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#83243 (269/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Grey> Programming languages are like Pokemon moves; you can only really know like four of them at once without having to forget about another one
#103345 (130/188) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xyzzy: do you want a violin that we can't play for shit?
xyzzy: i'll sell it $40
Bahamut: i have one
xyzzy: do you want some firewood?
xyzzy: $35
#150313 (415/619) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fugi> when mccain wins the election and invades iran, do we get to yell "Monopoly!" and put hotels across iraq, iran and afghanistan?
#184809 (370/550) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* ~Rofflesama grabs Amyl and puts him on the 20 yard line.
* ~Danke goes for the kick.
[Amyl] was kicked by [Danke] [IT'S GOOD!!]
#227599 (400/596) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RizBow> you son of a bitch
<RizBow> you have me on ignore
<OCRE> No
<OCRE> I'm just ignoring you
<OCRE> you son of a bitch
Comment: #ocremix
#303154 (292/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pgp> i want food but it is raining and i have no escape from the rain
<pgp> oh wait i have apples
<iank> use them to construct an umbrella
<iank> so you can buy food
Comment: irc.slashnet.org/#mefi
#304157 (66/90) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dogel> my mother said to me last night after i asked her to sign something
<dogel> "you know how to forge my signature, do it yourself"
#305552 (57/79) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#308049 (80/112) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> you can talk a population into going to war or domestic surveillance
<@Rjx> but free healthcare and legalizing harmless plants
<@Rjx> not quite as easy
#309557 (45/61) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TauNeutrino> hey guys
<TauNeutrino> I have one freaking question
<TauNeutrino> When might I call myself an intermediate linux user? Let's discuss !
<Sodel_the_V> TauNeutrino: An intermediate Linux user is someone who has stopped wondering how sound on Linux can POSSIBLY be this bad.
#309616 (44/60) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Iambian> Remember kids, when someone offers you drugs, say "thank you" because drugs are expensive.
<xmc> correct
<xmc> and in today's challenging regulatory climate, drugs are a logistical hassle as well
#310532 (59/81) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< wushin> I don't make typos, I make git learning experiences.
#310561 (36/48) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> I've got NP problems. But P ain't one.
#145733 (246/364) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<chutwig> there's something about college that dramatically increases detachment from reality
<Luigi30> chutwig: pot?
#152432 (402/600) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Guillotine> If anybody wants to participate in the greatest April fools of all time, I need a .wav of the rickroll song and .tga version of every .5 second interval in the video
<+Guillotine> (I think you can see where I'm going with this)
<@Iriel> Hell?
<+Guillotine> Probably
#211206 (523/787) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hxdor> k so
<Hxdor> i go and wake up and decide to wack one off..
<Hxdor> so my dad comes RUNNING INTO MY ROOM
<Hxdor> "OMG SOMEONES HACKING MY EMAIL"
<Hxdor> and
<Hxdor> "ARE YOU DOING IT?!"
<Hxdor> im like ".......oh. fuck."
<Hxdor> and i said "... dad, could you please go upstairs and wait anohter 2 mins please?"
<Hxdor> "are you hacking my email"
<Hxdor> and finally I said
<Hxdor> "dad, I'm jerking off here. how do you fucking expect me to hack your email while I watch porno and have my dick in one hand"
<Hxdor> he leaves
#300290 (231/341) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Vespucci> My five year old just told me that his mom is doing a bad job raising him because he didn't eat his dinner, said a bunch of bad words, and still got ice cream with the other kids.  To quote "What the freak is wrong with mom?"
#302875 (65/91) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ddkt78> whats the word for the state of ignoring something, like facts and stuff?
<noodles_rock> Ignorance?
<ddkt78> no can't be it...
#308272 (103/147) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jerith> I have a friend called ed.
<jerith> We once got him a shirt for his birthday. It said "the standard text editor".
#33825 (327/487) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tonitrus> My biological clock says 12:00 and blinks.
#37058 (268/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chee|s|e> I can't wait: soon, marijuana will be legal in Canada :)
<Eddf> So you can have a pot garden in your back yard?
<Chee|s|e> No dude, so I can extend the one in the back to the front.
#48144 (398/594) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dogan> today in school the funniest thing ever happened at an assembly
<Dogan> i was up in the stands as part of the band, watching the cheerleaders do some show
<Dogan> and one of the girls loses her balance and falls off the top of the pyramid
<Dogan> So without thinking, i stand up and do a "Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" on my trombone
<Dogan> never saw that cheerleader again
#50968 (319/475) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ralphis> I'm discussing
<fragglet> its spelled disgusting
#52648 (210/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aq> Mr car is a 1993 Rover Metro 1.1s.  I’ve asked a few friends what they think it’s top speed is. Most say it’s somewhere between 70-80mph, perhaps 85mph tops if you push it hard enough. I was on the motorway tonight and it turns out that my car can do 110mph. Unfortunately, there may be photographic proof.
#53724 (374/558) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< wietz0r> I was standing there with a packet of writeable dvd's and this women walks up fucking points her finger at me and says "Don't do illegal things with those dvds"
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