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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..77787980818283..599Next> |
#9497 (7617/11959) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet
(@eliaz`medal): 5 on each ::
(@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes? |
#7323 (257/387) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kisa> Don’t laugh, but every once in a while I try to check if I by any chance have superpowers. For some reason I always try telekinesis.
<Kisa> I look at something for a while, and try to move it with my mind.
<Kisa> and when I fail, I feel really stupid.
<Kisa> I was just wondering if anyone else does something like that?
<Kojedub> Yeah.
<Kojedub> I feel really stupid too.
* Kisa feels glad that he is not alone
<Kojedub> Not in relation to telekinesis.
<Kojedub> Just, you know.
<Kojedub> Stupid. |
#5193 (305/459) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mofo> s2pid virgin cola commercials.
<reuben> i bet it's harder to type "s2pid" than it is to type "stupid"
<mofo> s2pid looks cooler and sophisticated though, so :P
<reuben> it looks stupid |
#4718 (287/433) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tormy> hey when u burn games in discjuggler, under the advance tab... should the block be 2048?
<DCBastard> leave the advanced tab alone
<DCBastard> if you were advanced you'd know how to use it |
#2172 (276/416) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is SIZZLINGCROTCH" |
#113987 (399/607) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kodan> I hate lawyers.
<Dwing> I'm a lawyer.
<Dwing> I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR STATEMENT!
<Dwing> <Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-counter-counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Spray paints self black>
<Kodan> <Pulls out the race card>
<Kodan> OH LAWD! THE WHITE MAN BE A PUTTIN' ME DOWN!
<Kodan> <Calls Al Sharpton>
<Dwing> ...
<Dwing> I bow to your superior tactic D: |
#126796 (322/488) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<simonova> so, supposing I wanted to show you guys the program I wrote, what's the best way to go about that?
<ubajas> Kill the president and clutch a printout of the program in your hands, as you're brought down by security guards.Comment: #perl
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#176177 (433/659) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< pixie> Heh, looking at what things contain iron, its quite weird that I lack iron
< pixie> I eat plenty of things that contain it
< ari> So you eat plenty of iron but are anaemic? Why, that's ironic.Comment: ##pink
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#176915 (370/562) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* scooter mails the fist of death to one of the sales guys
<~scooter> he calls up and asks "how is the project for $client going?"
<~scooter> uhh, i have no idea what you are talking about. in fact, i don't see that we ever got a request for $client to build anything. the status is that you never entered a request.
<~scooter> "*clickety* *clickety* you should have one now."
<~scooter> i look and see "build a project for $client per the phone conversation we're having now"
<~scooter> "what's the status on it?"
<~scooter> i bit the end of the phone and cracked itComment: #geeks
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#216681 (505/771) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it. |
#295466 (403/613) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dragongame> Welcome back, Peasant McDohl, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 6, Dex: 4, Con: 6, Int: 6, Wis: 4, Cha: 3.
<dragongame> Fight a Giant!
<McDohl> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 1. A dragon eats you. |
#297618 (74/106) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Elleo> we should invent a dance called the Mersenne Twist
<@Elleo> where you just move about randomly
<@Elleo> but with an even distribution |
#299953 (50/70) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
bubbal: Why would you want to stay married to someone who doesn't want to be married to you?
overbored454: because you just can't turn love off like a car engine?
FlyingUndeadSheep: but you can handbrake-turn it sideways into a wall. |
#301020 (589/903) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np! |
#301230 (391/593) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<coil> i dont like what bleeds
<ShadowHntr> did i just wreck your haiku?
<[1NF0]> you got the center |
#303832 (62/88) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kage> man remember when musicians got by on their own vocal talent rather than a digital voice filter
<ixisid> no i was born in the 80s |
#305349 (224/336) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tsietisin> D: is the unhappiest hard drive I have. |
#309357 (51/71) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sorts> Mind. Blown.
<pooryoric> ...What a charmingly tiny explosion. :P |
#311140 (29/39) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>> |
#51285 (501/767) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Retro> THE MIRACLE OF CELL DIVISION
<Retro> o
<Retro> 0
<Retro> 8
<Retro> oo |
#52876 (197/297) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MandaBella> Ben...I see your point
<Tigerlily> Ben, put your point away. Manda can see it. |
#54417 (366/558) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Grimthorn> yay for tacks having a girlfriend!
<Tacks> thats in the paaaaaaaaast.
<Rhett> she's not jokin thar, grim
<Grimthorn> neither was i
<Tacks> i tried taco, and i prefer the sausage. ...if you know what i mean. eh? eh? wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more?
<Grimthorn> haha
<Malekh> I prefer sausages over tacos as well
<Tacks> ...
<Malekh> Oh wait.. we're not talking food
<Tacks> >_< |
#55166 (238/358) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job |
#55247 (286/432) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Jarn> My entire belief system is under attack.
<wotnarg> ?
<@Jarn> I just found a microsoft product that is not only easy, but GOOD. :/
<@Jarn> I can't believe it.
<@Jarn> Has everything I've stood for... been a lie?
<@Jarn> Curse you, Windows Movie Maker 2.1! You are shaking the foundations of my life!
<@Jarn> Help me!
<@Jarn> What do I do? What do I believe? I'm so confused!
<wotnarg> Don't worry...
<wotnarg> It was probably made by a small company that was bought out.
<wotnarg> Like Halo.
<@Jarn> Thank you, I believe I understand now.
<@Jarn> My faith was shaken, but came out stronger in the end.Comment: #wotlinux
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#60114 (268/404) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
lowbacca1977: clearly, dating is a very odd thing
TwoTone Strauss: yeah. here's hoping i never have to be a part of it
lowbacca1977: never be a part of dating? going the mail-order bride route?
lowbacca1977: cuz i've got a 2 for 1 coupon if you're interested
TwoTone Strauss: no, i just hope to ....
TwoTone Strauss: uh
TwoTone Strauss: yeah, im not gonna talk to you anymore tonight |
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