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#261527 (341/467) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kuiper> My mom got me a toilet brush for Christmas.
<sic> lmao
<sic> have you been using it?
<kuiper> Well, yeah, but it hasn't been working too well. In fact, I think I may just go back to using paper. |
#297972 (196/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Crimson_Dynamo> If I were stranded on a desert isle, I think I would make a girl out of coconuts, but she'd probably just want to be friends |
#31162 (352/484) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nomad> then my comp teacher said, "someone sterilized a mouse, the ball is missing" |
#30383 (366/502) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<animus> Anyone else ever notice that with each new release of an image editor it becomes harder harder to draw a circle? |
#28523 (308/422) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #freebsd
[dna`]: what's the difference between 4.8 and 5.0 in general?
<aaron-> .2 |
#27373 (433/597) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CommanderStab> ICH BIN NICHT EIN KARTOFELE
<duckroll> you are aware you just said 'i am not a potato' right?
<CommanderStab> NEIN
<duckroll> k |
#24153 (369/507) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cael> i like how microsoft word automatically capitalizes 'microsoft'
<FDavid> oh yeah
<thestripedone> heh.
<thestripedone> see if they do it with macintosh
<Cael> haha
<Cael> macintosh isn't a word apparently
<Cael> rofl |
#21431 (381/524) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Linus-> "In the future, computers will weigh less than one ton." -unknown, 1949
(Judge_) and lo and behold, they do
(Judge_) but the users are now apporaching 1 ton |
#16564 (403/554) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<billyblacktop> yo yo yo, sup my niggas?
<jimmy2toes> your not black
<billyblacktop> how do you know that?
<jimmy2toes> I hacked your webcam, and now I can see you
<billyblacktop> yeah right you cant do that
<jimmy2toes> I can and I did.
<billyblacktop> ok then what color hair do I have
<jimmy2toes> Hmmm, let me zoom in a bit. Blonde, and you are white, about 6' 2", your room has an emenim poster and your bedspread is yellow and blue.
<billyblacktop> holy fuck man im telling the cops
Quits: {billyblacktop} (billyb@235.253.473.232) (Quit:)
<jimmy2toes> LMAO, that was a friend of mine, I just set up his comp today, and showed him mirc, he doesnt know my nick, what a fat tool!!!
<nellcarterlookalike> A fat tool indeed. |
#12431 (7991/11331) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Hiroe> he was dressed as a big fuckin devil
<Hiroe> like, HUGE costume
<Hiroe> 8-foot lizard wings, giant horns on the head
<Hiroe> at some anime con in california
<Hiroe> they were double booked with a southern Baptist group in the same hotel
<Hiroe> he's riding the elevator down to the con space
<Hiroe> doors open, little old baptist woman standing there
<Hiroe> he just says "Going Down" in his best evil voice |
#29452 (326/448) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@parasyte> I went straight towards my room where my nice large full size bed I had since I was 5 years old awaited me. I opened the door and...
<@parasyte> ... there is my sister, riding her fat boyfriend, fucking his brains out.
<@parasyte> My first thought was, "Wow, she had perky tits". My second thought was, "Wow, so does he", |
#27415 (385/531) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gryffon> Just how old do you think I am Quake?
<QuaKe> Gryffon, do you really want me to answer that?
<Gryffon> yeah
<QuaKe> Fine, 13.
<Gryffon> well, your off by about 9 years
<QuaKe> 4? |
#78993 (503/697) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sanguini> Dear Sir/Madam,
<Sanguini> You are a lucky winner in our "Win a Tomahawk Cruise Missile" competition.
<Sanguini> Please send us your GPS coordinates to claim your prize. |
#76659 (470/652) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Ho0chie> i had awesome nerd moment with flat mate earlier.....
<@Ho0chie> ...he threw me a packet of crisps and they fell on the floor...we looked at each other and he said 'oh man, packet loss' |
#35690 (579/803) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DiKKy> _________________________________________
<DiKKy> / LOL THE HOLY COW WANTS TO COVER U IN \
<DiKKy> | THE FILTYH STINKING SPERM IT CARRIES IN |
<DiKKy> \ ITS GIGANTIC PENIS /
<DiKKy> -----------------------------------------
<DiKKy> \ ^__^
<DiKKy> \ (oo)\_______
<DiKKy> (__)\ )\/\
<DiKKy> ||----w |
<DiKKy> || ||
<Geoffd1> cows are female, idiot |
#5259 (347/478) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<reuben> somebody keeps jiggling the doorknob on my front door, then running away
<reuben> i don't know if i should call the police, or hook up some electricity to the doorknob
<cristobal> why don't you put ice on the stairs
<cristobal> and heat up the door knob
<cristobal> and swing paint buckets down from your two story foyer
<cristobal> then a few years later, fade from the public eye..... |
#88600 (450/622) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tmonk> i always got confused when i was younger and saw magazines
<tmonk> where canadians have different prices
<tmonk> i questioned my father. "if we give equal rights to black people why not canadians too?" |
#97516 (540/748) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CTho> i really think NOAA should have called "National Weather Service" "Atmospheric Research Center" instead.
<CTho> then, you could get your weather forecasts from NOAA's ARC |
#311057 (95/125) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal |
#121162 (409/565) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
atlasFTW> IM GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY THIS THING
<wildleaf> what thing?
<atlasFTW> My solution won't build
<wildleaf> then its a problem, not a solution |
#309382 (117/155) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zor> what kind of resource would it make sense to find underwater
<gmcabrita> water |
#309301 (81/107) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Bruno: "Hm, I should put on a podcast while I clean the kitchen" -> "Hm, Pragha doesn't seem to have an RSS podcast feature" -> "yum install banshee" -> "sudo yum install banshee" -> It's now like 30 minutes later and the kitchen is no cleaner |
#308834 (81/107) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Nevermind: About shitty code
Nevermind: There is an hierarchy - WidgetBase - GuiWidget - Rectangle
Nevermind: What do you call a programmer who adds a scroll event handler to Rectangle class, which changes value of a field added to WidgetBase, which is later used in GuiWidget as a text argument to a low leve render code
Nevermind: All this just to make a scrolling text show up over Rectabgle in a single place?
MaxEd: You don't call him anything, he should not hear you coming |
#306996 (207/281) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<scoff> I owe Toronto a visit at some point
<Mr_Shfty> outstanding warrants?
<scoff> Well, they're okay but I wouldn't say they're outstanding |
#304893 (170/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Grif> guys since when did Hello Kitty have a boyfriend
<Unknonymous> Grif, since when do straight men pay attention to Hello Kitty.
<Dritz> Unknonymous: since it's on a cute girl's underwear, is when |
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