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#65178 (341/485) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dsfargeg> right, I don't even know how to start this calculus question :(
<cjr> I've got a phd on mathematics
<dsfargeg> really?? what do you do now?
<cjr> ?
<cjr> ohhh, i meant a .pdf
<dsfargeg> fuck you |
#63382 (447/639) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PenguinMan> That is wrong on so many levels, I think I had to fight a boss or two |
#58694 (369/525) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Klaxon> Dammit... I'm trying to work with this ridiculously religious client...
<Klaxon> He can't set up his forum because he's refusing to chmod 666 :( |
#56423 (364/520) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Nick) hahah wtf
(Nick) girl on tv singing
(Nick) "id like to dedicate this song to my parents. i wouldnt be here tonight without them."
(Nick) NO SHIT LADY |
#55613 (360/512) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Spoonman> it's wonderful when you log into IRC and the nickname reads: "dirtyslut"
<Spoonman> i'm going to have a talk with my girlfriend right now |
#34564 (385/549) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ChrizzNL> err this is a C++ help channel, right?
<oracel> a what?
<ChrizzNL> what kinda channel is this??
<oracel> a channel for people with the rare blood decease Rhesus C plus (plus)
<ChrizzNL> woops |
#34834 (395/565) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gnome> I believe I convinced someone to ditch AOL, too
<gnome> while I was waiting for my mom to get out of her meeting some woman started asking me computer questions
<gnome> And then proceeded to ask me about school and if there's any sort of computer training because her daughter is interested
<gnome> She then went on to exlain that her daughter likes to IM people and things like that, and so she thought should could do something in the computer field
<gnome> My first thought on this was "I like to masturbate but that doesn't mean I could be a porn star" |
#52124 (376/536) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<digitok> Talon: Enable PM
<Talon> one sec
<Talon> done
<digitok> Thanks
<Talon> ok.. why did i do that if your not gonna PM me?
<digitok> I just wanted to see if you're still my bitchComment: #spiderslair on Webchat
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#51015 (340/484) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Nail: my chemistry teacher has bad grammar
Traceur: how so
Nail: princiPAL laws of quantum numbers
Traceur: he put principle?
Nail: no
Nail: put principal
Traceur: do yuo know the difference between those two wordS?
Nail: yeah, principal is like the school administrator
Nail: because he's your pal
Traceur: 'principal' also means 'main'
Traceur: a 'principle' is a concept
Traceur: your principal failure comes from not understanding the principles of grammar.
Nail: fuck you. |
#40669 (240/338) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mookeh> Pf, I'm taking head from a guy who duct taped himself to a ceiling trying to replace a light bulb
<jez> wtf
<Oranz> WTF
<Mookeh> OMG, worst typo ever! I meant HEAT! |
#95780 (664/954) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Apollo> my girlfriend just walked in on me masturbating to goatse =/
<Trinexx> And you wonder why she cheated on you...
<Apollo> ...how the hell do you know about that? |
#249424 (332/472) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+hairypicklebuns> I got a piece of beacon stuck in my teeth
<&rtil> did it come with a lighthouse |
#297762 (422/602) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate" |
#301632 (384/548) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Jeros> im off to a wild cocaine fuelled sex party with supermodels tonight
< Jeros> ......actully im installing ubuntu but shits the same
< xoebus> both times you wake up trying to remember where your night has gone and vowing that you will never do it again? |
#302544 (31/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< shortcircuit> So there's an anime channel I hang out in, with a bot named toobparts. Toobparts is little more than a multi-stage chatbot that will try various means of saying something pseudorelevant to ambient discussion. (Markov is its last-ditch effort.)
< shortcircuit> Somehow, one of the newbies is convinced toobparts is not a bot, and knows where to download anime. Hilarity ensues.
< shortcircuit> I don't know if toober is passing the turing test, or if the newbie is failing it. |
#304159 (125/173) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
elocin says: find someone on the internet. YAHOO ANSWER THAT SHIT
bryan says: theres a fucking hamster in a kimono on the homepage of yahoo answers and you expect me to trust this as a viable source of information |
#304577 (161/225) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+mrman> "the wolverine, the largest and least popular member of the weasel family"
<+mrman> who knew someone was keeping track of the relative popularity of various weasels? |
#306764 (184/260) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@carlsson> Today is the birthday of the IBM PC and the Berlin wall!
<@carlsson> I wonder which one has caused most grief and suffering. |
#307990 (135/187) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<glxblt> i really wish life had an undo button
<GargajCNS> i'd be content with a walkthrough
<GargajCNS> or a plot synopsis on wikipedia |
#308179 (253/357) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SkyLurker> my ex had four fleshlights
<SkyLurker> I named two of them and he never used those two again :(
* ZachPrime can't afford one of those atm
<SkyLurker> the mouth one was Hungry Mary
<SkyLurker> and the other one was Gaping Gloria
<SkyLurker> sometimes I would make them perform sex acts on each other
<&ZachPrime> ... why are you telling me this? >.>
<SkyLurker> I have been keeping it to myself all these years...
<SkyLurker> I just couldn't keep it a secret anymore |
#32419 (458/654) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shavnir> I missed lunch
<Shavnir> and breakfast
<Shavnir> i'll nuke a pizza then >_<
<Mayseth> Typical American behaviour
<Mayseth> Oh, I missed a meal. I'll just nuke this poor defenseless pizza! |
#12299 (274/388) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Chern> IM SO FUCKIN BORED!
* Reaper is now known as Reaper[HAVINGFUN]
* BongB is now known as Bong[NOTBORED]
* Chissy is now known as Chiss[FUNFUNFUN]
* brod is now known as brod[IMNOTBORED]
<Chern> FUCK!!!!!! |
#29376 (386/550) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Cavalorn] ok
[Cavalorn] I must say this
[Cavalorn] in england, 'uncut' means 'not censored'
[Cavalorn] so, 'uncut porn' is 'porn with all the good bits left in'.
[CapnBee] ;llkfj
[CapnBee] ;lkjasdflkjasf,sdf
[Cavalorn] you're way ahead of me.
[Cavalorn] however, in the US, 'uncut' seems to mean 'uncircumcised'
[Cavalorn] so
[b0o] gagsagdsagasgsadsa
[Cavalorn] I am now deleting an awful lot of pictures of cocks from my hard drive
[b0o] hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha |
#2507 (353/503) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy? |
#3936 (7534/11063) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+kritical> christin: you need to learn how to figure out stuff yourself..
<+Christin1> how do i do that |
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