|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..52535455565758..599Next> |
#311122 (77/103) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kit> Is anyone around who has my nude pics who can forward them to someone? |
#80426 (565/799) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Zipper: wtf
Zipper: i'm too fuckin tired to be legally allowed to be awake
Zipper: i just pressed Windows+L to logoff
Zipper: and upon seeing the logon screen
Zipper: i typed my password to log back in.
Zipper: why?
Zipper: i have no fucking clue... |
#33530 (435/613) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face |
#33707 (387/543) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mkat> :o
<mkat> OMFG
<mkat> WILL THE PEOPLE UPSTAIRS PLEASE EITHER STOP HAVING SEX OR INVITE PLZ |
#59294 (281/393) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Anan> My friend said those exams aren't too bad...as long as you know your stuff
<Si> thats like sayin walkin isnt hard as long as uve got legs |
#56933 (377/529) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AaA> last year when i was working as a day laborer after i got laid off from my other job, i was hired by a contractor to expand a deck for this couple
<AaA> it was going to be expanded out to the son's old room on the second floor, and so they also wanted the walls of the room ripped out
<AaA> so i grabbed a sledgehammer and began pounding out the walls around the closet, and i lost my grip and it fell out of my hand
<AaA> the hammer hits the floor, and about a quarter of the flooring in the closet gives way and i fall through and crash down onto the dining room table, which had dishes and stuff on it, i got cut up pretty good
<AaA> the owners ran inside to find me on the crushed table.
<AaA> it was then they mentioned that their son had a habit of pissing in the closet during the night.
<AaA> :/ |
#55808 (420/592) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SteelHard> how r u ?
* Gen|G^2 is now known as Gen|G^ZZZ
* Gen|G^ZZZ gives SteelHard an a,e,y and o before he goes
<SteelHard> what ?
<Gen|G^ZZZ> how can i put it nicely...
* Gen|G^ZZZ is now known as TheEnglishLanguage
<TheEnglishLanguage> OH GOD IM DYING |
#35080 (462/652) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lewko> Do you want to have lunch?
<BenK> Sure. What did you feel like eating?
<Lewko> Anything, as long as it used to frolic in a meadow!
<BenK> Hippies? |
#8305 (332/466) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Saber> just when I manage to convince myself I'm a superior being, I walk into a door |
#31838 (320/448) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<babywafn> I wrapped my arm in duct tape
<babywafn> and then unravelled the roll
<babywafn> and wrapped the other end around a pipe
<babywafn> and then dropped from the ceiling
<babywafn> and it jerked my arm BUT IT HELD
<fap> wafn has experienced boredom beyond our comprehension
<babywafn> it was not boredom
<babywafn> I was evading authorities |
#30373 (301/421) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* [NYC] has joined #emu
<[NYC]> yo
<[NYC]> whats this channel for
<splice> making fun of people who ask legitimate questions |
#28320 (311/435) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Carp_AFK> i planned to dye my hair this weekend
<Carp_AFK> till i was told i was supposed to put vaseline all round my forehead, and wear gloves
<Carp_AFK> and theres no way im going to a shop buying some rubber gloves and a tub of vaseline |
#27200 (268/374) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ecchi-oni-misha132> i watched legally blonde 1 in the hospital
<Frostbiteh2o> heh
<Frostbiteh2o> how was it?
<ecchi-oni-misha132> found it mildly amusing with the help of opiats |
#15188 (331/463) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rbeattie> If you were MEANT to understand it, we wouldn't have called it 'code' |
#17246 (328/460) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[H]Mephisto_kur_srv_> nArKeD... How flexible is your morality?
<nArKeD> what morals?
<0dan0> that is the right answer |
#32280 (363/511) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins |
#32073 (345/485) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* doky was kicked by Mortegro (banned:The maximum number of AOL users (0) has been reached.) |
#28912 (334/470) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Maidros says "They had me evaluate network monitoring software last year."
Maidros says "The stuff that will tell you where people are surfing and such."
Maidros says "I ran it for a week, found that *I* was the worst offender, and told the boss it was too expensive."Comment: some random mush chatter
|
#25389 (311/439) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mal> there were so many people using POP3 at DefCon... it was obscene
<Mal> who the hell sends out a text password over a network surrounded by FIVE THOUSAND hackers!? |
#71701 (425/601) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[TL]seFFYLIGht> I see that the kid that was leeching my sig from my photobucket account took it down after I changed the file to a large image that said "I suck cocks, heehee."Comment: #tremulous@quakenet
|
#61709 (443/625) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Hmm.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Ok, question for the USians in the channel.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> First of all, the background - as a dual citizen, once I reach a certain point, I have to file US income tax returns even if I don't actually owe any taxes. And my dad has been giving me an overview of the US tax system.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> So, my question is this:
<ToxicFrog|AFK> What the hell?
<MyCatOwnz> Bwahahahahaha!
<@Tekkie007> Always happy to lend a hand to the CAians.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Is the IRS made up entirely of monstrosities from outside the walls of reality that are inimical to life as we know it?
<Geminii> Yes.
<pixel> Yep.
<Geminii> Next question?
<@Tekkie007> And you've caught on to our tax system amazingly fast.
<ToxicFrog|AFK> Does your government hate students? Were the tax forms copied from the crawling, N-dimensional writings of madness itself on the walls of Rl'yeh, or are they the result of some even more malevolent process?
<Geminii> Yes, yes, and yes.
* ToxicFrog|AFK flailsComment: #tsc on nightstar
|
#55338 (354/498) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Da5id> So, this 13 year old kid was bitching about how metallica sold out and stuff and how terrible it was to have your idols become lame when you're his age
< Da5id> my response was, "Yeah man, I know, I remember when metallica sold out when I was your age too" |
#54860 (394/558) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Deranged): Haha... me and a friend were riding around today, and we stopped at a traffic light where there were two high school girls standing on the corner waiting to cross.
(Deranged): So my friend rolls down his window and asked one of the girls, "Hey, what can I get for ten dollars?"
(Deranged): They both opened their mouths in shock, so I leaned over and said, "Really? Then what can I get for $20?"
(Deranged): Turns out we can get cussed out for free. :/ |
#51840 (441/623) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dudicon> Hmm.
<Dudicon> What I just did started out ridiculously lazy, but then... I don't know what happened.
<Dudicon> I was too lazy to get up and get a piece of paper, so I decided to print a blank page from the printer.
<Dudicon> But... I couldn't open any new files in Word Perfect, because I had the max number open already
<Dudicon> So I went through all the files to see which I could close
<Dudicon> Then closed that one and made a new file
<Dudicon> But it wouldn't let me print it blank
<Dudicon> So I put an "F" on the document and made the font white.
<Dudicon> Then printed it
<Dudicon> Just to move this piece of paper 18 inches closer to me.
<BaronSamedi> ...
<BaronSamedi> Dud, kill yourself. Your life is now complete.Comment: #almea
|
#51684 (345/485) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Dave: I checked for wireless networks here, and I found some (protected though). One of them is named Linksys (how original), andother is HomeWireless (mine), then there was one called RobandKelly, and a 4th one called "RobandKellyaregay" |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..52535455565758..599Next> |
|