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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..74757677787980..599Next> |
#302945 (164/242) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<trifarce> so any more brilliant ways of forever changing a relationship, eric?
<dd7> try saying "honk, honk" each time you grope her
<trifarce> hahahaha
<trifarce> did you do that?
<dd7> yes
<dd7> she calls me skeeter now |
#309615 (33/45) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< froggey> ALARM!!! SENSIBLE DESIGN CHOICE SPOTTED IN PERL!! DANGER DANGER DANGER! |
#311214 (35/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<&kapitank> oh wow a mistype such a rare thing that deserves being pointed out every time it hapens =^)
<~LexPro> hapens
<&T2norway> hapens |
#33624 (259/387) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<eslice> i just got a vm from some random hick asking for doug
<eslice> wanted to know if i could do research on signature control for ground and air vehicles
<eslice> wtf?
<eslice> should i call back and act like i know wtf i'm talking about
<jestuh> lol only if you record it
<eslice> yeah i was just thinking about that
<hy\dro> yes
<hy\dro> that's what i did last week when some woman called me thinking i was her court-appointed lawyer in some contempt case against her ex-husband
<eslice> hahaha
<eslice> did you show up in court
<hy\dro> haha no i didn't show up, she eventually figured out what was going on
<hy\dro> i told her that i could just have her ex killed for her and nobody would have to know
<hy\dro> and she kind of stuttered
<hy\dro> then hung upComment: #GeekIssues
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#34306 (331/497) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jerec> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones! |
#34625 (341/513) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(@Brant) I'm such a fucking moron sometimes
(@Brant) I was just listening to one of my band's songs
(@Brant) and I was like "Wow I like this song I should try to learn the guitar part" and picked up my guitar
(@Brant) then realized
(@Brant) :|Comment: he must be tired
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#38690 (257/383) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Cynic> wtf...
<Cynic> My mouse just turned off
<Cynic> WHAT THE HELL
<Cynic> HAHAHA
<Cynic> Tooltip: One of the USB devices connected to your system has malfunctioned. CLICK THIS DIALOG BOX for information on how to solve this problem.
<Cynic> <3 Windows XP |
#43708 (229/341) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CeZ> bewpy: hows your microphone doing?
<bewpy> it doesnt work for some reason..
<bewpy> why u ask?
<CeZ> bewpy, you were drunk and we convinced you that your microphone was going to kill you.. so you beat on it |
#50264 (320/484) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tidus_DarkLord> how the hell can stephen hawking become a professor.. he can't do anything
<Tidus_DarkLord> how did he become that way
<senso> ALS
<Tidus_DarkLord> 15/m/scotland |
#51176 (272/406) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
McKhaos: this guy asks me
McKhaos: how many people work in your company ?
McKhaos: my answer
McKhaos: about a third |
#51373 (283/423) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
NES: you should do what I did and try to convince your boss to migrate their whole massive application from vb6 to .net
NES: tell them it'll be very easy
NES: and then leave the company |
#55033 (264/394) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sanguini> My friend was over, he asked me to get "a good pron movie"
<Sanguini> I got him a prawn, swimming contentedly along
<Sanguini> He didn't like it :( |
#69572 (375/567) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Apollo> FUCK!
<Apollo> god damnit, I just copied an entire directory by accident. christ, I hate linux >:(
<Apollo> *sigh* brb, reformatting AGAIN
<Trinexx> wait, why are you reformatting? O_o
<Apollo> oh, i havent figured out how to delete files in linux yet, so I just reformat the harddrive when I need to delete something
<Trinexx> you serious? XD
<Apollo> bbiab.
<Trinexx> just use "rm <filename>" you fucking idiot
** Signoff: Apollo (Quit: Reformatting, AGAIN)
<Trinexx> ... or not :/ |
#74565 (371/557) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<duncanspock> hey NegaLos, i saw your pic, you look like a pedo
<NegaLos> i saw yours, you look like my potential victim |
#13151 (263/393) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[ @niffie ] I have no inhabitions right now
[ @aphr0 ] would you finger my asshole?
[ @niffie ] no
[ @aphr0 ] then you have inhibitions |
#30476 (434/656) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+Thief> never pack when ur high..you get there u open your bag and nothing matches...all u have to wear is a hawaiian shirt, an oven mit + a lava lamp...the rest is filled with cookie dough + hot wheels trucksComment: Random quote, GamesNet channel.
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#13553 (332/499) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Phen-Away> I just figured out what scroll lock does
<AutistiCat> What does it do?
<Phen-Away> You see that light by caps lock? Well, it turns on when you press scroll lock |
#27523 (347/521) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<QuizMan> when I first got the internet my dad showed me porn
<waffy> he did?
<QuizMan> yes
<QuizMan> and he said do you like it
<QuizMan> and i said yes
<waffy> haha jesus.
<QuizMan> and he said TOO FUCKING BAD DONT GO THERE
<waffy> rofl
<waffy> your dad is awesome. |
#26269 (271/405) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GerbilNut> i was so happy last friday... i finally saw a girl with my old roomate... it finally convinced me he wasn't gay
<GerbilNut> she wasn't very attractive... but at least i knew he was straight
<GerbilNut> it would have made those nights we cuddled on the couch alittle awkward |
#22932 (303/454) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sampson> rad, that link crashed my browser in the middle of booking a flight
<sampson> EXCELLENT
<sampson> THANKS!
<aves2k> sorry if your browser doesn't support new Internet technologies
<aves2k> like JPG |
#19414 (306/458) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[gossip] <Vellius> ... I wonder if the really nerdy Klingons learn how to speak english |
#31021 (277/415) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Drunken_master> A brief question, please
<nomad> yes?
<nomad> I hope that was brief enough |
#13707 (236/352) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-MemoServ- DALnet would like to recommend that you exercise some standard password security precautions and regularly change your password(s). Please remember that it is your responsibility to remember your password(s).
<Huz> Hey, is that news post DALnet code for "We got hax0red and someone saw everyone's passwords"? :) |
#24549 (320/484) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Otto> I froze up during a school play once
<Otto> Then I remembered what my teacher said
<Otto> "Imagine them naked!"
<Otto> So I did and I got a big hard on and ran off stage |
#23234 (242/362) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<arc> sigh
<arc> im locked outa my house
<arc> and i have to take a hue shit
<BurntAsh> ... yet he can still access the internet.. WTG Neo! |
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