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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..55565758596061..599Next> |
#32235 (7440/10856) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pigeon-mirk> davey made that avatar for me, i am eternally in his bed
<pigeon-mirk> debt
<pigeon-mirk> DEBT! |
#32200 (367/519) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[ tw1tch ] god my gf has a nice ass
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] pic plz
[ tw1tch ] screw you :P its for my ass only
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] eyes*
[ tw1tch ] yeah
[ tw1tch ] see, I have a one track ass
[ tw1tch ] mind* damnit!Comment: #d2jsp
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#25161 (383/543) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FFChatter > est ce quelqu un sait comment on fait apparaitre le menu triche dans FFX??
<Drago> Anyone speak French?
<FFChatter > yes me |
#31822 (276/392) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@SLing> anyway I love grocery shopping because I get to make my family look like fools
<@SLing> the other day we were at the grocery store
<@SLing> and the first place was all the melons (like canteloupe, grapefruit, etc)
<evolsoulx> mmhmm
<@SLing> anyway I remembered hearing from some TV chef that before buying melons you're supposed to knock on them
<@SLing> so
<@SLing> I stood there
<@SLing> for five minutes
<@SLing> knocking on melons
<@SLing> people started looking at me strange
<evolsoulx> lol
<@SLing> I was like "It's ok, the TV chef told me to"
<Erik> lol
<@SLing> I'd knock on one and be like "This one sounds fresh"
<@SLing> long story short I don't have to go grocery shopping anymore |
#29168 (7913/11589) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Arai> I use my right hand for everything except *one* thing.
<Arai> Not wanking.
<Arai> I wipe my ass with my left hand.
<Vhabion> I use toillet paper |
#14552 (264/372) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prick> I hate parents who add letters to their kids' otherwise normal names
<prick> Or change them
<prick> "JESSICKA" "TIPHANIE"
<prick> Do you really think that your child will be unique or sparkling because of the confusion associatedwith their name?
<prick> All you're doing is setting her up for a lifetime of spelling out her name to strangers |
#85582 (292/412) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kogita> Google ads: PDF Password Cracker! Recover Acrobat PDF file to allow read, edit, copy, and print with PdfCracker.
<Kogita> right next to it: Secure your PDFs! Secure, encrypt and send PDF documents by e-mail with PdfCrypter.
<Kogita> Which one do you trust? |
#132907 (665/953) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[marquis] Vista on my wife's laptop takes up ~800MB of RAM X_X
[carbine] Get a new wife.. One that doesn't use Vista |
#282392 (458/654) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sereni> What the hell.
<sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
<sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason. |
#295851 (322/456) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<glxblt> when my dad was a fire fighter they had this special technique for putting out fires called the "APP-technique"
<glxblt> Antaa Paskan Palaa. Roughly translated as "Let the piece of shit burn"
<glxblt> it was easier to use the "APP" -term around the owners of the property when the fire was so bad that they didn't really try to put it out, just to contain it
<glxblt> if they'd openly talk about just letting it burn it sorta might've upset the owners :D
<glxblt> also known as "removing the burning material."
<glxblt> (by burning it) |
#297468 (544/778) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jaska_> A scientist wants to reduce my body temperature to minus 273 degrees Celsius
<jaska_> My wife says it'll kill me, but I think I'll be 0K |
#303720 (272/386) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<melvin47> dont you hate it when your printer malfunctions when you need to print something important?
<sourav405> dont you hate it when your pubic hairs get caught in your foreskin, and when you get an erection the force of the expansion pulls on them and makes it feel like your scrotum is being ripped apart?
<melvin47> dude what the FUCK |
#305147 (300/424) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> So.
<MurderMachine> My rectal went something like this:
<MurderMachine> "Tell me when it feels uncomfortable"
<MurderMachine> "Dr Donaldson I'm lying on a bed pointing my ass at a relative stranger. It's already less comfortable than I'd like." |
#308192 (96/130) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ikthyrion> oh wow... finding stuff when you are drunk is really hard
<Ikthyrion> what was I looking for?
<Ikthyrion> I found a cat
<&ZachPrime> you were looking for your phone |
#6824 (7385/10807) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Logan> I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident.
<@Logan> I was thinking "What the hell is this guy doing?" |
#78156 (511/731) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Pan Man 120: wow she is pretty hot
Pan Man 120: i'd hit that so hard the person who could pull me out would be the next king of england |
#61545 (410/584) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+DaDead> are you hot?
< sadaiy> if i was hot i wouldn't be looking for friends over the net |
#34120 (389/553) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kobrakiller> hahahahahaha
<kobrakiller> the first hit for furry porn on google images is hardcore furry gay
<kobrakiller> furrys are such fucking faggots
<beans> eh
<beans> why are you looking for furry porn?
<kobrakiller> it was accidental
<beans> oh, I see. you mistyped whatever you were looking for and accidentally entered 'furry porn'
* kobrakiller has quit IRC (Quit) |
#54799 (463/661) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER |
#35774 (371/527) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fonzy2> i remmebr the days when there weraonly aorund 5 people in teh IRC channels
<Timwi> I remember the days when "teh" wasn't a word |
#48318 (424/604) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ryouko> yo feed me german sentences to say to him
<ViscountPherget> ich will deinen Rücken küssen während ich dir meinen Schwanz einführe
<Ryouko> ok, lol
<Ryouko> what does that mean btw
<ViscountPherget> let me kiss your back while I insert my cock into you
<Ryouko> AW FUCK MAN
<ViscountPherget> lol |
#40807 (304/430) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified. |
#81660 (378/538) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trinexx[4fk]> Vista makes me feel like a kid again. Not being able to do anything, having to get permission to talk to anybody, not being able to play any of the "cool" games, etc |
#76837 (355/505) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GnrlMc> The closest you ever got to asking her out was using the characters of her name as iterators in your programming projects... |
#69953 (335/479) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jon> shit... im sittin here tryin to get info about Tool for my class presentatin, and 40 mins later here i am reading about woody allen, history of fonts, and the temptations of jesus of nazareth
<jon> stupid wikipedia, be less organized! |
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