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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..62636465666768..599Next> |
#295080 (318/458) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<urs> When I flew with finnair once, I noticed halfway into the flight that the emergency exit in the next row was installed upside-down
<thec> urs, that one is for when the plane crashes upside down |
#299780 (398/576) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< fawkesmulder> the only thing impenetrable to hackers are vaginas |
#300807 (332/478) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mr_daemon> I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
<mr_daemon> Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
<mr_daemon> Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsing |
#301526 (323/465) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ProtoTom> just saw avatar
<ProtoTom> so James Cameron basicaly spent 500 mil to depict a love story between a 15 foot blue woman and a cripple
<jefHardy> it's a progress...last time he spent 200 mil to depict a love story between an iceberg and a big boat |
#305691 (269/387) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Raptor> Huh. Discovering that the last time the file system was mounted is in the future scares linux.
<Celti> Yes. Linux needs special drivers for time travel.
<Raptor> I assume I can easily apt-get them?
<MrTrick> : time-travel installed successfully
<MrTrick> #> sudo apt-get install time-travel |
#311210 (34/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
windsor: I am beginning to think the only way for anyone from my generation to accomplish some goal (weight loss, driver's license, change of opinion, etc). is for them to feverishly document the entire process on social networking sites. |
#311357 (51/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<netham45> Bash.org is offline
<netham45> But it responds to SSH.
<netham45> I tried to log into their SSH as 'ERROR CRITICAL BASH.ORG IS DOWN' in hopes their log management system picks up on the keywords. |
#50201 (314/452) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Symbiotic> So I just found out that my school has a Student Anarchy Club.
<Symbiotic> All they do is sit around, eat pizza, and occasionally challenge the Student Government to a fistfight. |
#50967 (426/618) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language |
#51040 (379/547) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<chiby> base? is that another word for acid?
<spriggan> wtf, when's your chemistry exam?
<chiby> tomorrow
<spriggan> hahahahaha, oh man, you're screwed |
#55564 (333/479) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Swishy> the star trek article on wikipedia
<Swishy> is larger than the intercourse article
<Swishy> SURPRISE! |
#56912 (364/526) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<HajuuNOT-NZ> im going on a date tommorow :/
<HajuuNOT-NZ> not sure why
<cai> Parents haven't had that talk with you yet, I see |
#70993 (496/720) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@TheWickerMan> God damn, this one halloween last year. Some kid came up to our house.
<@TheWickerMan> Now this is the kind of kid who's constantly cursing, throwing fits about nothing, hitting his parents/siblings, complaning about everything, and just acts like an all-around douchebag.
<@TheWickerMan> I gave the kid like 3 fun sized M&Ms and he just yells to me, "NO FAG I WANTED THE TWIX INSTEAD YOU DUMBASS."
<@TheWickerMan> I replied back with "I'm sure your mother didn't want you either, but we can't all have our ways now can we?." |
#34158 (378/548) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Clutch> Anyone else notice that 'strap on' spelt backwards is 'no parts'?Comment: #gaming - gaming.windfyre.net - Feel thy spiff fool
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#35671 (479/697) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
WhupAs101: Hi ev
WhupAs101: ery
WhupAs101: one
WhupAs101: Wow
WhupAs101: Beer makes typing an adventure |
#47228 (379/549) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pastoralist> ...Guess what
<Mr_Tabernacle_Choir> What.
<King_JT_the_First> what?
<Ruby> what?
<pastoralist> Guess
<King_JT_the_First> you're getting married?
<Ruby> you got a dog!
<ozy> you renamed France!
<King_JT_the_First> you're going to be a father?
<Mr_Tabernacle_Choir> You discovered how to make your nipples lactate chocolate milk?
<Ruby> you won the lottery!
<King_JT_the_First> you're signing up for voluntary sterilization?
<ozy> you're being taken to court for child custody rights by an 11-year-old?
<King_JT_the_First> you're actually naked right now?
<PM_Emirthatank> you got laid?
<pastoralist> Ok, enoughComment: #almea irc.foreverchat.net
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#49192 (386/558) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MichiganFan> how old is the kitten?
<Lance> don't know how old
<Lance> real young
<Lance> still shakey on it's feet
<MichiganFan> where did you get it?
<Lance> under the house
<MichiganFan> what was it doing there?
<MarkTheMeS> Foundation work |
#51077 (346/500) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@yt): i need something that symbolises my alter-ego. Bowler hat, briefcase, umberella, monacle
(@yt): etc
(rocksicle): your alter-ego is the penguin? |
#56817 (272/394) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Cobra8279: 1) sleep deprivation alone can not kill you
Cobra8279: and if anything that can not kill you makes you stronger
Cobra8279: soon, i should have superpowers |
#58677 (366/530) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted |
#59266 (403/585) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Michiko> yes, well, my landlord got a puppy.
<Michiko> It won't die
<Michiko> I'm not sure if it's a real puppy or a stereo with a puppy cd in it
<Michiko> Because any normal animal would have passed out by now |
#61431 (567/829) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<gnarfel> i run linux on my toaster
<gnarfel> granted theres no driver for the heater coils, but the fact that im eating open source toast warms the bread on its own |
#62151 (389/565) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Pan Man 120: wtf
Pan Man 120: birds sleep?
Robin: ...
Pan Man 120: it makes sense but i always kind of thought they flew around all day |
#32952 (363/525) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Monty> Question challenge #9272: what us state includes the telephone
area code 602
<azz> ibot area code 602
<iBot> i think area code 602 is Phoenix, Arizona
<Monty> Winner was iBot with the correct answer: arizona |
#24030 (336/486) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kmad> today, me and jake were playing tennis
<kmad> this mom with her son, like 11 years old, were watching us play
<kmad> a ball was hit over to them, so I ran over to pick it up
<kmad> the kid asks me, "How did you get so good at tennis??"
<kmad> I think for a second, try to hold back a grin
<kmad> "Drugs."
<kmad> The mom gave me a big old FUCK YOU and stormed off with her kid |
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