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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..58596061626364..599Next> |
#56806 (320/456) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<comwalk> Remember, here in the U.S.A, we have reached a new age.
<comwalk> NOBODY is responsible for their own actions.
<comwalk> Remember that.
<comwalk> Holy shit! I killed somebody! Bob made me do it!
<comwalk> Bob: Joe made me do it!
<comwalk> Joe: I blame the media!
<comwalk> Media: Videogames.
<comwalk> Videogames: Personal responsibility?
<comwalk> Personal Responsibility: <AFK> |
#34748 (350/498) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<gloone> most of the people in there really are geeks with issues
<gloone> we were talking about weight
<gloone> and everyone in there were like "I'm 5'2" and i weigh 230 pounds."
<gloone> and then i told them i'm 6'2" and weigh 165
<gloone> and i got permbanned |
#35322 (508/730) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CherryBomb> haha somebody was suspended from school for bringing a cookie
<dash> what kind of cookie
<CherryBomb> peanut butter
<dash> why the suspension then?
<CherryBomb> because he apparently threatened histeacher with it
<CherryBomb> who was allergic to itComment: haha.
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#50475 (343/489) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rohoho> dude
<Rohoho> your not gonna believe this
<Rohoho> some bastard is picking my mangos
<Ranju> go fuck him up
<Rohoho> brb...
<Ranju> kk
<Rohoho> WTF
<Rohoho> he fucken hit me!
<Rohoho> with my own mango |
#35474 (418/598) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+fleet> morning
<+ke1th> morning honey.
<+fleet> aww sweetie, its been ages since you said that
<+ke1th> for this convo to go on anymore.. we'd just sound really gay.
<+fleet> well, according to some other deviants, they're already under the impression I am gay
<+dxd> fleets not gay? :o
<+fleet> yes, unfortunately, I am as straight as a ruler
<+dxd> :<
<+ke1th> one of those plastic ones that bend?
<+fleet> all the way round baby |
#50144 (303/431) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<No> I'm in a class teaching PERL. We're supposed to be looking up information about it. Someone say something vaguely related to it so I can justify being on here.
<Elantios> PERL sucks
<No> That'll do. |
#35580 (352/502) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mattt|afk> lol hex
<Mattt|afk> but how'd you get all his files deleted via mIRC..
<hex> sec
<hex> //echo -a $findfile(C:\,*.*,0,remove $1-)
<hex> something like that
<hex> he asked "is it harmful?"
<hex> "no.."
<hex> "it just removes all files"
<hex> a couple seconds later he disconnected, connection reset by peer
*** Jhaelyrr has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer) |
#48739 (493/707) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<VEKrueger> Heh I was at the mall today
<VEKrueger> One of the janitors (all dark gray uniform)
<VEKrueger> He had a black headband on with extra fabric in the back hanging down and a brown mullet haircut
<VEKrueger> He was mopping, he walked away, then walked back and slipped on the water and fell flat on his back
<MaXilla> hahaha
<MaXilla> NICE
<VEKrueger> Somebody across the room shouted "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" |
#36098 (227/319) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has joined #divmod
< tjs> folks, I need some info
< exarkun> tjs: The capital of Maine is Augusta.
< tjs> awsome, thanks
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has left #divmod ["Leaving"] |
#42828 (307/437) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< Aldryic> damn
< Aldryic> I'm grounded to my office for the rest of the day
< Aldryic> a customer came in while I was straddeling a Dell and shouting "We're gonna ride this thing to the MOON!" |
#42802 (462/662) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(thyriad) $bla = mail($Replyemail, $Theme, $Moreheaders, $Firstmessage);
(thyriad) thats how i have it right now
(thyriad) and it dont work
(+Opium) that's because it's wrong
(thyriad) lol
(thyriad) well what order should it be in
(+Opium) rtfm
(thyriad) excellent it works now, thanks
(+Opium) ... |
#42476 (286/406) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
ilanbg: oh man, in school today i had to present a biography thing on aristotle, some philosopher, and we needed to come up with a slogan that'd remind us of whatever the subject, and i didn't yhave one, so I walked to the front of the class, no idea what to say, and just said the first thing that came out of my mouth
ilanbg: and it was "It's the thought that counts."
ilanbg: i got an A. |
#31900 (512/736) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LuminuS> everything you like = gay
<SniperGuy> i like you LuminuSComment: irc.mikernet.org
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#29027 (356/508) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Magus`> My mom keeps assuming I'm gay.
<Magus`> WHich makes no sense.
<Magus`> I'm like... "My friend is coming over."
<Magus`> "Is he handsome?"
<Magus`> "I.. guess?"
<Magus`> "You're gay, aren't you?" |
#21286 (327/466) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Charles> Well, Smith is a virus now.
<Charles> (Whee irony regarding his 'humans are a virus' thing in the first movie)
<Charles> So I think he wouldn't so much upgrade as mutate, like when he developed the ability to infect people.
<Zereth> I've heard him comapred to a pop-up ad.
<Zereth> Kill one and another dozen show up.
<Zereth> "Mister Anderson, click here for HOT TEEN BUTTFUCKING." |
#31919 (370/530) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<^NoS^Sikarian> you know
<^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past week
<^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out?
<^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles are like a little kid
<^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME! LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D =D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!"
<^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see you"
<^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D" |
#30406 (309/441) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<iPBS> you know
<iPBS> there were billions of virus emails traveling the net last week
<iPBS> people were complainging about getting hundreds of emails in their inbox's
<iPBS> and i didn't get a single email virus
<slightly> me neither
<iPBS> whats that say about our popularity?
<slightly> :( |
#29167 (7153/10557) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Digga> they're all shit in my....WHAT THE FUCK?
<Digga> it sounded like someone just tried to kick the door in
<Digga> brb
<Digga> i open the door
<Digga> someone's lying there
<Jiggaboy> wtf
<Digga> they came to deliver a pizza leaflet
<Digga> tripped up the step
<Digga> smashed into the door
<Digga> and fell over |
#22682 (283/403) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Gordo> Me? I'm 23.
<Gordo> Wait, I'm 24...
<Gordo> Shit, it was my brithday yesterday!!! |
#118819 (490/704) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<averagjoe> Yup, that's the proverbial spewing-coffee-on-the-monitor
<LCkitten> Which proverb is that from?
<dianagram> I believe its from Starbucks 4:95
<JustWhoIAm> Is that from the "Book of Christ and Latte Day Saints"? |
#297445 (65/87) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tscmga?> hi, i am just trying to register a new account on ubuntu forum
<tscmga?> it ask me a question
<tscmga?> What color is an orange? |
#298561 (230/326) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<james> I wonder how many people are familiar with the term bukkake
<pegmeloN> :P
<pegmeloN> ... wow, that was about the worst possible choice of smiley for that response |
#301609 (345/493) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<redcurl> i have successfully creeped myself out to the point i can't sleep
<redcurl> i was reading an article about stange things, like the bermuda triangle and they mentioned shadow people
<redcurl> you ever see something out of the corner of your eye? like a person or something but it's not there when you turn to look? or it walks through a wall or something?
<TMH> only when i'm baked as hell
<redcurl> we used to have that really bad at my old house- there was a long hallway all the rooms were off and if you were at the kitchen table you'd see someone walk from room to room without anyone else there.
<redcurl> i hadn't thought about it in years.
<redcurl> so now i'm all creeped out
<TMH> shadow people coming to get youuuuuuu
<redcurl> SHUT UP
<TMH> actually no really have you thought about them
<TMH> if they hide a lot maybe they just want to be left alone
<TMH> and if they can walk through physical objects then surely they can't actually touch physical objects
<TMH> how do they live? how do they eat? do they reproduce?
<redcurl> shush
<TMH> MAYBE THEY REPRODUCE BY SLEEPING WITH US
<redcurl> i don't want to think about it. i'll get more creeped out.
<TMH> oh god oh god oh god
<TMH> ever had a really good sex dream?
<TMH> SHADOW PEOPLE
<redcurl> STEVE WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN
<redcurl> WAAAAAH |
#303665 (174/244) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Azazial> My mom is a very nice and helpful person with an extremely strange world view. I dunno if I've ever told this one over here, but my mom does not believe in something that is very common. Something that you are most likely using right now!
<&Summer> Your mom doesn't beleive in the internet?
<@Azazial> Nope. She's merely inept at the internet.
<@Azazial> The magical item that she does not believe in is.... atoms.
<@Azazial> It gets better, however. Her husband is a PhD research chemist! |
#305574 (229/327) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Timmeh> harrah, my dad got through his surgery well
<@Timmeh> so well in fact his main complaint is having to wear a hospital gown
<@Timmeh> first words through the door "hey dad, how're you feeling?" "I'm wearing a fucking dress, son" |
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