032 (105/153) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISHComment: My first day on IRC
|
#308074 (40/48) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> grrr network hiccup
<ENKI-][> you should hold your breath while drinking jolt and whistling the 2600Hz tone in order to get rid of network hiccups |
#311554 (36/44) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<APTX_> so
<APTX_> I unpacked my switch and I turn it on for the first time. I felt it rumble a bit. After a second I realized that it was an earthquake and not the console...
<DerIdiot|work> ba da bish
<APTX_> the timing was really good |
#38066 (212/320) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Quits: crag-- (crag@202.154.72.136) (Dead girls dont say no)
* Quits: KiM (KiM@134.115.157.196) (going for a walk :p)
<@ShowDowN> that is sick
<@ShowDowN> we should ban him next time he comes in
<@nekro> yeah, who the hell goes for walks |
#49344 (291/443) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DannyCat> Bah, I've been awake too long. I go to wash my hair, start the water, let it run for a bit, check it to make sure it's warm enough, turn the water off, stand there looking at the faucet, and it takes me a couple seconds to realize I missed a couple steps. |
#56192 (233/353) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<thefwf> lent soon
<thefwf> this is where my amazing plan comes in
<FSR|Meatwad> yeah
<FSR|Meatwad> which is
<thefwf> my new years resolution was to give up something for lent
<thefwf> and for lent
<thefwf> i'm giving up my new years resolution
<thefwf> WIN! |
#56208 (237/359) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Teloch: i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
Teloch: and
Teloch: i got some calls
Teloch: from potential customers
Teloch: and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
Teloch: and he was almost in TEARS
Teloch: "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me" |
#61687 (268/408) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> Man, I just had quite a College Student moment
<CtrlAltDestroy> I was eating a slice of pizza, and a big glob of sauce fell onto my shirt
<CtrlAltDestroy> I looked around for some paper towels or napkins or whatever to wipe it off with
<CtrlAltDestroy> Couldn't find any
<CtrlAltDestroy> So I wiped it off with my shirt |
#68635 (225/343) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mojosmackwit> sorry
<mojosmackwit> i have a personality disorder
<clifgriffin> I didn't know "asshole" was considered a personality disorder. |
#15574 (262/397) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Join] n0t_4cc3pt4bl3 (hurry-now@ip121.cleveland4.oh.pub-ip.psi.net)
<WD_40> your nick is not acceptable.
<n0t_4cc3pt4bl3> indeed |
#15982 (248/376) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Shinji] I think he threatened to kill me actually, although it was so badly spelt that I wasn't sure if it was a death threat or a request to see if I wanted another cappuchino |
#20115 (341/521) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Iago is still unsure that he's ready for a LTR
<JtHM> Lesbian Toddler Rave?
<JtHM> no one's ready for that.
<Iago> Long term relationship
<JtHM> I'm mildly disturbed that Lesbian Toddler Rave was the first thing that sprang to mind when I saw LTR |
#26310 (259/393) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM. |
#19467 (292/446) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Lotach: earlier today at work, I took some confectionary sugar and laid it out in a thin line, then left a straw next to it and walked away |
#26287 (291/445) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stormo> im watching the best movie atm..
<Aurian> why is it so good??
<stormo> any film where a clown fingerfucks a nun has got to be good
<Aurian> okay, i now consider myself lucky for not watching it
<Aurian> isn't it meant to be about ninjas???
<stormo> now they're having actual sex
<stormo> yeah
<stormo> the nun is a ninja in disguise
<Aurian> ahh
<Aurian> and who's the clown?
<stormo> another ninja
<stormo> look, i'm not watching this film for it's complex and involved plot |
#29008 (270/412) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^bret^> good lord you're dumb. I wish Charles Darwin was alive, so I could present him with you, and laugh in his face. |
#29314 (291/445) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<T|Vegi> is iga here?
<T|Vegi> where are you igaaaaa
<Aurielle> Call him a leprechaun.
<Aurielle> He'll show up.
<Aurielle> LEPRECHAUN
<iga-shadow> hi
<iga-shadow> oh poo
<GodOfWonders> IT WORKED! |
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