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#237075 (647/869) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yahoo> God, don't you hate it when the internet seems to be exhausted?
<Yahoo> The feeling that there's nothing left to do on it.
<Yahoo> Nevermind, found something |
#31738 (318/422) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mod> someone was telling me the other day
<mod> and i cant remembe where
<mod> that he wa checking baggage in at the airport
<mod> and his suitcase was REALLY packed full
<mod> and as he hands the bag to the guy at the counter he says "be careful, it might explode"
<mod> it was an awkward moment
<dano> ROFL
<mod> this was like a week ago too
<mod> oranger alert and all |
#14055 (409/544) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<foobar> the FUNNIEST tech glitch ive ever heard of happened at my workplace
<foobar> ok.. so we run an internet storage service right? and one of our clients is a large photo site that allows people to upload pics and view them online
<foobar> well.. our software had a little bug in it .. sometimes if a file is uploaded and not cached properly by the system, the system will deliver the same file for hundreds or thousands of different files
<foobar> so what happened is someone uploaded some bestiality pictures, and those got caught in the cache, so everbody uploading their 4th of july pics got them ALL replaced by the same picture of a girl jerking off a horse
<foobar> 50,000 times |
#2353 (392/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<korb> anyone got a nuked vers of kof2000n??
<korb> anyone got a nuked vers of kof2000n???
<blazemore> quick, add more question marks, i think it's working |
#115 (585/787) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> i like stalked this girl sorta :D
<BlackDeth> like once she asked me for a ride home from work
<BlackDeth> and i took her home... i dropped her off at her house
<BlackDeth> and shes like... wait a minute..how did you know where i lived? |
#94997 (2555/3485) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nightwolf> What are your thoughts on chivalry? Do you hold the door open for women?
<nightwolf> Or do you rush through and let it close in her face?
<worrydream> I rush through and lock the door behind me. If she's able to climb through the window, she's a keeper.
<nightwolf> Do you open the window for her?
<worrydream> Yes. But it's the second-story window.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her a ladder?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to lash together a ladder out of rope and wood.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her rope?
<worrydream> No. I expect her to weave a rope out of natural available materials.
<worrydream> Grasses and vines and stuff.
<nightwolf> Do you leave her those materials?
<worrydream> I leave her seeds. |
#296044 (378/504) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you lack pattern recognition?
<AgentError> What?
<Talon_IceHawk> Do you-- wait, fuck. |
#310922 (44/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs |
#103771 (187/247) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
FrierT: when life gives you lemons, ask life if it knows its supporting underage farming labour in several tropical countries. |
#115085 (339/451) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DinkyDogg: me and porn has always been kinda like israel and nuclear weapons
DinkyDogg: i've never claimed to have porn but they all know i do |
#294948 (477/639) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mom: thanks to your status message, you can say good nite to the internet
*** Auto-response sent to Mom: I'm busy because my mom's being a nazi. Sieg Heil. |
#308078 (55/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then. |
#292278 (343/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Royall> Being famous means your name isn't underlined in red when you type it in Microsoft Word |
#301132 (443/593) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Meudi: Dude, I think I fell asleep
CSpatriot: Why do you think that?
Meudi: Because I woke up |
#303479 (688/926) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tom> Guys, I just pulled the best prank ever, took 2 months to do the whole thing.
<Matt> ... Go on?
<Charlie> what was it?
*** Joins: Craig
<Craig> Fuck guys, James died.
<Matt> What the fuck?! How?
<Craig> Noone knows, a midget found him dead in his bathroom apparently.
<Craig> He is up there on the suspect list.
*** Quits: Tom (Ermm.. sleep)
<Craig> That'll teach the prick to hide midgets in my bathroom.
*Craig is now known as James |
#301761 (388/518) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Reunech> So I take this physics test, my midterm if I'm correct, and I did alright. The last question, however, was a bitch. I spent more than half the test on it and by the end I had this ridiculously convoluted equation and was looking at a big fat zero out of five for that question. Which would suck.
<Reunech> At this point I figure: "Fuck it, I'm gonna get it wrong anyway."
<Reunech> So I underline it, write "this is very wrong" and then draw an arrow, just to be safe.
<Reunech> I get the midterm back with the comment "Its good to know when you're wrong," and only two points off.
<Reunech> I did better than my friend who studied for three days.
<Reunech> By three points.Comment: He hit me.
|
#33880 (340/452) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wardrobe> well that was fun
* wardrobe walked into housemate's room. I said "hey have you been painting?" as I could smell paint. he said "yeh" and then I realised I was leaning on a wall. |
#59277 (441/591) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<simmy> Jack Bauer?
<simmy> (from 24)
<Simpleguy> Jack is a badass character. He can do anything
<|{evin> I think MacGuyver could take him
<|{evin> All he'd need is like.. some twine.. a toothbrush.. a glass of water.. and a tampon
<Simpleguy> You really need a rocket launcher to take down Jack? |
#55462 (573/769) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DaRk^ Has joined #Ghetto
<DaRk^> Sup Niggaz.
<johnyy> sup foo
<BFMV> sup foo
<Kenz> Yo nig.
<tonydakid> sup foo
<johnyy> we are all white right ?
<tonydakid> yep
<BFMV> yep
<Kenz> yep
<DaRk^> yep
<johnyy> k |
#54622 (377/503) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Radial> i think my mother knows i watch porn
<+Radial> i can't tell...
<Tsukari> Are you a male?
<+Radial> i am
<Tsukari> She knows. |
#54288 (369/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nero> Hey, C, have I by any chance told you my story about the Amish buggy?
<Gwendolyne> No.
<Nero> Once upon a time, me and a bunch of friends are headed to my friend's house about an hour away. We get off the highway, and because we're in Bumfuck, PA, we end up, behind, of all things, an Amish buggy.
<Nero> So we're behind this stupid-ass Amish buggy for several miles, and it's going at like, 10 MPH or some shit.
<Nero> And then it makes a turn into a store.
<Nero> Guess what store.
<Gwendolyne> Walmart?
<Nero> No.
<Nero> Advance Auto Parts. |
#53323 (369/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<beezlebub>hey, anyone know a good way to get blood out of car seat fabric?
<mooT>o.0
<BUST2>...
<ninWed>...
<beezlebub>nm, wrong chan.
<mooT>WHAT CHAN IS THAT OK IN! |
#31939 (441/593) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DarthWolverine04> i'll tell ya one thing, us swim team guys arent given enough respect for a our remarkable ability to control our wangs in the presence of so many hot girls in bathing suits |
#29166 (9254/12714) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BoZmAn20> Goddamnit, my ex girlfriend has such horrible taste in men
<BoZmAn20> wait
<BoZmAn20> Shit. |
#27624 (375/501) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@deez> yeah there's like 6 of us... with the same sense of humor in here
<Skail> who's using it now? |
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