|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..79808182838485..599Next> |
#5273 (7705/12135) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is. |
#3630 (262/395) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song |
#35205 (416/638) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LabRat> google is smart so I don't have to be. |
#44362 (366/558) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Raticide> make install
<Raticide> oi you people
<Raticide> get out of my terminal |
#49649 (307/465) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Shifter-[AFK]> when I was like 9, and before I knew what "sleeping with someone is," I slept in the same bed as my sister when i was visiting my relatives.
<Shifter-[AFK]> long story short, I thought I had slept with someone and was no longer a virgin.
<Shifter-[AFK]> ...Until word got to my parents, and I got "the talk" at a younger age than I had expected. :( |
#51987 (383/583) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
DrakeChun: Thank God for apt-get
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: It truly is a gift from God.
thetguy01: "And on the Tenth Day, God said: LET THERE BE APT-GET! And so it was."
DrakeChun: The Tenth Day, 3 after he rested
thetguy01: Yes
thetguy01: The other two days were him trying to get linux to run. |
#52272 (345/523) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-koroaway : So ...
-koroaway : a tanker truck full of beer crashed into a bus full of kids on their way to play hockey. In a snowstorm
-koroaway : does it get any more Canadian than that? |
#56747 (275/415) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< din> so after i get back from the boxing matches saturday
< din> stayed at my gf's place
< din> apparently i was sleepwalking
< din> last i remember is that my gf woke me up at 4am
< din> and says "You just pissed in my floor."
< din> i'm all WTF
< din> NO FSCKIN WAY
< din> i pissed just to the right of her desk, in my sleep
< din> and flushed the printer
< din> and came back to bedComment: sleepflushing
|
#38517 (272/412) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
jason: blood sister?
BarbeDarkView: half
BarbeDarkView: we have different dads
BarbeDarkView: we all do
jason: how many of yous there?
BarbeDarkView: my two older sisters share a dad
BarbeDarkView: I have my own dad
BarbeDarkView: my lil bro has his own dad
BarbeDarkView: and my lil sis has her own dad
jason: what's wrong with your momComment: MSN chat
|
#43027 (218/328) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Aimee[Dead]> I don't think it's a good thing that my shoulder hurts for no reason
<Mayseth> Right or left?
<Aimee[Dead]> ummm right i think
<Mayseth> You think?
<Aimee[Dead]> i don't know left and right :(
<Mayseth> The nicklist is on the right!
<Mayseth> Start button on the left
<Aimee[Dead]> ok it's my right one then |
#44145 (329/501) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Maurs> Got my first detention ever today :(
<Maurs> You know I go to a catholic school...
<Maurs> well we were discussing that new pope
<Maurs> Long story short, catholics don't like you goosestepping through the halls yelling "ICH BIN DER POPEN" |
#49634 (357/545) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Art_Vandelay> my sexuality should not be in question
<Art_Vandelay> I think you know which way I swing
<Art_Vandelay> -->
<KP> yeah, it's fairly obvious
<KP> i see you're pointing toward the userlist
<KP> composed entirely of males |
#52252 (296/450) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gordonjcp> Tesco petrol pumps have a button to press if you want to pay at the pump
<gordonjcp> it's got a braille label
<gordonjcp> don't know what it says though
<gordonjcp> "Get the fuck off the road!" possibly |
#68617 (240/368) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@SNB> ... I just tried to scratch myself with the cursor.
<@SNB> I need help.Comment: #bah on darkmyst
|
#296807 (46/64) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly |
#297300 (96/140) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fax> TAKE OFF YOUR TOP STOP
<Fax> OH YEAH THAT IS SO HOT STOP
<Fax> You can see why telegraph sex never caught on
<NEO|Phyte> what do they do if they need to include the word stop in their message?
<Arang> DON'T STOP PLEASE STOP
<XiaoTie> STOP STOP
<Star-Sacred> HARDER STOP |
#301594 (349/533) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SEAL> You know how Toyota is having a ton of problems
<SEAL> With the accelerator pedals getting stuck at full throttle
<SEAL> Well, they really need to change their slogan
<SEAL> To something besides "Moving Forward"
<SEAL> The irony is astonishing |
#303211 (192/288) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Programix> drugs are like cheat codes in real life
<Programix> they are awesome but it ruins the rest of the game |
#305792 (45/63) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bubulein> DONT DRINK AND ROOT |
#307314 (55/85) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<amarainein> sudo -u bitch make sammich 2>/dev/null
<amarainein> that's how it's done
<robin> amarainein: Why do you want to become the bitch to make a sammich?
<amarainein> i was ordering her- oh, never mind
<amarainein> it's never funny if you have to explain it
<robin> sudo -u bitch is more like possessing her to make a demonic sammich as the walls drip with blood.
<robin> Lights flicker, and bitch suddenly finds herself making a sammich against her very will!
<robin> Yet charged to her filesystem and CPU quota!
<amarainein> exactly. and in /dev/null, noone can hear your screams |
#311003 (44/62) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<asterick> hah
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want? |
#31685 (353/539) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ICWolf> I just ate a *ton* of Chinese ^_^
<Yasuo> lol, someone has to control their population ;x |
#30511 (512/786) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Eticam] I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
[Eticam] And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
[Eticam] When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
[Eticam] Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
[Eticam] The girl started crying and left class |
#20155 (316/481) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@kitten> oh
<@kitten> mmy
<@kitten> god
<@harb> ?
<@kitten> quarter-sized
<@kitten> spider
<@kitten> it's dead
<@harb> Good for you.
<@harb> You're one step closer to not being a fucking pussy.
<@kitten> I hosed it down with the Pine Sol, and shot it with the BB gun.
<@harb> Nevermind. |
#17868 (309/470) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RadAghazt> I bought rice vinegar to make sushi. Now to figure out how.
<RadAghazt> Ok.
<RadAghazt> There are instructions on the bottle, but...
<RadAghazt> they're in Japanese.
<RadAghazt> At least I think they're instructions.
<RadAghazt> This might say "death to all gaijin with this poisoned export rice vinegar" for all I know. |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..79808182838485..599Next> |
|