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#26311 (315/419) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FunG¦away> and i dont dress quite like the other boys
<Logic_BomB> "what are you wearing?" "a kilt" "no man thats a skirt.." "its a kilt im telling you..." "uhhh its pink, has flowers and shoulder straps" "its a prety kilt" |
#25625 (448/602) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Xian just heard a loud bang out side
<Xian> OMG
<Xian> THe pizza boy hit our car!
<Valv|tuba> WHAT?
<Boko> Is the pizza okay!?!? |
#15956 (360/482) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mrm> i hate realplayer
<lummie> its good for cartoons
<mrm> yeah
<mrm> but it crawls deep into the anus of my computer
<mrm> and hides there eternally
<mrm> until i least expect it
<JtHM> your computer has an anus?!
<Fesh> realplayer installs it |
#297004 (390/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
John: i need something perverted to say to my gf
John: i'm just not perverted and dont know anything about that stuff
Ethan: say "I want you inside of me."
John: okay |
#297077 (297/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Erik> First catch from a dating site stopped replying because I was being "too intellectual".
<Erik> Second one thought I was "too good for her".
<Erik> Third one rejected me because I mentioned I enjoyed Dragonlance novels.
<Erik> Oh well, can't stop now.
<dd7> erik's finally coming out of the basement |
#106666 (221/293) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rogueboy|Work> what if I were to speak with intelligence?
<Raziel> it would look down on you |
#300112 (408/546) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[kris] Hey, roomie... you know that "oh fuck" moment when you realize you have to go to the ER?
[grego] Yeah, ... ???
[kris] Grab you car |
#294592 (273/363) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Zigkirby) I mean, could you explain it to me?
(@Polly) I could but I feel I'd be wasting valuable typing energy. I can only type so many characters per day and when I start getting close to the limit i hv to strt lving out lttrs so i dn rn out
(@Jaq) You're having irregular vowel movements
(@Jaq) Perhaps you've caught what I have |
#300835 (346/462) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> It's bad when I'm watching a porno and I suddenly realize "Hey, I know this song. It was in that other porno." |
#301268 (86/112) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited. |
#213469 (200/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Raws> rofl
<Raws> I was just answering some poor guy's question in #java on another network, while I was watching these dateline things
<Raws> And I was talking about the dateline stuff in another channel
<Raws> So in the other channel, we all decide to change our nicks
<Raws> In the middle of me answering his question, this guy just sees
<Raws> *** Raws is now known as onlinepenisguy_464
<Raws> He just left |
#72026 (456/612) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LPF> sara, are you in a relationship?
<kitchen> lpf must be new.
<sarala> LPF, are you being serious?
<LPF> ...have I missed something here?
<sarala> Rjx is my husband
<kitchen> you're married now?
<Rjx> we're married now? |
#52980 (376/504) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Waffle> son of a bitch
<Waffle> this is not chapstick
<Waffle> this is a glue stick
<Waffle> fuckComment: #nodewar
|
#49734 (459/619) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Davester: Woo I just won at Freecell
Davester: Now all I need to do is get laid
Davester: And it'll be the best year ever |
#48894 (11696/16134) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@cripwalker> my girlfriend is so fucking cool.
<@cripwalker> we were arguing in IM last night about techtv being lame since g4 took over.
<@cripwalker> she thinks its better now that theres more "pretty" people on it.
<@cripwalker> that filter girl is, like, her idol.
<@cripwalker> anyway, i wasn't giving up. i really believe that channel to be a lost cause, now.
<@cripwalker> so she says to me "i'm gonna come over there and beat some sense in to you"
<@cripwalker> then she logs out.
<@cripwalker> about 10 minutes later, she pulls up in her car, runs into the house, walks in like she owns the damned place, and punches me hard as hell in the arm. no hello, or nothing.
<@cripwalker> then she leaves. didn't even say goodbye. i was totally speechless.
<@cripwalker> sure enough, 10 minutes later she logs back on.
<@cripwalker> she says "i knew you'd see things my way."
<@cripwalker> then she asks if she can come over to watch tv...
<@cripwalker> i'm sooo gonna marry her! |
#81271 (382/512) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Syntacs> I just cut my finger with a disposable tupperware container.
<Syntacs> If I'm ever the victim of a home invasion, I guess I'll know what to defend myself with.
<RedBeard> mini velociraptors?
<Syntacs> Right, but failing that, the disposable plastic containers I keep them in. |
#76605 (617/833) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@big_al> .
<Loki1> good point |
#67276 (432/582) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* DreadPirate pictures the airline handing Mango a parachute and pointing her towards the door
Mango: DP: OI THERE! I'm very much male!
DreadPirate: oops :)
Mango: >.<
PinkFreud: at least I'm not the only one who makes that mistake. :P
DreadPirate: heh - glad to know I'm not alone as well
Mango: Hmm.
Mango: When you thought of me as a girl, was I pretty? |
#59146 (438/590) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<madman> Perhaps I'm a bit racist.
<madman> This Mexican guy called saying he was interested in the car I was selling, so I give him the directions to my house.
<madman> I see him pull up in his truck, and so I go outside to greet him, guess what I say?
<madman> "Hey Pedro!"
<madman> I'm about to apologize when he says, "How'd you know my name? I didn't even tell you!"
<madman> Talk about lucky. |
#34219 (451/607) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err. |
#53708 (318/426) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cmantito> I just found an old briefcase
<cmantito> with all my 2600 magazines in it
<cmantito> and a can of Crisco.
<cmantito> ... ><
<celti> ...
<celti> a can of Crisco?
<cmantito> I have NO idea. |
#49395 (426/572) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<digi> I had written a Dune quote on my board this morning: "Truth suffers from too much analysis". Upon returning this evening, I saw that it had been changed to "ruth suffers from too much anal" |
#47483 (457/615) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xavier> Aidenn is awesome.
<Xavier> I just went downstairs to put on some tea for her, and she put on some music for me by SSHing into the computer near the kitchen.
<Xavier> that's totally hot.
<Aidenn> I've SSHed my way into Xavier's heart |
#43244 (385/517) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<<HobbitGrease> tobita: i'm going to expose more of my computer stupidity here, what's the difference between SDRAM and DDR RAM
<Tobita> The number of pins on the stick
<<HobbitGrease> ah
<Tobita> Other than that, DDR is faster
<<HobbitGrease> at least i'm not calling the entire computer tower the modem, as a coworker was doing today
<Defiler> Hobbit: Technically, it's "SDRAM" vs. "DDR SDRAM"
<Defiler> Which should make it clearer that one is an enhanced version of the other.
<Defiler> Imagine that someone is flicking the light switch on and off in your room.
<Defiler> In the room with you is a dwarf with a knife.
<Defiler> With regular SDRAM, every time the lights go out, the dwarf stabs you.
<Defiler> With DDR, not only does he stab you when the lights go out, but also, when the lights turn back on, he kicks you in the shin.
<Defiler> As you can see, more information is being transmitted, even though the same process is going on.
<Defiler> This is the magic of DDR. |
#31921 (393/527) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wallrod> i hate having my room right next to the bathroom
<Wallrod> i have to hear my dad take a shit
<Wallrod> EVEN DEATH METAL DOESNT COVER ALL THE FREQUENCIES MY DAD'S ASS BROADCASTS ON |
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