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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..54555657585960..599Next> |
#294926 (536/762) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Metal_Wol> WTF is a l33t h4x0r anyway?
<Metal_Wol> That hurt my head just to fucking TYPE that.
<Momaw> Don't type with your head? |
#297803 (190/264) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DevXen> they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE! |
#302973 (57/75) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Suzuran: Was was the name of that one site where people copypaste bullshit and show it to other people?
nly: oh I think you mean The InternetComment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
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#304152 (115/157) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<konaya> Right, I'm having a slight dilemma here.
<nickp666> konaya: sup?
<konaya> If I take the lift, I'll probably timeout on IRC.
<konaya> But I'm too lazy to take the stairs.
<rekoil> is the lift faster than freefall konaya?
<konaya> rekoil, that would be funny but no
<rekoil> you could throw the laptop, take the lift and catch it
<rekoil> thus remaining connected!
[...]
<konaya> Hm. They've fixed the wlan coverage in the elevators.
<konaya> I see my letters of complaint finally paid off then.Comment: #idroid-dev@irc.macos86.hu
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#310290 (70/94) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mango> Do you ever have to change a password, and then get sad, because you really liked the old password and got attached to it in the short time it was yours?
<Mango> It's like we cultivated a relationship or something. |
#117874 (206/288) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<plasticmillion> so this is totally stupid but does anyone know the keyboard shortcut to jump to the next compilation error in VS.NET
<plasticmillion> for the life of me I can't seem to find it
* plasticmillion bets that if he asked how to invert a multidimensional matrix in the current Emacs buffer someone here would know *that*
<db48x> well
<db48x> if you're in calc mode it's &
<db48x> I'm not aware of any other modes that let you do matrix math
<plasticmillion> I rest my caseComment: irc.mozilla.org #developers
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#160337 (370/524) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Ushanka> So, guys. I was reading a book about steganography, but I've lost my place.
<@Ushanka> This is a really good story about antigravity. I can't put it down!
<Mizzle> I fucking love this book about bibliophilia.
<@Ushanka> I started reading the Wikipedia article on gauntlets but stopped when it got too heavy-handed for my tastes.
<@Ushanka> I was reading the racy memoirs of a Wellington debutante but it made me feel a little sheepish.
<@Jello> I got all wrapped up in a book about bondage.
<Mizzle> I wasn't very far into my text on psychological trauma when I had to stop. It hurt too much.
<@Ushanka> The whole nation is abuzz for the new apiculture guide!Comment: #thedryeraseboard on espernet
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#295371 (284/400) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> People need to stop using the term "anti-Semitic" already. Not all Semitics are Jews, and not all Jews are Semitics. The word "Semitic" means anyone from the Arabian peninsula (Turkish, Syrians, Israelis, Palestinians, Saudis, Iraqis, Yemenis, etc.) Whereas the European Jews (Ashkenazim and Sephardim) aren't Semitic at all. So a better word for "anti-Jewish" would be "Judophobic."
<Yuri> Fear of Judo!
<Indogutsu> It comes from "Judea," the biblical name for modern-day Israel.
<BurnGriffith> Enough of your semantics, semite. :p |
#297665 (76/102) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Strengths> I have this huge zit on the side of my nose :/
<subcontinental> Paint it gold or silver and it'll look like a peircing
<Strengths> that's ... brilliant! |
#298437 (108/150) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<paul> just remember
<paul> in linux, hostname -s does a shortened hostname
<paul> in solaris, hostname -s set's the machine's hostname to -s
<paul> imagine my confusion when my solaris box kept getting its hostname changed to -s everyday
<paul> before I realized i had a script that was supposed to use the machine's hostname as part of a tar file |
#301921 (336/474) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dhar> you know how I started work at that Italian restaurant last week?
<Curris> yeah
<dhar> it's called Ristorante Tiberian and I never the Command & Conquer reference until I had this customer in
<dhar> he came in wearing a t-shirt with a red logo on it
<dhar> and when I served him he said "praise kane"
<dhar> I was so confused, I thought he was like some religious nut
<dhar> when I delivered his food I noticed the logo on his shirt was the NOD logo
<Curris> hahaha
<dhar> I almost dropped his plate cos I was laughing so much |
#302849 (336/474) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Thinpy> Well, my first day at work didn't go at all well.
<Thinpy> Even though I'm probably the only competent IT person there
<Thinpy> well, as you might know I've been unemployed and living in my own place for three months
<Thinpy> in that time i have adjusted to living in a... relaxed environment
<Thinpy> for example, i have been wearing mostly loose-fitting sweatpants
<Thinpy> so when I need to drain the ol' bladder
<Thinpy> i have perfected a move at home by which I yank 'em down and start peeing in one fluid (lol) motion
<Thinpy> today at work I needed to pee and went into the work toilets
<Thinpy> since I was alone in there I kinda instinctively used the move
<Thinpy> only to discover that work pants, held up by a belt, do not come off as easily as my sweatpants might
<Thinpy> and I urinated copiously into my pants. |
#306523 (286/402) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Chelsea: My mom just found out that furries exist
Chelsea: Because she SAW some
Chelsea: TWICE
Chelsea: and she keeps asking why I think they're creepy
Maddie: OH GOD
Chelsea: and i dont want to be like
Chelsea: "mom"
Chelsea: "i have to level with you"
Chelsea: "furries don't just enjoy dress up"
Chelsea: but anyway she was like "they were cute! they looked like they were having fun! why are they creepy?"
Chelsea: CAN'T THE MEDIA EXPLAIN THIS FOR ME
Chelsea: THIS MUST BE HOW CONSERVATIVE PARENTS FEEL WHEN THEIR KIDS ASK ABOUT GAY PEOPLE |
#307039 (108/148) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<scoff> Look, the watermelon was being microwaved to defrost it, and I don't know how my pants fell down when I tripped but those pictures are my intellectual property |
#309171 (78/104) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist |
#309704 (119/163) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ButchDeLoria> hey guess what I got
<advi> a boner
<ButchDeLoria> worse
<ButchDeLoria> It starts with an M and ends with an R
<advi> midget boner |
#75285 (346/490) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Buck> a religious discussion on digg is like asking which power ranger is the strongest in kindergarten |
#69534 (343/487) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Orochi> Give a man a fish he will eat for a day....
<@Orochi> However, if you teach a man to fish he will bore the hell out of you on the outdoor living channel |
#67118 (291/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[thrukriz] guys do you know how to use MYSQL?
[samble] 'fraid so
[thrukriz] afraid of what
[samble] you asking me shit about it |
#58795 (361/511) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Apollo> Ugh, I was looking at this one animal porn site, and the chick blowing the dog spit out what looked like melted ice cream. Dog cum doesnt look like that, it's clear, ffs.
<Trinexx> Two things wrong with that
<Trinexx> 1) Why the hell are you looking at animal porn?
<Trinexx> 2) How the FUCK do you know what dog cum looks like?
<Apollo> uh... would you believe curiosity? |
#57089 (551/787) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Biffa: ..I said "Do you love mummy?" She said yes. I said "Do you love daddy?" She said yes. I said "Do you love me?" She said yes. I thought "aaah bless, how sweet". I was so happy. But I wasn't sure if she meant it, so as a test I said "Do you love Hitler?" She said yes. I thought "Bugger, she'll say yes to anything." But I felt better when I took her home, she showed me her bedroom and it was covered with pictures of Hitler. |
#51100 (347/491) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
donchongo: i wonder what possesed some one to invent play-doh and silly putty
Wildfire: poop dries out to fast
donchongo: that really put a screeching halt to my thought process |
#50716 (343/485) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
nurv3947: So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she's kinda fat, right?
nurv3947: And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend and asks "Are you pregnant?"
nurv3947: And she says "Yes, I got gang raped by twelve donuts." |
#50574 (297/419) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
EternalFootman: 25g of wafers and 20mL of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of Jesus. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
LittleBunny32: if you assume that the material properties of GOD possess an infinite enthalpy, and obviously that of mortal materials are finite, then the transubstantiation process requires an infinite amount of energy and will freeze the entire universe. Alternately, if we assume they can be transmuted from the infinite creative capabilities (and energy) of GOD, then by combusting them we can receive an infinite amount of free energy and the catholic church is holding out on us |
#50213 (330/466) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Milktea> theres a lotta controversey about 9-11
<W1N9Zr0> it's -2 |
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