|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..59606162636465..599Next> |
#308117 (65/91) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Baljem: BBC News Headline "'GPS brain cells' seen in pigeons"
Baljem: look, dipshits, it may come as a surprise
Baljem: but there are perfectly good methods of navigation that existed for quite some time before GPS
Baljem: so could we /please/ stop referring to anything to do with being able to fucking navigate as 'satnav' and 'GPS'? before I have to come and smack you around a bit? kthx
RS_Asleep: Baljem: Now they could use an iPhone and have always up-to-date information and the pigeon could use them 53 brain cells for something else! ;)
Baljem: impossible
Baljem: nothing with 53 or more brain cells would buy an iPhone in the first place ;) |
#310194 (42/58) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<madk> The interpreter uses an unbounded tape size, but due to technical limitations will stop being unbounded if the tape size reaches 2^63 cells. |
#69240 (373/535) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
thepr0fessor: Can anyone define simply the "Big Bang Theory?
kidxskate5: BOOM |
#63878 (295/421) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tydel> this fat chick walked up to me at the club tonight
<tydel> she's like "I like vodka, buy me a drink"
<tydel> I was like "I like blowjobs, buy ME a drink"
<tydel> kind of a conversation ender |
#55369 (328/468) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@shea> WTF
<@shea> i'm subbing for my 'boss' today because he's out
<@shea> and i was doing something for someone else on his computer
<@shea> and i noticed on his desktop there's a quake3 icon
< Tominator> found porn?
<@shea> but it's not called quake3
<@shea> it's called
<@shea> 'Kicking Shea's Ass'
<@shea> :[ |
#53386 (314/448) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< transgress> "The Internet, of course, is more than just a place to find pictures of people having sex with dogs."
< transgress> - Time Magazine, 3 July 1995 |
#52156 (288/410) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
NoVwith A Bullet: lol, get this
NoVwith A Bullet: I'm chillin' here in cooper hall after hours
NoVwith A Bullet: building's all locked up
mattye15: yah
mattye15: lol
NoVwith A Bullet: security guards walk by and are like "yo, just to let you know, it's locked up, so if you leave, you can't get back in, and don't let anyone in"
NoVwith A Bullet: about half an hour later, I hear this knocking at the door next to me
NoVwith A Bullet: I ignore it
NoVwith A Bullet: it gets louder
NoVwith A Bullet: still ignore
NoVwith A Bullet: the person is freakin' POUNDING on the door when I decide to get up and look
NoVwith A Bullet: it's the security guards
NoVwith A Bullet: they locked themselves out
mattye15: LOL
mattye15: thats funny
NoVwith A Bullet: oh BOY do I feel safe on this campus!
mattye15: wow
NoVwith A Bullet: Best part? They left again without getting their keys |
#51190 (283/403) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<RPharazon> I was reading a rather nice article about suicide, and what the consequences were.
<GoneWacko> Well, generally, you die. |
#50650 (277/397) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
anomaly aww there are birdies nesting right above my window frame
anomaly the mother is starring at me wondering if I'm gonna eat her young
anomaly how cute
anomaly I think I'll get kfc tonight and freak them out |
#44161 (352/504) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Areku> No wait, you don't understand
<Areku> I'm the incest guy here
<Areku> *nicest
<Areku> ... BAD typoComment: gaming.windfyre.net #SN-Sync
|
#79712 (316/452) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< nixternal> hey, I have Office 2007 Enterprise free, who wants it?
< Red_Herring> ME ME ME ME ME
< nixternal> for real?
< Red_Herring> no
< nixternal> why not?
< Red_Herring> a) i dont use windows
< Red_Herring> b) i dont use office
< nixternal> you passed the test!
< Red_Herring> what do i win?
< nixternal> Office 2007 EnterpriseComment: #ubuntu-chicago
|
#63876 (312/446) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<steve> I just jumped over the coffee table in the living room into a roll because I thought there was no one there but my dad was in the kitchen and he was like wtf are you doing you idiot |
#34477 (354/508) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<umopepisdn> About a month ago one of my tires popped.
<umopepisdn> I ended up cutting about half of the tire off of the rim with a pair of scissors because I didn't know what to do.
<umopepisdn> Then I realized that the spare tire has got a rim on it.Comment: Ah yes... nerds and cars =)
|
#55422 (422/606) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Modoc> I had a person ask me at work how I learned about computers. and I said you remimber dating in HS he sead yes. And I sead I don't.Comment: #mIRC :)
|
#52590 (211/299) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<mick> any idea of the performance difference between 10krpm and 15krpm?
<Plug> ~5krpm |
#50718 (294/420) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kiell> so it was my mate's funeral the other day
<Kiell> the parents asked his girlfriend to choose a song that he liked.
<Kiell> and between them they picked out "Bombtrack" by Rage Against The Machine.
<Kiell> So, just before the coffin disappeared to be cremated, Zach de la Rocha is screaming "burn, burn, yes you're gonna burn".
<Kiell> Funniest. Funeral. Ever. |
#35966 (277/395) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Murray-Mint> I'm up for Fuedalism
<Murray-Mint> as long as I can be the Lord
<Flirbnic> No way. Me!
<Mort-Hog> In two lines, we've summed up the fundemental problem of feudalism. |
#40638 (215/305) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Whoahey> Yeah, y'know those headphones we sell where it blocks out all other sound but still lets you listen to music?
<ColonelPanic> Yeah
<Whoahey> Y'know how I always say that everyone always puts them on and their friend always says the same thing
<Whoahey> "Can you hear me?! You're a complete tool! <insert random insult> ...did you hear that?"
<ColonelPanic> Heh right.
<Whoahey> Some guy and his girlfriend came in and tried it
<Whoahey> Might I add, she was friggin' gorgeous
<Whoahey> He puts on the headphones, usual conversation ensues -- "Can you hear me?" ::dude shrugs::
<Whoahey> And I'm not even kidding, the girl yells out at the top of her lungs "I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU WITH MIKE!"
<ColonelPanic> holy shit lol
<Whoahey> The guy just laughs, shrugs and points to the headphones.
<Whoahey> I swear, everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and were like O_O |
#32633 (543/785) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<fred> sorry if i disappointed you, people have told me my penis is small before
<fred> FUCK WRONG WINDOW SHIT FUCK BALLS
<fred> if any of you bastards send that to bash ill kill you |
#30033 (8583/12733) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Backslash> So a friend of mind comes over to my house and stays the night
<Backslash> Now there is a computer and t.v. in my room so naturally she spent most of the day in there and since I only have once chair in it she sat on my bed
<Backslash> Well at like 4am she fell asleep on it while I was on the computer and I didn’t have the heart to wake her up so I slept on the couch downstairs
<Backslash> Like a month later I’m over at her house with a bunch of her friends and since there was no where to sleep I slept on the couch again
<Backslash> The next morning during breakfast one of her friends says you look tired
<Backslash> and I was like yeah I didn’t sleep great I’m kinda used to my bed
<Backslash> then my friend goes yeah your bed is awesome!
<Backslash> I froze and glanced over at her parents who gave me the most evil look I have ever seen… |
#27889 (328/470) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ParadoX> lol my friend just said he stole a bong from this guys house, but from how he described it, it's a penis pump
<ParadoX> he said he put his mouth to it, and it smelled funny
<ParadoX> HAHAHA
<Phucker> Owned. |
#24380 (346/496) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DocUK> whats a dropship
<supernorn2000> a ship that drops things, preferably passengers
<supernorn2000> But in Halo it drops vehicles
<Skumby> usually it drops them gently too
<Skumby> Otherwise it'll be called a bomber |
#17023 (342/490) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know |
#16298 (309/442) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DaveMan> if a cop ever shoots, he/she means to kill
<DaveMan> standard practice is two at the torso, then try to put one in the head
<jitspoe> getting shot twice in the torso would suck
<Fryth> getting one would be a breeze, though
<jitspoe> Fryth: that only drops me to 60 health |
#16247 (516/745) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<teresa> how is your meeting
<msd> well
<msd> we got off topic
<msd> and everyone is now looking at porn |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..59606162636465..599Next> |
|