|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..46474849505152..599Next> |
#304871 (65/85) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<martin> "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals."
<mking> So what does that make Java?
<zstevens> a DSL for converting XML to stack traces |
#304203 (181/245) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@JC>Haha this is awesome.
<@JC>Im in sydney airport sitting next to all these really clueless people - i realised (yes i fucking realised how bored i was at
the same time) that new firmware had come out for my modem - so i telnetted in and upgraded it - and while i was at it i noticed my voip dialplan was all wrong too so i fixed that up - basically i was winning command prompt big time.
<@JC>This being an aiport and a "console" looking dodgy as fuck got some girl running to the security guard thinking i am like sending airport infrastructure results back to the KGB or some shit. Basically i was like zero cool to this chick - which is pretty cool.
<@JC>He comes over to me and grabs my shoulder and asks what i was doing i said i was "hacking the gibson"
<@JC>AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CONFISCATED MY GODDAMN LAPTOP - HE HAD TO HAVE AN IT "EXPERT" LOOK AT MY LAPTOP WHICH DELAYED MY FLIGHT UNDER A "SECURITY RISK" i swear to god - they are just getting bored - like all this money
going toward airport security and they bag a dude for telnetting his modem - when that lady next to me was probably smuggling crack inbetween her butt cheeks.
<@JC>So moral of this story - telnetting can sometimes get you nearly arrested. |
#225287 (516/716) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<T1gger> I just screwed up severely...
<T1gger> I brought a girl (a big girl) home and it went further than it should have...
<T1gger> Her arse is gone now, but how do I let her down gently?
<deNYEd> forklift. |
#283996 (159/215) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Krechet> don't set your alarm clock tonight
<Krechet> let god decide whether you go to school tommorow or not |
#300279 (590/820) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kaiser> 9 out of 10 voices in my head tell me I'm insane...
<kaiser> the 10th voice hums the tetris themeComment: #twokinds of nightstar
|
#103050 (188/258) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<KR> I don't think anyone ever manged to compile that package
<Cygnum> crap. Any tips anyone?
<KR> divine assistance?
<Cygnum> right. i'll light some candles, sprinkle some holy water on the keyboard and shout "the power of christ compiles you!" before pressing enter. |
#118122 (246/336) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<apples> the program 'apt-get' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: apt-get install apt-get
<fuchoo> lol |
#306563 (324/446) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* TFBundy quit (No route to host)
* TFBundy joined
<TFBundy> cat just faceplanted into my router |
#160100 (358/494) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
jazza joined the chat room.
jazza: hi
jazza: can anyone help me
xexyz: no
xexyz: IRC is 100% Help-Free for 53 days now
xexyz: And we don't want to let the union down by starting now |
#305523 (307/425) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
11:01 <tamara> i love peeing
11:01 <tamara> wanna see what i did to my boyfriend
11:01 <tamara> uh
11:01 <tamara> unrelated |
#304300 (459/637) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DayNine> Fractal alligators.
<DayNine> Like a normal alligator, but instead of arms, there are more alligators. |
#302272 (433/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER! |
#299563 (234/320) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Alyssa: soo, how are we going to be awesome? i leave what we're doing up to you, cause i just sit around
Marc Truant: pshhh, anything
Marc Truant: we could watch a movie or hang at the mall. maybe chill at a house. fuck. anything!
Alyssa: okayy :D it's up to you
Marc Truant: you didnt catch that, did you?
Alyssa: ...oh |
#68888 (371/513) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Phryss: to change stuff, I need a password I don't remember
Phryss: but I wrote it down for safe-keeping
Phryss: I wrote it on a post-it
Phryss: and put the post-it in the owner's manual
Phryss: which my parents lost.
Phryss: so I click the "forgot password" link
Phryss: which gives me a password hint
Phryss: The hint that I chose tells me that it's on the post-it that's inside the owners manual that my parents lost. |
#61151 (385/533) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_GGA> Never.. ever.. misspell
<The_GGA> INSECT
<The_GGA> especially in a google image search. |
#34689 (392/542) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tharaka> my computer said "shutting down in 60 seconds"
<tharaka> and i set the clock back to the 1st of april
<tharaka> and now it says "shutting down in 4 days"
<tharaka> hahaha.. stupid microsoft
<tharaka> oh fuck!
* tharaka (tharaka@c210-49-185-160.werrb1.vic.optusnet.com.au) Quit (Connection Reset By Peer) |
#50193 (350/486) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@kex) "Tomorrow: Showery rains containing strong gusty winds and heavy downpours at times. High around 85F. Winds SSW at 50 to 70 mph. Rainfall over two inches. Winds could occasionally gust over 70 mph early."
(@kex) i love how weather channel doesn't just say "Tomorrow: Hurricane." |
#14014 (356/497) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err |
#22238 (400/554) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh. |
#17887 (339/472) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ShowHour> Any hot girls with a cam free for chat?
<Hot^Gay_Male> yes
<Hot^Gay_Male> msg me |
#2515 (358/494) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ckx> hrm does anybody else ever think "yep... the internet... vast information and opportunities at my disposal..."
<ckx> and then just sit at the search engine
<ckx> :/ |
#81 (493/684) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shaft`> I bought it through a special deal at work
<Guilty> The deal where you put what you can under your jacket? |
#1578 (8348/11878) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host) |
#11507 (396/549) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kurt> I will now make this man disappear!
***Exitium has been kicked by Kurt (Hocus Pocus)
<Kurt> Voila!
<jre> Hey, I saw you palm him and place him in your ass!
<Kurt> THIS SHOW IS OVER! |
#79667 (431/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dan_Dinh> *yet?
<Dan_Dinh> you haven't done the review ye ?
<Spik3balloon> holy crap, dan can see into the future |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..46474849505152..599Next> |
|